10/24/12

Parent Conferences - No, You Didn't!

Hello, how are ya, whatcha up to, I'm finished with all of my conferences!

Hooray!

Tomorrow looks bright, and sunny, and easy, and the kids go home at 12:30.  I can't believe it.

I have high hopes of . . . I think I'm going to work on . . . maybe I'll organize my . . . 

Who am I kidding?  

I'm going out to lunch!

(Actually, that's not true, and you didn't hear it here, and we're probably doing that on Friday, not Thursday, anyhow.)

In any case, I'm all finished.

But I barely made it out alive yesterday.

Wanna know why?

Huh?  Do ya?

Okay.  Listen to this.

I probably had the worst conference in my entire 16 year career.

I can't go into all the details.

But.

Here's the deal.

I could not crack this mom.  She was as cold as ice.  Hard.  Sharp.  No soft edges.  

Grumpy Gus, if you will.

Her child is high.  Smart.  Brilliant.  Well behaved.

I was singing all his praises and bluebirds were joining in, and puppies were playing and their puppy-smell was intoxicating and and and and and . . . 

Nothing.

Nada.

Zip.

Zilch.

I was sweating.  Bending over backward is hard work, people.  And I got a crick in my neck.

I was happy when it was almost over.  I could see the finish line. 

And then.

Listen to this.

Just listen.

Everyone, be quiet!

LISTEN!

She said, and I quote, "My child hates Junie B.  When will you be done?"

I know.

Let's all just sit for a minute and let that sink in.

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That's my heart pounding.  From the back bending and the shock.

I said, "Excuse me?"  

I said, "Who do you think you are?"  

I said, "Those words are fightin' words!"

I said, "Security!  Escort her out now!"

I said nothing.

Cleared my throat.

"Um, well," I stammered.  "Your child seems to enjoy Junie B. when I'm reading.  Your child laughs all the time."

She said, "Can't you read Captain Underpants or something?"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Well, um . . . see, the thing is . . . well," I articulately replied.

She said, "Or Magic Tree House?  They're soooo educational."

I have no idea what I said.  Something along the lines of I read Junie B. the last five minutes of the day and I don't want to educate anymore because I'm super tired and it's almost my nap time.  And I'm hungry.

So I basically said nothing and then she left.  I think she got the best of me, people.   Waaaaa.

I held my Junie B. doll and rocked her because the poor little dear heard the whole thing.  I ran right next door and vented to my partner.  She was up in arms for me.  (She is a good friend.  We see eye to eye all the time.  We are right.  Everyone else is wrong.  It's a very good partnership.)

I don't know what your take on Junie B. is, but here's my take.

1.  She's funny!
2.  She makes poor choices and we talk about the choices she should have made.  And she's funny.
3.  I have a special Junie B. voice that I use when I read.  The kids want to know how I sound like her.  
4.  Junie B. makes them want to read!  They buy the books, borrow the books, whatever, they bring the books to school and follow along while I read!  They want to get to the AR shelf that holds the Junie B. books!
5.  She's funny!

And, anyways, I thought the parent conference was supposed to be about the child and how their child is doing, and not about what they hate in my class when they pretend to like things, and would never say that to my face in a million years.  A million years!

And, really, Junie B. is like a kid in our class!  Now I have to call her mom and let her know what's going on.

My hubby told me not to give it another thought.  Not one more thought, Kristin.  

He thinks my thoughts can be controlled.  Ha!

You'd think he'd know me by now, but apparently not.

I can rest easy, though, because my other families were warm, fuzzy, and they brought me gifts!

Yes!  One parent brought me a Chanel lip gloss.

CHANEL.

She said I could exchange the color, but I like the color.  It's basically a natural lip color and just shows up shiny.  I will be sad when it's gone because I'm assuming a Chanel lip gloss costs about a thousand dollars.

And, not to brag, but another parent brought me honey.  As in, "Thank you for BEE-ing my child's teacher."

And also, not to brag any further, but another parent brought me two whole reams of copy paper.

Cha-ching!

So it's really all okay.  I think.  I don't know.  I can't stop thinking about it.  (Hubby doesn't know I'm still thinking about it, though, so nobody tell him.) 

On a different note, I want to introduce a new bloggy friend!  Her name is Amy and her blog is "Little Miss Organized".  She is SUPER SWEET and leaves me the nicest comments and emails.

