HOORAY HOORAY HOORAY, IT’S SATURDAY!
No picture for this one.
Can’t have a picture for this one.
I did an Instagram Story all about this so if you caught that, you pretty much know what I’m going to say below.
Last week, I had a mammogram. A regular ole annual mammogram.
SQUISH. SQUASH. OW. HOLD BREATH. REPEAT.
And then a few days later, I got a phone call that I had to go back.
I tend to go to doctor appointments in which I always need a follow up for some such thing or another. I can never seem to cross something off my list without adding a follow up to it first.
It’s a thing.
I went back on Tuesday, and after another mammogram, and then an ultrasound, I learned that all is fine and I just have cysts AGAIN. Or Still. Or I don’t know. But all is well!
EXCEPT THAT I AM TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW, THE SECOND MAMMOGRAM WAS NO JOKE.
This lady was serious about her job and she took it seriously and she seriously flattened my practically non-existent left boob into smithereens.
I honestly can’t believe it “bounced back”. Yet, it did.
You know when you have papers or a rug or a book that keeps flapping up? So you stack stuff on top of it to weigh it down so that it won’t flap back up? And, sometimes, you don’t put enough weight on it and it does flap back up again and you have to start the process all over again?
Well, this lady was NOT going to have anything flapping back up if she could help it.
It was like she was in a contest and she was going to WIN, come heck or high-water or Mammogram Merit Award or something!
The machine moved automatically to do the squishing so I was squished pretty darn good, there was no denying that the machine was doing its job, and then the lady would MANUALLY TURN A DIAL TO SQUISH IT MORE.
SQUEAK SQUEAK SQUEAK went the dial. TURN TURN TURN went the dial.
And, even though I felt like passing out, or crumpling down into a puddle on the floor, there was no way I could have, I might as well have just lifted my feet off the floor, it’s not like I would have gone anywhere, I would have just been suspended in midair, dangling by one smaller-than-small, teeny tiny, practically just my chest cavity, some say boob being smashed to smithereens.
But it’s not like I said one word. Nope. Not me.
Tough like Thor.
If that doesn’t make you want to go get your mammogram, then I don’t know what does.
I am so happy that I have siblings.
I have two sisters (my older sister, Lisa, and my twin sister, Kerry) and a younger brother, Jason.
We don’t get to spend a lot of time all together but, when we do, we laugh a lot. We give each other a hard time, we are sarcastic, sometimes we are ruthless (nobody is going to be as honest with you as a sibling), but mostly we laugh a lot.
This week, we were in a group text about Christmas present ideas for my parents. And then it kind of went by the wayside because Jason texted something a little confusing because he didn’t use any commas.
And I don’t really know if you’ll find this as funny as I did because maybe it’s just a sibling thing with my siblings and me, but here’s the following group text:
I don’t know? Just me?
Because I am dying laughing again!!
Anyways, do you guys have siblings? We really had a great time growing up together and did some extremely cheesy things that no one would understand ever, but hey, we were kids. For example, we really really really wanted a van.
A big ole van. The kind with the couch in the back that turns into a bed.
Why? I HAVE NO CLUE.
But we wanted one so bad and we would “play van”.
How? you ask. HOW DOES ONE PLAY VAN?
Well, you get four dining room chairs and set them up in front of your couch in the family room, and then you pretend to drive around and pick up your friends.
You pretend that your mom’s station wagon IS A VAN and then you only get in on ONE SIDE (because back then, vans did not have sliding doors on both sides).
So that is what we did FOR AT LEAST A YEAR. We would only get in the station wagon ON ONE SIDE.
When we were all teenagers and starting to drive, my parents got us that big ole brown and tan van, and that’s what we had to drive!!!! WHICH WE HATED.
And which I wrecked right away, too, by the way.
So be careful what you pretend, is what I always say.
Somebody read this and then let’s talk about it because I read it in one day and I fell in love. And I think I’m going to be rereading it over Christmas break.
Elizabeth Berg is one of my absolute favorite authors, and I have read every single one of her books, and if you have never read any of her books, then I am super jealous of you because you get to read them for the first time.
