I thoroughly enjoyed my date with Tivo last night. How about you?
I don't have that much to say about Real Housewives. I'm very pleased and surprised that it will be a THREE PART reunion. Now that's what I'm talking about! I really wish the three parts were one after the other . . . I don't want it to drag out. Just hit me!
So Lisa and Adrienne. Geesh. Not so neighborly, I guess.
I have always thought that Lisa was funny -- but I can't stand little digs when someone is doing it to me so I get where the other girls are coming from. Jackpot is Adrienne's child so I get that Lisa calling him Crackpot is quite upsetting. I mean, if someone called MY Sydney by a different name . . . say Lassie or Bingo or Kidney, I'd be devastated. Especially if I didn't have time to cover her hears before the other person said it. She may not be able to speak English (although I understand her perfectly), but she UNDERSTANDS it.
Adrienne also seemed to know a lot of people who know a lot of people who know Lisa's friends that said that Lisa said this and that and the other . . . Just ask Lisa!!! That whole bit was tiring.
I don't know what to say about Taylor. I don't have anything yet. It's just too sad and I don't think I should joke.
Brandi came out way too late -- I think it's going to get a lot better next week!
Let's move onto the Bachelor.
Did everyone see that Emily (from Brad's season) is going to be the next Bachelorette?? Hadar at Miss Kindergarten texted me during the show (we were actually texting through most of it because we're BBFF's now and it's what we do) to tell me that Emily is the next Bachelorette. SWEET!!!!!
The Bachelor started off with the drama between Emily's mouth twitching and Courtney's shoulders shrugging.
Then Nicki and Ben went on a one-on-one. And it rained. So Ben decided to wear a hat. This is what I said when he wore the hat.
But he didn't listen. And he wore it. Or, rather, the hat wore him.
I decided I like Nicki. And I actually LOVED the seashell, bucket, chair, umbrella, thingamajig they were sitting in. I need one of those.
The baseball group date was cute. My worst nightmare, but cute. I'll tell you right now that I would have been picked last. I can't hit a ball with a bat. Or a piece of cardboard. I have no business being anywhere near where a ball could hit me. But those girls were pretty darn good.
People, Ben did not fill out those baseball pants. My hubs played baseball his whole life and I watched a lot of his games when he was a highschool senior (and I was . . . ahem . . . mouth twitch . . . shoulder shrug . . . in college) and I loved the way he looked in his uniform. From the back. When he was catching. And Ben . . . not so much.
Red team wins.
The beach. All I can say is Ben's hair is out of control. OUT OF CONTROL. Is it wet? Or is it sweat that's making it do that? What is wrong with it???
Courtney starts hinting that she would like to be naked with Ben. Except she doesn't hint. I said that to be nice. Courtney tells Ben that she would like to be naked with him. Because, shoulder shrug, mouth twitch, "a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do". Meanwhile, she says she can't believe a stripper (Blakely) can play baseball. Well, let's see here. In all honestly, I didn't know a stripper (aka skinny dipper) could model. BOO-YAH!
One-on-one time with Ellyce. The writing was on the wall. Did you see it? As soon as she said she gave up her job and her bridesmaid duty in her best friend's wedding to be there for Ben, it was over.
Ben's face was all scrunched up and annoyed looking. He just looked so . . . I don't even know. But I could tell. And sure enough, bam! Get in the
Courtney waits up for Ben. At this point, Hadar had started texting me. So I knew.
Cover your eyes. Guard your children. Hold on while I cover up Sydney's ears.
Courtney and Ben got naked and went in the water. Without clothes on. In their birthday suits. And it wasn't even their birthday. I know! Do you think that they . . . they didn't, did they?
Cocktail party. Ben feels "crappy" about what he did with Courtney. Besides skinny dipping, what did he do?????? WHAT?!
Blakely opened up. I don't care.
Emily. Emily. EMILY! What a mess. She's a mess. I hope this is not a spoiler alert but there is NO WAY she's going all the way to the end.
The Rose Ceremony -- here we go again with THE HAIR. What is going on with THE HAIR? It's like another girl and it wants a rose, too. Is it the humidity? Does ABC not have a hair stylist that can work with his hair? I was so distracted by it. It's not good. Really. I should not be this worried about someone else's hair.
I was shocked when he let Jennifer go. He kissed her at the cocktail party. I checked (thanks, Tivo!). He gives Emily the SMACKDOWN ("Stay out of my other relationships."), KISSES Jennifer, and then keeps Emily. Go figure. I think the hair got in his eyes which led to some sort of mix-up and he made a mistake.
Jennifer did not seem well. Or she had the hiccups.
I guess Courtney hasn't been to Panama. Well, I have!
No, I haven't. Just wanted to say that.
And my champagne glass is higher than hers this week!
Well, it would be if I was standing on a chair. Or a ladder. Or stilts.