10/31/11

A {true} Halloween Ghost Story



Happy Halloween!  

Okay, I have never written this story down.  And I bring you this story with a little bit of trepidation.  First, I am changing all names to protect the guilty innocent people involved.  Second, you have to promise not to turn me into the police.  Or the union.  Or whatever.  Third, I believe all the statutes of limitations have run out anyways, so don't even try.


I was in my first year of teaching first grade EXACTLY fifteen years ago today and what I'm about to tell you happened on a FRIDAY on HALLOWEEN.    Please keep in mind throughout the telling of this story that I was in my FIRST YEAR.  And I was proud and happy to have my own classroom.  I was IN CHARGE.  I knew what I was doing.  (ha!)  


I had a pretty normal morning.  Since it was Friday, the girls (my colleagues) and I went out for lunch.  When we returned, we met our kids out on the playground where they lined up.  


My kids were all in an uproar.   I heard variations of "Esteban (remember I changed the name) went to the office!" "Esteban got in a fight!"  "Esteban is in trouble!"  "We don't know where Esteban is!!"  It was pandemonium.


Well, let's remember I was IN CHARGE.  


"Boys, and girls, relax.  Shhhhh.  Quiet down!  Stop!  SHHHHHHH!" (I had no signals to get my kids' attention whatsoever.)  "The office will call me if I need to know anything."  (ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!)


We went into the classroom and I told them about this GREAT activity that we would be doing for math.  It was called Spinning Ghosts and it was an AIMS activity (anybody??) and it was fantastic for a first year teacher to do (especially because we didn't have standards and/or math curriculum so I could teach whatever the heck I wanted and nobody said anything about it.  The good ole days).  The best part about this Math activity was that students got to stand on their chairs while they were spinning their ghosts.  Yes!!!!  Let's all stand on our chairs!!!!!  What an awesome idea!!!!  And I'll do it, too, so I can be a good role model!!!!


So there we all were, spinning our ghosts, when sweet little Carol asked to go to the bathroom.  Let me give you the background on Carol.  


Carol was a know it all.  She tried to correct me all of the time.  She constantly told me that I was spelling things wrong (which I wasn't but she really wished that I was).  She was into every one's business and knew everything that was going on.  Carol was onto me.  She knew I didn't know what I was doing.  Oh joy.


"Can I go to the bathroom?" Carol asked.


"Sure, " I answered.


We kept spinning our ghosts to see which ghost would actually spin (the one with one arm down?  or the one with both arms up?) and we were having a great time.  The next time I looked up (oh, I don't know.  Ten minutes later??) there was a huge crowd of kids around Carol.


From the perch on my chair, I said, "What's going on???" (in a very stern, in charge voice)


The kids replied with lots of squeals, "Carol's got Esteban's finger!!!!!!"  


I am proud to say that I got down from my chair.  I walked over to the crowd.  I was annoyed.  


"Carol, whatever you have, throw it away, wash your hands, get back up on your chair, and SPIN YOUR GHOST!"


And that's what she did.


The rest of the day went by without a hitch.  (Well, some kids fell off their chairs and no one would stay quiet and everyone was super excited for Halloween but we made it to the end of the day.)


At dismissal, Esteban's older sister came to my classroom and asked if she could get his backpack and stuff.


"Sure.  What happened to him, by the way?"  I asked.


"Oh.  I don't know.  I just know he got hurt and went to the hospital,"  she replied.


????????????????  Uh oh. ????????????????????


I dismissed my kids and ran up to the office.  


"What happened to Esteban?"  I asked whoever would listen.


"Which Esteban?" (Seriously.  Which one?)


"Esteban LAST NAME!!!!"  


"Oh!!!!  Oh no.  You didn't hear?"


"Um, no.  No one called me." (why would they, right?)


"The big outside door to the boy's bathroom (which is usually held open by a large, circular trash can) slammed shut on Esteban's finger and cut half of it off."


