Dress Debacle Conclusion (hopefully)

I hope that this will be the conclusion of the Dress Debacle.  Really.  I hope.  With all my heart.

I conquered my fears today.  

I went back to the tailor.

GASP!  Oh no, she didn't.

Yes.  I did.

On my own.  Without the hubby.

Here's why I went back.

I finally got two new pairs of jeans.  And even though the tag said short and the salesgirl assured me they were short, I'd have to wear high heels with them in order for them not to drag.  Really high heels.  The kind I don't own.  They're called stilts.  So I needed these jeans hemmed.  Obviously.

Well, I don't hem.  No one ever taught me.  I still don't know how to sew a button onto a shirt.  The hubby does that for me.  I don't even think Home Economics was offered at my school.  Instead, I took typing and careers.  Typing has really come in handy, let me tell you (and let's not forget my obsessive compulsive disorder to type on my legs that a lot of you are afflicted with, too).  Me?  Sew?  No.

In order to get my new jeans hemmed, I had to go back to the tailor.  I had to face him.  

I did think about shoving the dress into the deepest part of my closet and forgetting about it . . . that way, I could take my jeans to get hemmed and all would be well.

But the hubby insisted I return the dress for a redo.  INSISTED.  And because I need him for button sewing, I relented.

Today was the day, I decided.  Gulp.  Today was the day.  Hubby wasn't able to come.  Turns out he was volunteering for our church food bank.  I mean, really.  When push comes to shove, my hubby chooses people in need.  I tell ya.

I did a lot of deep breathing exercises.  And a little bit of stretching.  You just never know.

I zoomed into a dressing room with the jeans and the dress as soon as I got there.  I tried to make the dress as little as possible so the tailor wouldn't see it.

When I came out wearing the too-long jeans, Mr. Russian Tailor said, "What's going on with the dress?"  Or something along those lines.  I forget now.  I was in such a panic that the sweat perforated my forehead and got into my brain and now I can't remember.  He saw the dress?!  HE SAW THE DRESS.

"Um, well . . . you see . . . um, these jeans are too long," I answered.

He measured the jeans.  Made a chalk line about two feet up.  Repeated, "Is there something wrong with the dress?"

"Well, the thing is . . . "  What was the thing?  Gulp.  Clear throat.  "The, um, the zipper . . . doesn'treallylayflat."

He said, "Oh no."    

It took everything in me not to run (well, that, and the fact that those jeans were dangerously long and I could have killed myself if I had run in them).

He asked me to try the dress on for him.

So I did.

And the zipper was still catty wompus.  I have to admit I was afraid it would be like taking my car to the mechanic and it wouldn't make that noise anymore.  I was afraid the zipper would be all good, and smooth, and I would look like a fool.  Not so.  

Mr. Russian Tailor shook his head.  Pulled the dress.  Pinched the dress.  Smoothed the dress.  I may have been a little bit molested, but I wasn't going to say one word, I can tell you that.

He said he would do everything he could to fix it.  

I went back into the dressing room, changed, and emerged with my head down.  I couldn't look at him.

"Take as much time as you need on the dress," I said.

He said, "I'm so sorry it wasn't perfect."

I'm so sorry it wasn't perfect.

Kill me now.

I felt awful.  Just awful.

So I apologized.

He said not to.

I did, anyway.

Then he did.

We generally had a big ole sob fest, people.

But I did it.  And now it's over.  

Let's hope I never ever have to do that again.  I'm pretty sure my cardiologist wouldn't recommend it.


  1. Oh goodness! Glad the dress will now be fixed!
    You don't wear heels with your jeans? Girl- us shorties HAVE to wear heels. It makes us look taller...and THINNER! Always a plus! I am a heel-a-holic and now I feel like my heels that are 3" are like flats. Bring on the 5" heels!
    Rowdy in First Grade

  2. HILARIOUS~ molested made me snort.

  3. You were brave today! I hope you gave yourself chocolate! Good job!!

  4. OH I hate having to confront people like that! I would have been feeling the exact same way! So glad it's going to be fixed though. WooHoo! (molested - I think I snorted out loud!)


  5. I feel your pain! I feel the same way about confronting people. I put it off as long as possible and usually don't ever end up saying anything. I also always end up apologizing. Kudos to you on being brave! I hope your dress turns out great!

    Swimming into Second

  6. I am glad you are finally FREED! I don't like confronting people either. I actually have a meeting with our secretary about some not so pleasant issues that I am really frustrated about. I keep replaying what I am going to say in my head!

  7. haha - i love reading what you write. you have talent sister. it takes a lot to make me laugh out loud and you always do!

  8. Yay! Jeans!! (glad you went to the tailor and took care of the dress! =)
    First Grade Blue SKies

  9. Yay for you! I'm happy your dress will not have to live in your closet. Good for you for being brave! :)

    Second Grade Sugar and Spice

  10. Just like Reagan, I snorted at the molested part. I got a strange look from my cat hehe.

    Yay for facing your fears and getting the dress fixed!

