Hometown Dates! Hometown Dates! Hometown Dates!
(and Real Housewives of Orange County a little bit later. Plus Teen Mom with Dr. Drew. I'm excited for my evening!)
So . . . were you a little bit bored with this episode?
I thought it was interesting that they made us wait for Courtney's date. Come on, already. Just get to it.
First up: Lindzi
Can I just say that I had no idea there were parts of Florida like that? I have never been there, but Florida didn't look like that at all on the Real Housewives of Miami. Or the Jersey Shore. That's all I have to go by. Lindzi's parent's FARM with ROLLING HILLS and LOTS OF GREEN and a POOL and a FIREPIT and HORSES and STUFF has made me really want to go there now. Blog meet-up, anyone? Jen?
I have decided that Lindzi reminds me of Marcia Brady. Just in looks. What do you think?
Lindzi opens up to Ben and he is "pleased". Because let's have the girls do all the talking while you just sit there like a horses's butt. Grrrr. He's just so boring. DO SOMETHING.
Lindzi's parents are very cool. I liked them. No problem there.
Ben thinks Lindzi is "humble and grounded" and he likes that. What? How can he like Courtney then????? What?
Number 2: Kacie
Uh oh. Oh no. Kacie has very conservative parents. Like mine. Let's just put that out there. My parents are also very conservative. My parents rarely drink (and it's actually quite funny when they do. Ha!). My twin doesn't drink, either (I know! I've tried. She does not bend to peer pressure.) If my older sister and I have a glass of wine and then maybe go for a tad bit more (just a tad), WHOA. We have now become full blown alcoholics and we need rehab. Lots of head shaking and sighing on the part of the parentals.
So I identified with Kacie A LOT. Poor Kacie. Ben didn't seem too keen on the whole "not living together in San Francisco" situation. I wasn't "allowed" to move in, either. Oops. Did it again. Seeing as how this is not my story, I'll get back to Kacie.
As soon as Kacie said her dad was a federal-probation-officer-such-and-such, I was ready for him to light Ben up! LIGHT HIM UP, Mr. Kacie!!!! Let me grab my popcorn!
But he didn't. What a let down. Ben survived. It wasn't that good of a date. Ben had nothing to say. I was bored. Except for the parts where I was imagining this happening with my parents. And instead of the bachelor being Ben, it was Channing Tatum. Or Ryan Reynolds. And he was FULL of PERSONALITY.
Number Three: Nicki
As soon as I saw the Boot Shop (or the Cowboy Store or the Redneck Store or whatever you want to call it), I started screaming at Ben. But he didn't hear me. Because, GOODIE! He's so excited! He gets to wear another costume. Let's all wait while he jumps up and down and claps his hands. Goodie! (I am not making fun of Texans. I love Texas. Twin lives there. I used to live there. But I am making fun of Ben trying to be a cowboy. Which is why I went with Redneck.)
Hat. Boots. Shirt.
Hair sticking out from hat.
That was a big hat. BIG. How in the world could we still see his hair? How?
I thought Nicki looked great. She's cute. Ben . . . notsomuch. But, for the record, Ben thought Ben looked hot.
I just don't think there was a mirror. Anywhere. Or a reflection in a car window. Because he kept wearing the hat.
I absolutely fell in love with Nicki's dad. What a sweetheart. Seriously. In love.
I want Nicki to go find a different man. Not Ben.
This particular hometown date was a piece of cake for him. Piece of cake! I was annoyed.
Number Four: Courtney
I thought it was interesting that she all of a sudden feels badly for the way she treated some of the girls. Where'd that come from?
Also, no date. Straight to the parent's house. Smart. People, this girl is good. She's bad. But she's good.
I liked Courtney's family. I know. I'm sorry. I liked them.
So . . . smart Courtney has her date last. That's genius. Get the parentals out of the way and then go be alone. Has anyone EVER done it like that? I bet we'll see more of that in the future.
They had a FAKE WEDDING. Ohmyword. No.
But they did. And Courtney was actually . . . should I say it? I'm kind of scared. Hmmmm.
Courtney was actually . . . sort of . . . a little bit . . . sweet. Oh no. I said it. And I didn't cross it out. Don't hate me. I thought she was. I'm not happy about it. At all. I get no satisfaction from it.
And what do you know? Take a look at Ben. BAM! Tell him to write a vow and he has TONS to say. Where'd this come from? Did someone write it for him? He's never said that much this entire time on the show. Ever. I was floored. (or bedded. Because I was in my bed.)
If Courtney had been just a smidge more psycho, this fake wedding would have sent a normal man into a tailspin. A normal guy might have left her on the iceberg (think crazy-voice Casey with his tattoo that will guard your heart). But Ben was into it. Is he going to pick her? Is he??? I can't take it.
Lastly, we get to see Chris Harrison. Hi, Chris!!! We need more Chris. And then we have the Rose Ceremony.
Ben gives a rose to Courtney. People, I shook my head. I mean, what are we going to do? I think we're stuck with her.
Then he gives a rose to Lindzi. Wait. Huh? Hmmmm.
The last rose goes to . . . Nicki.
Poor Kacie. Waaaaaaa! She was my number one pick. Waaaaaa! (Although I do feel she needs a good ole boy from Tennessee. And needs to live closer to her family. And her future husband should not make wine. Maybe bibles.)
The limo language Kacie used was a bit shocking. I don't think her parents are going to want to hear that limo language coming out of her mouth. I'm speaking from personal experience. She may get grounded.
Next week, we're off to Switzerland. Did you see in the previews that someone comes back? Who? WHO?? Not Kacie. No. I don't want her to grovel. Who could it be??? Crazy mortician girl? Who?