...............................................................................................................................................................................


Shut.  The.  Front.  Door.

I started to sweat.  My heart began to pound.  My stomach hurt.

"Um . . . is . . . well . . . um . . . do you need the finger?" I asked.

INCREDULOUS LOOKS.  "Do you HAVE THE FINGER?" all of the office ladies shrieked.

"I THINK IT'S IN MY TRASH CAN!!!!!!!!!!!" I yelled.

"Go get it!  Hurry!  They could re-attach it!!!" 

So I ran all the way back to my room in shock.  This couldn't be real.  This was a joke.  They were playing a prank on me.  Right?  First year teacher.  Friday.  Halloween.  Ha ha ha.

I ran into my room and screamed for my partner, Sheri (real name - can't help it.  She saved my life and taught me everything I know) to help me.  We had a connecting door and she came running through it.  I caught her up to speed.  I don't know how she understood me because I just told her the whole story in one breath at a high decibel)  We decided to get a craft stick and a Dixie cup to forage through the trash. 


While we were sifting through the garbage, the classroom phone rang.


As I walked across the room to get it, I had a sinking feeling.  I was going to be fired.  I would lose my credential.  This was it.  

"Hello?"

"Kristin,"  my principal (GREAT man) said.

"Uh huh."  I'm dead.  It's over.  Almost two months in my own classroom is a pretty good ride.  Right?

"Kristin . . . has anyone ever given you the finger before?" he laughed. Laughed.  Laughed. Laughed.  Roared with laughter.  Barely got the sentence out.

"WHAT?!  Is this a joke????  What is going on?"

Amid the bursts of laughter, "No, no.  Really.  Try to find that finger.  They may be able to re-attach it."


Really.  My principal did that.  

Sheri and I kept looking through the trash.  Sifting ever so carefully.  Afraid.  Wanting to find it.  Not wanting to find it.  Still half believing that it was all a prank.

AND THEN.

There it was.  Amid ghosts and tissues and garbage.

Half a pinkie finger.  From about halfway between the first and second knuckle up.  It was a clean cut.  Had the fingernail and everything.  I'm not kidding.  THERE IT WAS.  ESTEBAN'S FINGER.

Sheri and I both said, "Hmmm.  Well, there's something you don't see every day."  
We said, " Well, now we've seen everything."  
We said, " Isn't that interesting?"  
We screamed, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

We shimmied it into the Dixie cup and then I ran back up to the office.  I will NEVER FORGET the way the finger threatened to bounce out of the cup as I was running.  Jiggle, jiggle, bounce, bounce.   Are you picturing it?

My principal drove it to the hospital but it was too late.  It had been sitting in my classroom's trash can for way too long.

So Esteban came back a few days later with a nub.  A NUB.  Sadly, nubs don't grow back.

I am still amazed that his parents didn't sue, that I didn't get in trouble, and that my principal thought it was funny.  I'm not AT ALL surprised (in hindsight) that little Carol asked to go to the bathroom.  That was just her excuse for crawling around on the ground near the bathrooms to look for Esteban's finger.  Because she knew.  And I didn't.  And she loved that.  The fact that she found what she was looking for (a FINGER) and held it in her bare hands grosses me out and cracks me up at the same time.

If this were to happen in my current school, I'd be a dead woman.  DEAD.

Lesson learned:  I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS investigate now.  If my kids say that someone has something, I check it.  (although in all my years since, no one has ever said that they have someone else's body part)  I do have to caution you on investigating everything, though.  

My friend told one of her kids to stop playing with something while she was teaching a lesson on the carpet.  He didn't.  So she told him to give it to her.

It was POOP.  From his pants.  And he had been playing with it.  For real.  

So BE CAREFUL.

That's my story.  And it's true.  And it happened to me.

Anybody out there got something like that to make me feel a little better???  


Please please please leave a comment so that I know you don't think I'm an awful human being and/or teacher.  


