2/26/13

Talk About It Tuesday

Hey there.  It's Tuesday.  Are you ready to talk because I sure am.

First, let me just preface this post by saying that there really wasn't enough drama going on in this episode.  Everyone is in love, everyone is on their best behavior.  It's practically a Barney episode.   

The episode starts with Sean reflecting about the remaining three girls.  None of which are Desiree, by the way.  Grrrrr.  In a nutshell, Sean basically said:

Catherine is weird, nerdy, and goofy.
He and AshLee have the strongest connection.
The spark for Lindsay has grown into a massive flame.
He misses Desiree.

1.  Lindsay

Sean and Lindsay went to an outdoor Thailand market.  There was a little bit of foreshadowing when Sean asked her if she was adventurous with food . . . I knew right away what was about to transpire.  And, sure enough, Sean wanted her to eat bugs.  And, folks, they ate TWO.  

Then Sean and Lindsay fed some monkeys.  Luckily, they didn't eat any.  I was a little worried there for a second.  Sean and Lindsay later had dinner in front of traditional Taiwanese floats.  Lindsay said everything is open for her and she would be ready to move to Dallas.  Justlikethat.  (That impressed me because, for example, every time I had to move as a child I put up some kind of a fight.  I mean, really.  I get attached to people and places.  Call me crazy.)  

Sean and Lindsay decided to stay in the fantasy suite.  And for all you people with your minds in the gutter, I have read between the lines and I want you to know that Sean just wanted MORE TIME AWAY FROM THE CAMERAS with each woman -- he is not a player.  Nope.   

BIG SIGH.  Lindsay finally told Sean that she loved him.  And all Sean could say was . . . well, nothing, because he's not allowed.

2.  AshLee
Sean made Ashlee swim through a cave to get to a private beach.  She was very concerned about the availability of a floatie even though Sean continued to tell her that she just had to hang onto him.  Hello?  Done.  Give me a high five and call me Velcro.

AshLee continued to make parallels and metaphors and similes and used all sorts of words to basically say that she was freaked out and is just so totally in love. 

Um.  I don't know about you, but I think she needed to calm the heck down.  Relax already.  Smell the soup.  You love Sean.  We get it.  Now stop acting crazy.

The swim through the cave was so nerve wracking.  I honestly thought they might not make it.  I was on pins and needles the whole time.  

But they did.  Phew.  Talk about a nail biter.

When Sean pulled out the Overnight Fantasy We Won't Do Anything That Teeny Wouldn't Do Because We Just Want More Time To Talk And Sean Is A Nice Guy Suite, he confirmed and validated my theory.  He is NOT a player.  

It's clear as day.  Right?

AshLee then told Sean the cut of diamond she likes and her ring size.  Okaaaay.  (This kind of reminded me of the time one of my friends was interviewed for a teaching position, and when the principal asked her if she had any questions, she said, "Yes.  Which classroom is mine?"  And yes, it was a FRIEND.  Not me.)

But then she got hired so maybe this might work for AshLee? 

3.  Catherine
There were no bugs or caves.  Just sail boating and snorkeling.  There was lots of conversation and talk about commitment issues.
Like, lots.  Lots and lots of talking.  

I thought I could talk, but Catherine might have me beat.

Again, there were no Fantasy Suite issues -- just two innocent kids staying up all night talking.  No hanky panky business going on at all.  I'm sure of it.

Sean watched the video messages that the girls made for him.

Lindsay's was cute.
Catherine's was a lot of talking.
AshLee's was a metaphor about a wall and Berlin.  Or maybe not Berlin?  I don't know.  I stopped listening when she started crying.  Get ahold of yourself, I said.  You've known Sean for how long?  Sean needs to think about AshLee in the future.

IN THE FUTURE
Sean:  Do you want to bungee jump or skydive tonight?
AshLee:  Well, (beginning to cry) I have this wall and I don't know how to get down from it or over it or past it (tears) and I'm scared so you might have to talk me into it (more tears) because this is really hard for me. (sniff sniff) I don't know why I'm crying.  I said I wouldn't cry between 3 and 4:00 today.  Are you sure we have to do either one?  Can't we just stay home (sniff) and I will stare adoringly up at you?

BACK TO THE PRESENT:
Sean stood there looking a little awkward.  I wished he would have put his hands in his pockets.  Just saying.

Cut to the Rose Ceremony.

