Hello, how are ya, whatcha up to, I’m finished with all of my conferences!
Tomorrow looks bright, and sunny, and easy, and the kids go home at 12:30. I can’t believe it.
I have high hopes of . . . I think I’m going to work on . . . maybe I’ll organize my . . .
Who am I kidding?
I’m going out to lunch!
(Actually, that’s not true, and you didn’t hear it here, and we’re probably doing that on Friday, not Thursday, anyhow.)
In any case, I’m all finished.
But I barely made it out alive yesterday.
Wanna know why?
Huh? Do ya?
Okay. Listen to this.
I probably had the worst conference in my entire 16 year career.
I can’t go into all the details.
Here’s the deal.
I could not crack this mom. She was as cold as ice. Hard. Sharp. No soft edges.
Grumpy Gus, if you will.
Her child is high. Smart. Brilliant. Well behaved.
I was singing all his praises and bluebirds were joining in, and puppies were playing and their puppy-smell was intoxicating and and and and and . . .
I was sweating. Bending over backward is hard work, people. And I got a crick in my neck.
I was happy when it was almost over. I could see the finish line.
Listen to this.
Everyone, be quiet!
She said, and I quote, “My child hates Junie B. When will you be done?”
Let’s all just sit for a minute and let that sink in.
That’s my heart pounding. From the back bending and the shock.
I said, “
I said, “
Who do you think you are?”
I said, “
Those words are fightin’ words!”
I said, “
Security! Escort her out now!”
I said nothing.
Cleared my throat.
“Um, well,” I stammered. “Your child seems to enjoy Junie B. when I’m reading. Your child laughs all the time.”
She said, “Can’t you read Captain Underpants or something?”
“Well, um . . . see, the thing is . . . well,” I articulately replied.
She said, “Or Magic Tree House? They’re soooo educational.”
I have no idea what I said. Something along the lines of I read Junie B. the last five minutes of the day and I don’t want to educate anymore because I’m super tired and it’s almost my nap time. And I’m hungry.
So I basically said nothing and then she left. I think she got the best of me, people. Waaaaa.
I held my Junie B. doll and rocked her because the poor little dear heard the whole thing. I ran right next door and vented to my partner. She was up in arms for me. (She is a good friend. We see eye to eye all the time. We are right. Everyone else is wrong. It’s a very good partnership.)
I don’t know what your take on Junie B. is, but here’s my take.
1. She’s funny!
2. She makes poor choices and we talk about the choices she should have made. And she’s funny.
3. I have a special Junie B. voice that I use when I read. The kids want to know how I sound like her.
4. Junie B. makes them want to read! They buy the books, borrow the books, whatever, they bring the books to school and follow along while I read! They want to get to the AR shelf that holds the Junie B. books!
5. She’s funny!
And, anyways, I thought the parent conference was supposed to be about the child and how their child is doing, and not about what they hate in my class when they pretend to like things, and would never say that to my face in a million years. A million years!
And, really, Junie B. is like a kid in our class! Now I have to call her mom and let her know what’s going on.
My hubby told me not to give it another thought. Not one more thought, Kristin.
He thinks my thoughts can be controlled. Ha!
You’d think he’d know me by now, but apparently not.
I can rest easy, though, because my other families were warm, fuzzy, and they brought me gifts!
Yes! One parent brought me a Chanel lip gloss.
She said I could exchange the color, but I like the color. It’s basically a natural lip color and just shows up shiny. I will be sad when it’s gone because I’m assuming a Chanel lip gloss costs about a thousand dollars.
And, not to brag, but another parent brought me honey. As in, “Thank you for BEE-ing my child’s teacher.”
And also, not to brag any further, but another parent brought me two whole reams of copy paper.
So it’s really all okay. I think. I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about it. (Hubby doesn’t know I’m still thinking about it, though, so nobody tell him.)
On a different note, I want to introduce a new bloggy friend! Her name is Amy and her blog is “Little Miss Organized”. She is SUPER SWEET and leaves me the nicest comments and emails.
Check out her new blog and be sure to follow her – it’s really adorable! She has great ideas, too!
So . . . there you have it.
And, just for the record, I’m never finished with Junie B. I have never been able to read the whole series in a school year.