Have a happy Halloween.  And remember, I believe all of the statutes of limitations have run out.  So don't even bother.  Put the phone down.

81 comments:

  1. Kristin....I about died laughing!!!!!! You are hilarious.

    But on a seriously note....gross. What the heck? How crazy! :)

    -Rachelle
    whattheteacherwants.blogspot.com

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  2. OMG!!! That is insane!! I can't believe it all happened...and you lived to tell :)

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  3. OH MY GOSH!!! This is one of the best stories...EVER!!

    Seriously, so funny, crazy, and unbelievable! It sounds like something that I'm sure could have happened to my my first year.

    Too funny! So glad you still have your job! =)

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  4. Nubs down that was the BEST school teacher story ever.

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  5. That is the most horrible/funniest story ever!! lol
    Jennifer
    First Grade Blue Skies

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  6. Ok, that was a totally awesome story! LOL LOL Thank you for sharing it with us!
    ☺ Tanya
    First Grade is Fantabulous!

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  7. Best. Story. Ever. Thanks for making us laugh!

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  9. Seriously, I can't even type anything coherent. I'm just sitting here with my jaw open...holy moly.

    My story of sending a kid with a broken arm to "get a drink and try to go to the bathroom" doesn't even hold a candle to yours. (He wasn't even crying just said he got a boo boo on the playground).

    Dude...

    Holly
    Crisscross Applesauce in First Grade

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  10. Oh. My. Goodness.

    First, I am falling over laughing!!!!!!! You tell an awesome story. I can picture that poor lonely nub.

    Second, you weren't the only naive first year teacher. We seriously must have been separated at birth, or by a nub or something. I had a student bring a live, wild, baby possum to school in her book bag. Then the said live, wild, baby possum (did I say wild?) was snuck out to recess where it managed to scratch several children before it crawled off in the nearby woods. I had to call parents and tell them to check for foaming. Like, at the mouth foaming. You know, just in case. I have no idea how I still have a job (or license). But just like you I learned my lesson. Check everything out for yourself!!!!!!!

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  11. Thank you for putting me on the floor in hysterics and causing my children to think I have lost my mind. This was perfect for Halloween!

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  12. Oh Em Gee, that story cracked me up. I find it so utterly strange that "Carol" found it, but didn't feel the need to tell you! Also, totally unrelated, I am rather jealous that you got to leave for lunch....say what?! Do you still get to do that? Totally amazing. I am so glad you post on a regular basis because your posts always crack me up!

    Living A Wonderful Life

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  13. Holy mama - I am cracking up! I had a girl slam her own finger in the door (thankfully it stayed in one piece) but I had the mom ready to sue me, the principal, nurse...oy. She made them call 911 and kept screaming "How did you let this happen to my baby!" over and over. Remember now, everything was still there, just bleeding and the girl did it to HERSELF! That was loads of fun.
    That is a wild story though and very well told. And the poop? EWW! I don't know which one is worse!
    (And PS - love the AIMS ghosts!)
    Denise
    Sunny Days In Second Grade

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  14. You need to write a book! You are hysterical!

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  15. No body part stories, but we have had "balloons" which a child found "all over his mommy's room" in foil packages and a "little plastic rocket launcher" which was found in mommy's trash can. I think our kids took the reuse and recycle lesson a little too literally. Ewwww!

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  16. Wow girl you had me rolling on the floor with laughter as you told that story. Unbelievable that happened to you. I'm sure that was quite a scary experience thinking you were in major trouble. Glad you were in a school with a supportive principal!

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  17. This is hysterical and so unreal!!! I'll be impatiently awaiting for you to write that book about teaching experiences...

    Creating & Teaching

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  18. Oh my! You crack me up and to think this is a true story! I love it! It's amazing the stories we have to tell. You have made my day! Can't wait to share this with my friends at school. Happy Halloween! Robin

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  19. Oh my gosh! I think you have the worst first year story I have ever heard! I loved your retelling of it. I was dying laughing.