You will love Arthur Truluv. He is just the sweetest man and you will want to be his friend!!!!
I just started Girl in the Blue Coat by Monica Hesse and I am already sucked in!!! So I am pretty sure I recommend that book as well for reading during your break.
I have read a ton of other books (I read on my Kindle when I kick the ball for Murphie in the backyard, and let’s just say that I kick the ball for Murphie A LOT) but nothing that has made me want to tell you about them.
But, just in case you were wondering, here is what I’ve read recently:
I also can’t really go to sleep until I’ve read a chapter or two of a book.
I am a HUGE book nerd.
I’m sort of on Good Reads, but not really, and I’m not sure how all that works. If you can help me out with some Good Read tips and what I should be doing, let me know!! 🙂 THANK YOU!
I still have five more school days until I go on break. I believe I have
complained moaned griped mentioned this before. I pretty much stayed true to our schedule, our curriculum, our everything this past week. I am going to bring on the crafting, YouTube crackling fire, Polar Express, pajama day, Kindness Elf, etc this coming week.
But in the interest of keeping my kids AS NORMAL AS POSSIBLE (which proved to be sort of hard as we had a lot of playground behaviors and three students actually LIED TO ME and I’m like, hello? Do you NOT think Santa is watching?) we did regular ole school stuff.
We have been working really hard on digraphs. Benchmark Advance hits Digraphs hard in Unit 4 and they kind of break it up throughout the three weeks and I’m here to say, I like that.
I won’t talk about the spelling words for 4-3 which included “squid” and some other words that I could care less if my kids spelled right or wrong. Nope. I won’t talk about that or how I said we were not taking a spelling test on those words, everyone tell your parents that Mrs. Oldham doesn’t like this week’s words so there will be no spelling test.
Here are some of the ways we practiced digraphs SUPPLEMENTALLY.
I love this little cut and paste activity because it really makes the kids THINK. They have to “read” the picture and then “listen” for the digraph sound. I’ve shared it before, and it’s a freebie, so be sure to grab it!
Listen and Learn! I’m telling you, whether I have these in centers or we complete an activity whole class, my kids LOVE IT. I have no idea why because IT IS ME TALKING, and THEY GET ME LIVE AND IN PERSON EVERY DAY, but they literally cheer every time. I’m not exaggerating or tooting my own horn even though it sounds like that which is kind of gross so I apologize. They cheer and say things like I love Listen and Learn! or This is my favorite! And some others say Is it really Mrs. Oldham? I don’t think it is EVEN THOUGH I AM TELLING THEM THAT IT IS ME AND IT IS.
Write the Room is HUGE in my room. This class seems to love it in particular because I took it away the last round of centers, and now that we began a new round, I put it back and THEY WENT WILD. They especially love when I “hide” the cards on the ceiling. I am running out of hiding spots, but they don’t care at all. They just love using clip boards and walking around the room being “detectives”.
I knew I was old.
Believe me, I feel it.
But I didn’t know I was an old man.
Maybe I need to get new make-up or start wearing lipstick or something instead of Blistek which I am addicted to.
Here’s the deal.
I get called OLDMAN all the time. MORE THAN I CARE TO.
This is another reason I do not like my married name. Steve doesn’t like it either, and sometimes we fantasize about changing it, and we come up with SOME PRETTY GOOD NAMES, if I do say so myself.
My teammate’s last name ends in Man. It’s —-man. I don’t want to write the whole thing just in case she doesn’t want me to. So oftentimes, our names get combined. On my end, not hers. She is never called Oldman. Just me.
Way back when we used to have Recess Duty (we do not anymore due to a hiring freeze, furlough days, pay cut, blah blah blah, and our union negotiated that for us in return), there was a week where I couldn’t find my name on the schedule. But Oldman was on the schedule.
I went to the school secretary and I said So some old man is going to do recess duty for me?
I just crack myself up sometimes.
Anyways, that card up above is from a former parent and was in my box at school, and I just got a big kick out of it.
If you can’t beat’em, join’em.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!