Talk About It Tu-MONDAY!!


Before I begin, let me just say that I was quite busy last night.  

1.  New Jersey Housewives - Be quiet, Joe Guidice.  And Teresa.
2.  Big Brother - Holy shock and violence!!!!
3.  Bachelorette - We'll talk.
4.  After the Final Rose - Coming right up.

My head was spinning (and it wasn't just the wine!).

I had a party.

No, I didn't.  But I should have.  It's not like I had to wake up this morning.

All right.  Here we go.

Jef met Emily's parents.

Did Emily's mom have a deep voice or was that just me?  Did anyone else notice that her forehead did.not.move.at.all?  People, she's Emily's mother.  I think it's appropriate that a full grown woman's mother has wrinkles.  Not to mention, a grandmother.  But what do I know?  (And as I say that, my wrinkles are out in full force.  Picture me making a face with my hands out, palms up.  What do I know?  Wrinkle, wrinkle.  Move, move.)

Jef did a lot of talking about love and smitten-ness . . . with every single person in Emily's family.  Love, blah, blessing, blah, proposal, blah . . . My name is Jef and I'm a boy in a white T-shirt and skinny jeans.  Blah.  

Then it was Arie's turn.

Does Arie have some gray hair?  Or was that just the lighting?  I have thought this on several different occasions.  

Arie was awkward.  And he rambled.  But at least his shirt was blue.  

He talked to every single person in Emily's family, too.  It was also a lot of blah blah blah.  I have decided I need my husband to go on TV, and talk to a bunch of people on camera, and tell them how much he loves me.  He needs to use words like smitten and never-felt-this-way and so-in-love, etc.  It would be so romantical.  Sigh.

Dad gave both guys his blessing.  Awwwww.  Or, on the other hand, we could say "What's he thinking?"  He just met these jokers.  And he doesn't even know who Sean is . . . 

Mom told Emily to wait on an engagement.  

Whether or not she has wrinkles, she is a wise old owl.  (A cute one.  Not a scary one.  And one that would never swoop down and make a nest in your hair.)

Final Dates.  Jef had one wayward hair at the beach and that's pretty much all I could concentrate on.  Plus, they played sad piano music in the background.  So after a lot of sad hair blowing, it was decided that Jef could meet Ricki.  

So Jef met Ricki.  Ricki showed off her tricks.  And Emily talked kind of loud.  Then they all went swimming.  This time, violin music played.  All uplifting and such.

Jef and Emily had some alone time.  It was all lovey dovey and cute.  It was.  I'm not being sarcastic.  The music at that point sounded like the end of an old west mini series.

{In the midst of this whole episode, Chris Harrison was in a live audience talking to the people.  I think I'd like his job.  He even asked someone about the one "f" in Jef's name.}

And then BAM.

Emily met with Chris Harrison and told him she's in love with Jef.  And she wanted to let Arie go.  Wow.  This WAS THE MOST INCREDIBLY EMOTIONAL SEASON FINALE OF THE BACHELORETTE EVER!!!!  

Then Emily had the talk with Arie.  I was feeling for her.  I also tend to run from confrontation.  I am not good at it.  It comes as no surprise to my husband that I'm still dating a few boys from high school.  I just couldn't break up with them. 

Arie got a little emotional.  Do you think he was wishing that there was a race car nearby that he could hop into and speed away in?

Instead, he was a tad bit immature.  Just a tad.  "I don't know what you waaaaant," he said in a whiny voice.  And "Now give me a hug." (Which was said with stiff arms and an unyielding body.) 

Oh, Arie.  Just let it out.  

So . . . we had the leading up to the proposal scene with getting ready, and ring shopping (in which there is no shopping, just choosing a ring on behalf of ABC and advertising for Neil Lane), and walking on the beach, and a obligatory video montage.

Next, Emily proclaimed her love for Jef.  He proposed.  She hesitated.  She said yes.  The music was by Chicago.  Oh my word.  You're a hard habit to break.   (That wasn't the song, but I love that song.)  We Did It All For The Glory Of Love.  (I about died when the lyrics "Like a knight in shining armor" synced with a video of Jef in a skirt  kilt with a bow and arrow.  HIGH-larious!)