    Swimming into Second

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  20. Wow! You have great storytelling skills! I was literally at the edge of my seat wondering what was going to happen! That must have been a mortifying experience for you, not to mention difficult on the stomach! I have to admit you seem to have reacted much more professionally and calmly than I would have (considering there was a severed finger involved)! I do not think you were in any way in the wrong. This incident happened on someone else's clock, why in heavens name did the lunch monitor decide to keep you in the dark on this????? Furthermore, who would ever believe that a student has a human finger in their possession! I mean come on!!!!! I would have totally been paranoid about getting into trouble too, but really you did absolutely nothing wrong!!!! If it makes you feel any better, last year (during my 5th year of teaching) I asked a student to hand me the stapler and he actually stapled his finger! It was stuck so deep he had to have it removed by a doctor and needed a tetnus shot! I felt horrible and responsible and never allow the student to go within a three feet radius of my stapler!! Hope this made you feel slightly better! Thanks for sharing your story!

    Nicole

    www.todayinsecondgrade.blogspot.com

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  21. Oh my gosh!! these stories are AMAZING!! HILARIOUS!! just what I needed!! lol!

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  22. Dy-ING!!!!!!!!! Hilarious!

    www.mrswheelerfirst.blogspot.com

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  23. OMG!!!! You're not alone! One day I was walking to the office when kids said "Aldo got his finger cut off in the bathroom door." I didn't believe them, thought they were overreacting, but continued my trek (in no rush because I didn't believe the kids)to the office. The bathroom is on the way. Well, what do you know? Sure enough there was part of a finger, nail attached, on the ground. GROSS!!!! Another adult happened by and when she got over the shock (which means she stopped shrieking) she went and got a paper towel. I picked it up and took it to the office. GROSS!! I couldn't wash my hands enough times that day! My story ends a bit differently than yours- his finger was reattached. But I was like you and didn't believe the kids either. I'm so glad you survived and continued teaching. These are the things they don't teach in credential classes. Take care. Hope this Halloween was a little less shocking!
     Chrissy
    http://www,firstgradefoundme.blogspot.com

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  24. Again you have made my day! What a hoot! You are an amazing story teller and I could just visualize everyone up on their chairs doing their AIMS activity ( yes I remember them too!). Everyone must have a Carol in their classroom! Thanks so much for sharing it with us!

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  25. OMG! I would throw up. How were you able to dig through your garbage and get the finger??? Wow. Also, your "Josefina" sounds like a student I have this year.... ay caramaba.

    Marvelous Multiagers!

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  26. Krisitn,
    I want you to know that I made a point of checking your blog today because I knew your story would be good and sister, you did not let me down. I laughed OUT LOUD! More than once. You are a riot and a half and that story is C-R-A-Z-Y!
    Jenn
    Finally in First

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  27. Well...I saw this on Sunny Days and had to come and check it out. I have no stories of body parts or poop....but there is a story about a little boy who could not keep his crayons in his desk. I had provided ziploc bag after ziploc bag and finally told him to bring a bag from home in the hopes that his mom or dad would ask him why he needed one. Well the next day, I saw him sitting at his desk putting crayons into a bag. "Great" I thought--he had actually brought a bag from home to put his crayons in. Then, I did a double take as I realized he was stuffing his crayons into a condom. It was like slow motion--I couldn't get to him fast enough and before I knew it, I was standing there, yes-you-better-believe it, holding a condom full of crayons in my hand. I raced to my desk where I stuffed it to an envelope, proud of myself because no other child had questioned me about the type of bag I had carried. The, the little boy started crying because I had taken his crayons 'for no reason'. Of course, I investigated, and was told that he had found the condom on the kitchen counter (Lysol anyone?) but that he had washed all of the gooey stuff out of it. I just went pale. Tons of questions went through my head. Had he gotten it clean enough? Did I need to worry about HIV? Did I have a cut on my hands? I thought I was going to throw up. I went over to the sanitizer and couldn't get enough. I buzzed the office and asked for the principal to come down, that I had an emergency. I explained everything to her and she told me that I needed to call his parents and explain what all happened. I just looked at her. I told her that although I have 3 degrees, no one ever taught how politely discuss used condoms with a student's parents. Anyway, long story short, the principal called the mother with me in the office so that I could fill in the details and then she sprayed my arms and hands down with Lysol. Turns out, the mom and dad were separated and the news of a used condom did not go over well at all.