He let AshLee go after about ten loooong minutes of stares and sighs and grimaces on everyone's part.  It was THE WORST EDITING OF ALL MANKIND.  It was worse than Ryan Seacrest on American Idol.  I don't know why they didn't dim the lights.  It was that bad.  

AshLee tried to be all tough and not allow Sean to talk to her.  "Just stay here," she said.

And then, for the first time, she did NOT cry in front of him.  

Did you hear the horror movie soundtrack playing in the background, too, or was that just me?  EEEEE -- EEEEE -- EEEE!  Yikes.  Sean needs to watch his back, I think.

AshLee finally broke down and hid her face from the camera and, for once, we couldn't see her cry.

Poor AshLee.

Girls Tell All is next week.  And then we have the finale the week after that.  The previews TRULY looked like the MOST DRAMATIC SEASON FINALE EVER.

Who thinks that letter is from AshLee?  Or Desiree?

13 comments:

  1. I was at McDonald's this morning and many older people were having coffee next to me. One older guy says, "Did you guys watch The Bachelor last night? Everyone said no. My ears perked up! He said...you guys don't know what you are missing. There is a lot of smooching going on there! I am happy I watched it because it was funny listening to him recap the show. Then...I couldn't wait to hear your version! Soooo much more entertaining! Amber ~ Kindergarten Rocks Blog

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  2. I really am glad he let AshLee go. He made the comment as they were going into the cave that he didn't know about her control issues and how that might work out in the cave. . . Then when she told him to Stay Here. . . like she was talking to a dog, I thought, he had made the right decision. She IS a control freak. Look how she even controlled herself in the limo and took control of NOT being seen on TV crying! Best choice ev ah, Sean!
    Patty

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  3. So happy that Ashlee went home!! If she talked about being abandoned one more time... Sheesh!! And a friend of mine had a fantastic prediction: the note is from Sean's mom!!!!! Abc is tryin to pull one over again!!!!

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  4. "IN THE FUTURE
    Sean: Do you want to bungee jump or skydive tonight?" bahahahha!!! because we SO know that would happen! I want to watch the finale with you!! how fun would that be?!

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  5. I also think the note is from his mom. She seemed pretty emotional on the promo! I am also glad that he sent AshLee home. I didn't want him to pick her in the end. Sean seemed so torn up about having to do it. I know he must have felt horrible after seeing her teary final message. Right now I am pulling for Lindsey :)

    ~Christy
    Mrs. Holder’s First Grade

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  6. Love your posts! I live in Thailand and would like to say that you never know what you're eating here. Possibly could have been monkey. :)

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  7. Yay for Lindsay! She can sub in Dallas, no problem!
    And don't forget to invite me to you and Hadar's little finale watching party. I'll just hop across the pond :)
    Nicole
    Teaching With Style

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  8. I'm watching this season with my 14 year-old daughter. Bonding over The Bachelor!

    I knew Sean would send AshLee home when she said, "You make me whole." I mean, what guy needs that kind of responsibility? He's made it pretty clear that he likes to LAUGH!

    If the letter is from one of the final two, I think it's from Catherine. But the prediction that it's from Sean's mom is a brilliant idea!

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  9. I think the letter is from Sean's mom, too. However, wouldn't it be fun if it were from EMILY? I just love reality drama!

    Wendy
    Read with Me ABC

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  10. I just laughed through your entire post! You are a riot! I love the Bachelor and have been watching it faithfully! Ashlee has been WAY too serious, has she ever laughed or cracked a joke? All she talks about is how they are each others soul mates...paaaahlease! Anyways, I think the letter could be from Des! Or his mother... We shall have to see!! Eeeeeek!

    TeachingIsLove

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  11. WHY oh WHY did he ever let Des go?!? I HOPE THE LETTER IS FROM HER!!! That is a great idea! You should direct or produce these shows! I was pulling for AshLee too until this last episode and then she got really annoying...really fast. I wish they would skip the women tell all and get to the good stuff!

    Alyse
    Keep Calm and Apple On

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  12. Your posts are far more entertaining that the actual show... just sayin'.

    I think there is more going on in his relationship with Catherine than they actually show. Creative editing? idk.

    I agree with Hadar, watching the finale with you would be fabulous! {and way more entertaining than watching it with my dogs! ;P }

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  13. I have told you before how much I LOVE your posts but as I live in Australia, I have to quickly delete your talk about it posts before I read anything! You see, I have to wait at least a day before I can view the latest episode here! But never fear, I soon find your blog and catch up on what you thought. I ADORE YOUR BLOG!!!!

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