Then Ricki rushed in.  And off they went.  Well, not really.  It was taped in slow motion so it took awhile.

After the Final Rose:

It was a little anti-climatic for me.  It was hard to stay awake, too.  There just wasn't enough drama.  Arie and Jef are FRIENDS.  Jef helped Arie get over Emily.  Okaaaaay.

Jef and Emily are in love.  Or, at least they say they are.  It looked like it.  It was definitely a different couch scene than the one Emily had with Brad.  Remember that awkwardness?  

So I'm happy for them.  But I'm not getting them a gift.

And that's the end, folks.   

It was fun while it was lasted!

Tonight, The Bachelor Pad season premiere airs.  Now, I don't want anyone to throw any of those rotten tomatoes that you decided not to throw yesterday (at this post), but I have some sad news.

I'm tho thorry, but I'm going to take the season of The Bachelor Pad off for Talk About It Tuesdays.

I have ducked down and I'm scrunched up into a ball.  My eyes are closed and I'm protecting my hair.  I mean, my head.

I know, I know.  Wait.  I have reasons.  First, my twin and her family arrive tomorrow.  And then we are going to gallivant to Vegas to stay at my parent's timeshare - it will be less about gambling and clubs and more about water slides and pools and bowling alleys.  I can't wait, actually.  And second, I have  get to set up my room next week.  AND THEN SCHOOL STARTS.  So I'm just taking this season off so I can get adjusted.  It doesn't mean that if I feel the need to remark on something, I won't talk about it.  You know I will.  But I need a little break.  I just hope you understand.  I'm really thorry.

Lastly, I will be back tomorrow to answer some questions I received about gold tags.  I thought I went on and on and on as I tend to do, but I forgot some stuff.  Or it didn't occur to me to include it.  So I'll be back with that.  If you're wondering.



  1. Vegas sounds fun, but they don't have a Braums! Just kidding. I think she picked Jef because his family was not as weird as Arie's and they had ready made cousins for Rickie, and she was skinnier than his sisters, and they have that big ol ranch in Utah. I don't blame you for taking some time off, but have you noticed that one of the "biggest fans" looks just like a girl that way on Idol last season? The one from Texas...that had an English/Texas twang? Just wondering! Enjoy your vacation. I'll have a scoop of Braums for you.

    First Grade @ Storybook Cafe

  2. I'd love to read more about your gold tags. May I add a question-do you have kids vote on how many to give or take as a situation arises, or do list things that could happen and vote ahead of time?

  3. I loved when you could hear the live audience laughed at the awkward parts, like when Emily said um when Jef proposed, and he made a weird face.

    Makes me wonder if Arie was first would she have picked him? I also feel it wasn't going anywhere when she didn't show him the room card.

    Enjoy the rest of your summer! It has went by way to fast!

  4. I was THRILLED she picked Jef, he was my favorite from the start! I am tad biased though, I mean he is from St. George, I live in St. George... my hubby is from here and speaking from experience marrying a St. George boy is a GOOD THING! Oh and that ranch in Utah is just minutes from my house and couldn't be in a more beautiful location... I would marry him just for the ranch hahaha! I was just glad she didn't put Arie through a proposal once she made up her mind... I always think that is just cruel! Thanks for your Talk about it Tuesdays... it has been fun to read along as I watch the show! Have fun in VEGAS!

  5. I loved the ending! I have decided though that I really should not read the spoilers. I like knowing as I am watching the season, because it makes it more interesting during the actual season, but it really takes the fun out of the ending. Great re-cap!

  6. I'm Team Jef & Emil all the way. I hope it works out for them, I really do.

    Have fun in Vegas!

    Across the Hall in 2nd

  7. Break up with the H.S. boys already. ;P

    Awwww... you are just too funny Miss Krisitin!