    The next week, our staff did a meet and greet with some of our new teachers and we were asked to give them 'words of wisdom'. My offering: If a child needs a bag, just give them one. Heck, give them 100. Never ever ever ask them to bring one from home.

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  28. I love these stories- yours and the commenters! You guys have been in some interesting situations!

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  29. Oh my goodness...what...a...story!!!!!!! Oh my, oh my, oh my...my question is......why didn't any of the lunch aides run to check the bathroom floor for the missing finger?!!?!?!?!?!?! Great story!!!!

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  30. You had me laughing. What a great true story! I can't imagine searching for a finger in the trash can.

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  31. Kristin! I'm dying! That was the most perturbingly hilarious story ever! I would have quit if that happened to me!!!

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  32. Kristin, you had me cracking up I literally fell. Over. On. My. Bed. even though i have heard this ghost story before! I forgot the principal...hehehe...good advice on the poop! Happy Halloween, hope you got lots of treats this year!

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  33. Kristin, Do you have any idea how very much we all LOVE you? Your blog is a favorite of one and all. Not only do you share yourself and become transparent, you do it in a hilarious way. I truly believe this story is going to go viral! Are you ready for that????? Lots of love to you! Thank you for being wonderful you!
    Camille
    An Open Door

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  34. Absolutely loved your story! Hilarious, gross and scary all at once! Our fifth grade teacher plans to make big bucks with our stories from first grade. One of our teachers called the office to have a clean up of poop but she didn't want the kids to know about the pile so she said feces instead, one bright first grader then announced there was poop on the floor! Did AIMS, I just got rid of my books.

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  35. Oh, my. You've had your share of characters. Laughed out loud.

    I think I still have that AIMS activity. I Remember those good 'ol days....

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  36. Thank you for making my day! You are too funny!!

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  37. This has to be the funniest, most unreal story ever! You could seriously make some money on this one...publish it somewhere? The good news is now you can handle ANYTHING! You definately got "broken" in~
    Isn't this why we teach this age level...there is seriously never a dull moment! Blessings from Maine!
    Stephanie

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  38. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am sitting here giggling uncontrollably. Okay, it's gross but OMG, that is too funny!

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  39. Mine isn't as bad as yours, but during my first year, I was in a classroom from the 50's and the doors sucked. The thing to make them not slam shut was broken. One of my kids got his fingers, 3 of them to be exact, smashed in the door. They were crushed, but still attached to his little hand. He had tom have surgery to fix them and then he was out for a month. After that, mom moved him to another class. She told me it was because he liked me too mich, but I think it was the finger thing. He was a sweet kid, but whatever. Imhad 36 go in and out that year, so there was another one to take his place! I was so glad i didn't get in. Trouble, but I did get my doors fixed!

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  40. Bahahahaha! First year power! :)

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  41. OH EM GEE! bahahha! that is the grossest (and craziest) school story i have ever heard! LOL.

    and darn it, i had the phone in my hand and all ready to go! (ha)

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  42. I thought I had heard and seen everything in my 19 years of teaching kindergarten....but your story takes the cake! I laughed so hard that my husband had to come see what I was reading and he laughed and cried right along with me. I've always said that kindergarten teachers should sit down and write the stories that happen on a daily basis in our classroom. Maybe something titled like THE TOP 100 STORIES FROM A KINDERGARTEN TEACHER. Your story would have to be number 1!