Check out her new blog and be sure to follow her - it's really adorable!  She has great ideas, too!



So . . . there you have it.

And, just for the record, I'm never finished with Junie B.  I have never been able to read the whole series in a school year.

So there!!!!!!!!

26 comments:

  1. Oh dear Kristin...as I always say to my teaching partners....it is a world gone
    mad!!!! I am just like you that I dwell on the crazy comments, not the honey and gloss. One year we couldn't do Arthur because he scared a child, seriously. You did make me laugh !

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  2. Isn't that the truth?! We can hear a million good things, but if one critical thing comes our way, that's all we can think about! I'm with your hubby...not one more thought about that! Buuutttt, who am I kidding? I wouldn't be able to stop either, so I can't blame you one bit! :)

    And, for the record, I've never found a child who didn't l-o-v-e Junie B., so keep plugging away!

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  3. That's just wrong! Junie B. is a rock star. Period. End of story. What's next? We don't like Pete the Cat?!

    By the way... I have a Junie B. voice too. Most fun read alouds, by far!

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  4. I'll bet it's the parent that doesn't like Junie B. and it's convenient to say the kid doesn't... Sounds far more likely...

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  5. A thousand thanks to you my sweet friend, for the shout out!! I LOVE Junie B., and can't wait to read her new Thanksgiving one!! I always tell my kiddos, "That cute little kindergartner. She needs to learn her behaviors!!" I also read her aloud, with a voice. I tell her stories at my dinner table!
    Thanks for everything!
    Amy Howbert

    Little Miss Organized
    amyhowbert1@gmail.com

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  6. I have yet to meet a first grader who doesn't love Junie B. Jones. My only issue was from a parent about 10 years ago. Her son was the male version in my room every. single. day. of. first. grade. YET he was not allowed to check out JB books...because she didn't reflect their values or teach appropriate behavior. WHAT????? Had she met the boy she was sending to me 5 days a week?
    I do "edit" as I read to avoid hyperventilation as they gasp at the words dumb or stupid.
    It's so much easier to remember the parents and situations that bring you down.
    Chanel, honey and PAPER? Enjoy!

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  7. Lucky you to be done with your conferences! We have ours tomorrow from 1-8 with an hour lunch.

    Why do parents feel they need to bring us down.

    I say focus on the Chanel, honey and paper!!!!

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  8. 1. I am jealous you are done.
    2. I am SUPER jealous they bring you gifts!!
    3. Junie B is hysterical and my fav read aloud!I once read it as part of my principal observation!!!
    4. I agree with your hubbie. You can't worry about people like that.
    Jenn
    Finally in First

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  9. Loved your post :) Needed a smile so thanks. But I am super jealous about the lip gloss

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  10. Several years ago, I had a parent who did not like the books also. Oh she complained constantly, I kept reading. She complained to the principal, I kept reading. I bought the kids each a Junie B book for Christmas(do it every year) and she really complained then. I still kept reading.

    I read the entire collection, in order, every year. On the first day of school I begin with book 1 of Junie B. I read two chapters every day. One chapter in the morning, we call that our breakfast chapter. One chapter afternoon, we call that dessert. We love our friend Junie B. In fact that is what I say most days when I pick up the book. "Let's see about our friend Junie B." Even my kids say it as I am about to read. I too have my Junie B. voice. ***Going to brag a bit.*** I have been told, on several occasions, that if a movie was ever made, I should play her. Fine, they were all 7 year olds who said this, but still. Like you, we talk about the choices she makes. We laugh. We talk how we would never do such things in second grade.(I cross my fingers and hope it is true...) We feel like she is an actually member of our class and we laugh.

    I do not like when I have a sub who gets to read the last chapter or starts the next book. The kids have asked me to re-read because "the sub read it wrong, she did not sound anything like Junie B." I like when they say that. Keep reading~

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  11. I LOVE Junie B. too! Hooray for no more conferences and the lip gloss! Read on girl!
    Kimberly
    Funky First Grade Fun

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  12. What!?! No Junie B. Love me some Junie B!!!
    Ignore her. By the way, super jealous that you get gifts during conferences. That's amazing!

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  13. I would read Junie B. 'til the cows came home....I might even read it for TEN minutes every day instead of five.

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  14. Congrats on being done....Doesn't like Junie?...Gifts? What the crap? I don't even get gifts on my bday or for the end of the year!