  8. Hi Kristin, Im happy to hear that you are giving yourself realistic and healthy goals (for not writing weekly comedy after the Bach Pad) but selfishly, I will miss your hilarious "after-the-show" posts!! Now, tomato throwing would be in order if the news was that you were taking a break from ANY blog entries!! I really enjoy reading your blog. btw,did you ever get a chance to watch the spoof on the Bachelor series?? Called Burning Love-- real actors, the bachelor actor is the funniest. oh, and Chris Harrison role very funny! At least give it a chance. There are 12 episodes-about 15 min. The 1st one shows the absurdity of it all in a nutshell! The actresses get out of the limo and try to intro selves to him. One is funnier than the next!!(with the exception of the "bottom-less" woman who was blurred out-my husband and I fast-forward that part)but the homeless woman that said the mansion looked so warm and cozy and darted in the house mid-sentence to the stalker girl who recited his social security number in her greeting. You HAVE to check it out! I know you will appreciate the satire and wit because of your talented humorous writing! Have fun watching Bach Pad tonite! Thanks for the laughs! God Bless, Kelly Turk (Dolphin Bay Elementary School)

  9. I'm so happy she picked Jef! He was my favorite from the minute he arrived on that skateboard! And they genuinely seemed happy together, which of course means nothing as far as the stay-together Bachelor/Bachelorette statistics go! I mean, I actually though Ali and Roberto were really going to make it!! She did the same thing as Emily...sent the other guy packing before the date even started. As for Bachelor Pad, I'll be watching. You deserve a break, but you'll be missed!

  10. I watched Big Brother and I couldn't get past the guy wearing the same shirt that Ryan was wearing, but in Pink! It made him look like he had manboobs.

  11. I love Bravo too! I have given you an award! Hop over to follow me and claim it!

    Hoppin in First Grade

  12. I can't believe you have to start school so early....or is it we are just starting late this year? I'm glad I have a bit more time. I still have a trip to Portland for a wedding and this blog thing to figure out.

    Terri Izatt

  13. You crack me up! That is all.


  14. Hi there!

    I hope you can join me in my first ever Linky Party on "Preparing for School" over at {6th Grade} All-Stars

    Hope to see you there!

    Mrs. Crouse :)

  15. You are funny. I love your commentaries and am perfectly fine with you passing on the weekly Bachelor Pad postings.
    I DO, however have to correct you on something in part of your post.....I did not notice Emily's mother's voice or lack of wrinkles- I was out of the room. BUT, to set the record straight, a mother with a grown up daughter and a granddaughter with no wrinkles can REALLY happen. I am a mother with 3 grown up children (25, 27, & 30!) and 5 grandchildren (almost 8, 6, almost 4, 3, & 1), and I don't have wrinkles (or gray hair for that matter)- ok, maybe being 48 (49 in 6 days) has something to do with no wrinkles, or maybe it was because my mama didn't have wrinkles for a long time...Remember, it CAN happen :)
    Enjoy your time in Vegas!!!

    Shar W

  16. I told you I was an Arie fan all along. He is a cutie so I did feel sorry for him. I thought he expressed himself very well on the Fianal Rose show. But I do think Jef was the right choice. He made Emily laugh and that's so important! Isn't it weird how Emily looked just like her mom and the brother looked just like the dad. That mom has one good plastic surgeon. I am not watching the Bachelor Pad, but I will continue to read your posts that's for sure!

    Have fun with your sister!

    Cialini Chat

  17. I just found your blog. I'm your newest follower! Can I just say I think you are hilarious. I love your humor. I totally agree with your post. I watched the Bachelorette season finale and I think you nailed it. I also love your gold tags! Great idea!
    The Hive

  18. bahahah! okay, it's sad to admit this, but I was 3, I repeat 3, blog posts behind!!! {let's not talk about the fact that I'm really selfish and was able to publish 5 posts on my blog}. Anyway, I almost died when you wrote that you are still with your high school boyfriends!! I laughed SO hard. Good thing its 12:30 in the morning...

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