    Thanks for the laugh...I can't wait to share it with my co-teachers.

    Oh, and by the way, I still think you are an awesome teacher. :) Ann

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  43. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  44. OHMYGOSH!!!! I literally screamed out loud when I read this!! We just lost power for four days (snow) and your blog post was the first one I caught up on as soon as I got online--what a story! And no, you are nowhere near an awful human or teacher, you are fantastic!!
    Kristen

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  45. By the way, that deleted one was mine above, I messed up my words. I'm just recovering from blog withdrawal, sorry!!

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  46. O...M...G I haven't laughed that hard in a long long time! Thanks for such a great story. My husband yelled downstairs from the 3rd floor to ask what I was laughing at..I woke him up! I can't wait to show my co-workers. You need to publish this somewhere...H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S!
    Mel D
    Oh the Places We’ll Go

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  47. Holy Moly, You need to sell that story to a sitcom writer. I could see that on an episode of The Middle or something. Thanks for the laugh! AGAIN!

    Marybeth

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  48. Kristin, I am laughing out loud. I love your blog. I am a High School teacher in Brazil!!!

    Take care

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  49. Dead. Just dead. Tears pouring down my face. Loved this story!!!

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  50. Oh Kristin! You just made my night...maybe my week! I really needed to laugh like that! Your blog is a delight to read. Not only are you making a difference for those little people in your lives - also for the big people who stalk you daily!! Luv ya!

    shawnarogers@yahoo.com

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  51. This is disgusting and funny. Omg...I think everyone hs a first crazy year! I had one kid take a dixie cup into the bathroom pee in the cup and then through it in the toilet. Obviously the toilet was clogged and it was a little fiasco but nothing compared to his mom hanging up the phone on me and coming down to school literally yanking her kid from my class screaming at me that it was somehow my fault. Then making a very dramatic exit taking all her kids home and shouting that they would not be coming back to school. They didn't....I was relieved...but there was only hmm 5 more days left of school. Her kid was 5-yes it was naughty but she was crazyy! Oh first year...I try to erase it from my mind sometimes!

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  52. ROTFL....great story!! laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes. you really should write a book!!!

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  53. Funny that I read this today!!! We had our own little "poop" incident today!!!! OMGoodness!!! You had me cracking up! Too hilarious!!!!

    Live Laugh and Love to Learn

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  54. This was so funny and unbelievable!

    I had a student (Sally.. changed name) who came to school telling me she was having a hard time hearing out of her right ear (background: Sally has a very strong speech impediment) and I noticed that her speech was worse than it had been the week before. I proceeded to look into her ear and saw nothing and told her my standard answer: "Tell your mom to take you to the doctor." The next few days she continued to complain about her ear so I called home to ask her mom what might be going on. I then found out that Sally had not told her mom that it had been hurting her like I told her to. (Isn't that a surprise) Her mother did notice her speech getting worse. I then told the mom I would send Sally down to the nurse to check it out. Soon after sending her down to see the nurse my classroom phone rang. The nurse told was on the other end, "You will not believe this but Sally has a green crayon stuck in her ear!" I immediately thought it happened at school and I was going to be in big trouble. The nurse called her mom to come pick her up to take her to the ER to get it taken care of ASAP. At the ER they could not get it out so they put some softening solution into her hear and asked her to come back two days later. In the meantime she came back to school. We joked about putting things into our ears and tried to make Sally not feel alone since she was so concerned about getting it out. (We still do not know how it got in there) While we were talking about why it is important to keep things out of the openings in our bodies (good thing noone brought up other body parts) a student who did a report on Helen Keller told about how Helen lost her hearing. It was because of a piece of rice that flew into her ear on her wedding day. Sally immediately look scared to death. I, knowing this would upset Sally who was sitting there with a green crayon still in her ear, tried to make a point that while that could happen it would all be okay and they would get it out. Long story short ... Sally had to be put under for surgery and they got the crayon out ... and found a something else while they were in there! A small yellow gem with a sticky back! (the stick on earring kind) They were able to get it all out and Sally's ear and hearing were fine, thank goodness! And now her favorite color is green! She even redid her bedroom with a green crayon theme! We still do not know the true story of how the gem got into her ear but it apparently jumped off of her sisters bedroom wall and fell directly into her ear! And the crayon I suppose was being used as a tool to get the gem out ... but she won't admit that I am right. :) ... At the end of all this Sally's mother said, "I'm not surprised Sally put the crayon in her ear ... she once got a pea stuck up her nose as a toddler!" I just laughed and shook my head ... I hope she has learned her lesson. The process of getting the crayon out was pretty intense and memorable! I can't imagine she will forget that experience!