    Listen, I will stop reading Junie if they'll bring me gifts!!
    Jennifer
    First Grade Blue SKies

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  15. It's amazing how one parent can throw you for a loop.

    I have to wonder if the child really doesn't like the stories or of it's a grumpy mom who is using her child to air HER feelings. I've never met a child who doesn't love Junie B. Jones...hum... just wondering.....

    Cindy
    Granny Goes to School

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  16. Holy cow! That mom has issues! She doesn't want Junie B. but she wants Captain Underpants? What??

    Your post made me laugh...and feel bad for you...but also happy that you get gifts! So jealous!! Enjoy your lunch! :)

    Laurie
    MorningSunFirstGrade

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  17. GASP!!! Hates Junie B? Who hates Junie B? I too have ALL of the Junie B books and when I saw there was a new Thanksgiving book I yelled with excitement and ordered it immediately. I also use a special voice. :) And I would have rocked my doll too if she heard such blasphemy!

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  18. Oh.My.Goodness who could ever hate Junie B! That is going to start a world war 3 in the classroom. Junie B is the funniest character ever and I can just imagine you do the best voice ever of her! Can you record yourself reading Junie B? I would die of happiness! And if Junie B is so bad then Captain Underpants should obviously be your number one choice as a role model! Let me know if you need to form a backup team with pitchforks to take down the Junie B haters of the world. I'll be right there in a jiffy!

    Pixy Stix and Teacher Tricks

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  19. Ok. I don't like junie b. I think it's a first grade thing? Luckily all the first grade teachers read them so I read other stuff! HOWEVER what parent says that?! Sheesh! I wouldn't think about and just make fun of her. Weird
    And yes. The kids do love them and want to read them. I just cannot handle how she talks! Now the BFG on the other hand is my kinda guy!
    Rachel

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  20. You get Chanel, I get Dollar Tree! Seriously. I always dwell on the bad, crazy or mean. Just my personality. I did get a rose today:)

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  21. I love Junie B and. probably more importantly, my class LOVES Junie B for all the reasons you stated. I do voices and we talk about everything which reminds the kiddos of everything else they want to talk about - it's probably the most fun time we have in school reading about Junie B - okay, maybe not - but somedays it is!

    That's a "her" problem, not a "you" problem. You are wonderful! Thanks and enjoy any gift you get, but Chanel sure is nice!

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  22. I love Junie B! My kids love Junie B. They love to listen to her books (girls and boys) and they go to the library and rent the books and want to read them even if they can't just yet. I also think Junie B is funny. A girl in my class last year said her mom didn't like her listening to Junie B because she was sassy, but I still read them anyway. Alohaha is probably my favorite especially when she is on the plane haha. I'm super excited to read her new Thanksgiving book! I'm also jealous of your gifts during your conferences.

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  23. There's a problem with Junie B. but not Captain Underpants? Puh-leaze!

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  24. Love Junie B.! Just started reading it with my K kiddos and they laugh, giggle, and g-a-s-p. Junie B. is a classic...like Moby Dick, Wuthering Heights, Skippyjohn Jones! I mean...really???? That just goes against ALL that is good and right!

    Just finished up 18 conferences...scored some homemade...from scratch... pumpkin bread with some crunchy goodie something or other on top!

    AND...Mimi (The bearer of the bread) said I get to go to heaven just for being a teacher! She took 5 of my kiddos home for a tea party birthday bash...and well...let's just say the evening ended with glass of wine as big as your arm!

    So yay for me...pumpkin bread and heaven! Not too shabby...not too shabby!

    Love reading your blog! Makes me happy, happy, happy!

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  25. I'm so glad you love Junie B. as much as I do! I know teachers who won't read it because she says "stupid" or they replace the word. I always read it and then gasp along with my class. I can't through them either and I'm already behind this year. I'm still reading the Columbus one and need to start and finish the Halloween one by Wednesday! I have four more conferences tomorrow morning and a few ELL ones in a week but I can get through them because I scored free Portland Timbers VS San Jose Earthquake tickets this Saturday from one of my dads. He has a killer Scottish accent too so I'm kinda enamored with him. Sorry, had to brag a little.

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  26. Some people you just can't please no matter how hard you work, inspire the kids or instil in them a love of reading. Just 'keep on keeping on'! And who doesn't love Junie B. anyway? That's just plain wrong! (shaking head) Unbelievable!!

    Kylie
    Down Under Teacher

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