    Journey of a Substitute Teacher

  11. Molested......Hilarious!!!! Glad you faced your fears!

    Ms. McBee’s Kinderbugs

  12. Kristin, I am so very, very proud of you! Such courage!!! I don't know if I could have done that. Your husband was right to insist but that didn't make it any easier. You faced a fear and survived. Hurrah for you!I am hoping that you love the redo on the dress.

  13. Kristin, Now I am doing a happy dance! I am at work and the last time I tried to comment on one of your posts it said that I couldn't because you were rated X. Okay, it didn't really, but it did say your site was restricted so I figured there must be something about commenting on your site that the censors in my district wouldn't allow and usually that is, well, rated X sites so there you go. But now, you must be rated G because here I am posting and all is well.

  14. Good for you!!!! Now lets hope he can fix it so there isn't another uncomfortable scene {or should I say seam...excuse my humor...getting punchy!}

  15. Hopefully, he gets it right this time. Glad you confronted him and it will all be solved :)


  16. I am laughing so hard, but not at your situation (just how you retell it). I would be such a chicken about going back, I probably would never do it. Good for you, I hope it comes out nicely the second time!

  17. GOOD FOR YOU! It's tough. I HATE doing stuff like that. It's easier on the phone. And WAY easier if they're not nice.

    Buzzing with Ms. B

  18. You go girl!! I am so PROUD of you for taking that dress back in!! It was driving me crazy! ;) he he! I told my students about your knee-biting student yesterday. I had to. I had a boy who wouldn't stop stroking the arm of the girl next to him. So I told them your story, and ended with, "If you have to rub someone's arm, rub your own!" They LOVED the knee biter!!! They laughed and laughed!!
    You make my day end on a happy note every single time!
    Teaching First

  19. I am so proud of you! Which I guess is kind of creepy, because I don't actually know you! HA! But seriously, yay for you!!! I know the dress will be just perfect the second time around!

    Kelli :)
    Castles and Crayons

  20. Wahoo for you!

    What brand of jeans....I am a shortie who needs to know! =)

    Heather's Heart

  21. Hey short friend, this 4'9 chick would like to know where you got your jeans too! Tanya

  22. Isn't it horrible when they are nice to you....you have this whole speech worked out in your head...you know what you are going to say for every possible remark they have.....except for the nice ones.
    Good Job!

    Going Nutty!


  23. That is precisely how I would have handled that situation - if someone forced me to pull it out of the back of the closet! So uncomfortable. Good for you for conquering that "fear". :D
    Dragonflies in First

  24. That reminded me of the Friends episode with Joey and the tailor measuring his inseam. Too funny!
    I was taught how to sew and now it's almost a curse. I buy things thinking that I will hem it...Now I have a big pile of "to hem". =)

    Emily @ Second Grade Silliness 

  25. Hi! I've have given you the One Lovely Blog Award!!
    Come on over to my blog to grab it!


  26. So glad you got it worked out. I love giveaways and I'm having one today. When I hit 100, I will be giving away a custom classroom stamp. Come visit me.

  27. You are so funny. I am very domestic (cooking and cleaning) but I do not sew buttons either. If the button has a dangling thread I just wrap it around the back of the button. If the button falls off I just stop wearing that article of clothing.

    Queen with Class

  28. Your post is the highlight of my day! You are so funny...and so brave! I am proud of you for putting on your big girl panties. :) I am 5'2" and I hate buying clothes, especially when I weighed more because apparently all "fluffy" girls are over six feet. What? LOL! Have a great weekend friend.
    <>< Crystal

  29. Well done on facing your fears.. even if under duress!

    Sowing Seeds of Learning

  30. Just curious if anyone else goes to your site to see a hilarious update, only to find the previous one. And then goes to see if you've been blog-stalking too and wonders why you haven't posted again! ? LOL! Am i the only one? Imagine that you should have other things to do! Love your blog and look forward to reading it. (and realize you do have a life!) IMAGINE!

  31. Proud of you:) So glad you went back and it is getting fixed:) You and your too long jeans....you need your tailor....so I'm happy you smoothed this out and that you don't have to wear stilts!!! So funny! So now you have another week of break???? I'm sooooo jealous!

    4th Grade Frolics

  32. Yay for you and yay for your sweet tailor. You know grown people who actually say sorry are rare. Good for both of you. You get a perfect dress =you're happy. He made you happy= he's happy. WIN/WIN!

  33. Now I'm worried that you think I'm mad at you (over at Crisscross Applesauce). :) Of course not silly, maybe just a wee bit jealous. No seriously, there are a LOT of people out there and I want to find them all too. Where are they?!

    First in Maine