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  55. Oh. My. Goodness!!!! Saving this story for so long...I am so glad you shared it with us...talk about first year nightmares!!! I'm sending this link to a lot of my teacher friends!!!
    Thanks, Nancy
    The Apple Basket Teacher

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  56. That is way too hilarious! What a great story!
    Rowdy in First Grade

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  57. Oh good grief! I am JUST about to start my teaching career, so the advice to "CHECK THINGS OUT" is pretty good.

    I laughed SO hard reading this post though! But I was also very grossed out. :O

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  58. Ah ghost spinning...how this reminds me of my own first year of teaching!!! I shared this with everyone I know! Thank you for sharing!

    Ms. Chrissy B
    http://buzzingwithmsb.blogspot.com

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  59. Wow, that's insane!!! I've never seen your blog before today, but this story TOTALLY has me following you!

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  60. I just came across this post through TBA and you are the best story teller. I couldn't imagine! Thanks for sharing!!

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  61. OK, seriously - this is without a doubt the FUNNIEST thing I've read probably all year. I was crying reading it!!! So glad I stumbled upon this via TBA's funniest stories link. Thank you so much for sharing!! Oh and you should TOTALLY write a book. Your writing style is amazing and you are too funny!!
    ~Emily
    http://circusoflearning.blogspot.com/

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  62. I was dying reading this! Too funny!!! It's one of those "that is hilarious and disgusting and I'm SOOO glad it didn't happen to me" stories. Love it! Thanks for the giggles!

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  63. I am literally crying from laughing so hard - like, can't breathe, face stuck, no noise because I can't even handle it laughing. This made my YEAR!

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  64. This post made my night, I laughed and laughed and laughed....college tends to make us think we're the greatest thing our first year of teaching! Just think, because of you this little guy has the best story to tell his future girlfriends about his finger!
    ~Fern
    Fern Smith’s Classroom Ideas!

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  65. OH MY GOSH - I'm still laughing out loud! Wow! I believe you!!! I found this link on Camille's An Open Door and clicked. Wow! You have to have this printed in a book. I kept a journal of funny things that happened to me then turned it into a book (along with tips, recipes, etc). Anyhooo, LOVE THIS. Hope you'll visit my blog.

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  66. Okay, Kristin. I read this back when you posted, but today I decided my building needed a laugh and sent the link. Boy, did we laugh... :-) So funny!

    Crystal
    http://teachinglittlemiracles.blogspot.com/

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  67. That is the best story EVER! Well, not for Esteban...! And that your principal thought it was FUNNY! Oh my gee, that was the best part! You definitely should write a book! So glad you didn't get fired. But, you know, it's really Carol's fault that Esteban is walking around fingerless today. I mean, that child knew exactly what she had and why she had it but she'd rather know more than you instead of telling you what was going on. That is just wrong. If Carol's reading this now I hope she's ashamed of herself. What am I saying? No she's not. She cracking up laughing like the rest of us! Thanks for sharing!! It helps all us teachers to know we're not perfect either!!

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  68. OMG!!! i am about to pee my pants!! this is hilarious...i mean poor esteban! I probably shouldn't admit this but i taught for almost a whole hour one time without noticing one of my students wasn't there! (he got picked up and wouldn't you know it, the office didn't tell me either!) :)

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  69. HILARIOUS! Why do all these things happen our first year of teaching when we don't know any better? My first year of teaching my K partner and I were doing a bug unit and encouraged the kids to collect live bugs in our kindergarten garden. We caught this really cool looking striking black spider and had it in one of those little plastic bug jars that have a maginifying window on the top (Nope, no tape or anything--just slightly screwed on) I didn't really look at it much--just set it out on the table for the kids to inspect it at choice time. Well. . . a few days later I finally had the time to sit down and look at it, and yep, it had a red hourglass on its belly. LOL. I am one lucky teacher that no one opened up that jar!

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  70. I am siting here reading ALL your blog posts and had to comment! This story is just hilarious! I too have a Gross story from my second year of teaching kindergarten. (My first year was a blur; but I'm sure I owe every one of those children an apology!) Anywho, one little darling said he wasn't feeling well. A little background on this kid, he was ALWAYS "crying wolf" about not feeling well and usually just wanted a hug or some attention, so I offered to give him a hug. He came over to me to get a hug and proceeded to barf all over the front of me. It (the goo) went everywhere, my bra, pants, even into my shoes! It was disgusting and of course made me immediately go into sympathetic convulsions!! I had to call the office so they could send someone to come and watch my class so I could run home (a 15 minute drive) and shower and change EVERYTHING!! Now, I NEVER, ever offer hugs to kids who say they don't feel well! I usually offer them a barf bucket! YUCK!!

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  71. I am siting here reading ALL your blog posts and had to comment! This story is just hilarious! I too have a Gross story from my second year of teaching kindergarten. (My first year was a blur; but I'm sure I owe every one of those children an apology!) Anywho, one little darling said he wasn't feeling well. A little background on this kid, he was ALWAYS "crying wolf" about not feeling well and usually just wanted a hug or some attention, so I offered to give him a hug. He came over to me to get a hug and proceeded to barf all over the front of me. It (the goo) went everywhere, my bra, pants, even into my shoes! It was disgusting and of course made me immediately go into sympathetic convulsions!! I had to call the office so they could send someone to come and watch my class so I could run home (a 15 minute drive) and shower and change EVERYTHING!! Now, I NEVER, ever offer hugs to kids who say they don't feel well! I usually offer them a barf bucket! YUCK!!

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  72. I am a year late on this comment but OMG! That is the funniest thing I have read - EVER! Love reading your posts

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  73. crazy!! what a read on a stormy Hallowe'en night!

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  74. crazy!! what a read on a stormy Hallowe'en night!

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  75. lol...lol.. gosh glad it didnt happen to me.. I have quite a few "poop" stories..lol

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  76. That is hysterical! I have a similar story, though.
    My kids were writing quietly one day and all of a sudden, I hear "Marcus (name changed) only has one eye! Marcus only has one eye!" Of course I started explaining that his eye is there, it just doesn't work like the other one, having noticed when I met him that he had a lazy eye. Or so I thought. Finally one of my kids goes "oh, yeah, it's in his pocket." So of course I said "show me." HE DID. His eye was in his pocket. He had a fake eye that apparantly was bothering him and so he took it out. Mom didn't bother to tell me, so of course I was shocked!

    I'm with you, though, I always investigate...and this was my 11th year teaching. Sometimes we never learn!!

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  77. That was f-u-n-n-y! You are a GREAT story-teller! I was laughing so hard I was crying. Thanks for sharing!

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  78. I'm seriously crying right now from laughing so hard!! You are so good at telling stories! That was awesome!!

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  79. Kristin...it's Julie Kennedy and I can't even believe what I'm reading happened to you. Disgusting, amazing, hilarious....what a story!

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