What a day.
I knew you’d ask.
I had a fine day. It was fine. We did school stuff. You know. This, that, the other. I don’t really remember.
Our entire school is in STATE TESTING MODE. Except for kinder and first. We’re exempt. No one seems to care when our District Testing rolls around with the Student Responder Nightmare Scenario . . . but we’re all supposed to be there for everyone else.
And I’m there. Of course. I’m in. I’m happy it’s not me, I can tell you that. All that mumbo jumbo of all words, pictures, symbols, numbers, etc. must be covered up. Desks have to be in rows. We even got an urgent email today repeating that desks need to be four feet apart from the center of one desk to the center of the other . . . which means from corner to corner, there has to be twenty-four inches. At first, I thought it was a math test prep question (and I didn’t know the answer), but it was actually serious. Geesh. Yuck. My desks are still in table groups because I am exempt. And I’m not sure what I would do without all of the chit chat that is the soundtrack of my life, anyway. Table groups it is.
So, anyway, there’s that.
Then, I got a phone call from the doctor’s office that I am supposed to go to tomorrow. And since I disclose EVERYTHING on here, I might as well tell you.
Don’t freak out.
I had a mammogram.
I know!!! I am WAY TOO YOUNG to have one. Or I look too young to have one. Or surely not! (I’ll take whatever compliment you want to give me.) But, as you know, I’m special. We’ve talked about this before. I do not have normalcy when it comes to my body and the parts therein.
This was my third mammogram. And they are always inconclusive.
I have what they like to call . . . ahem. Cough. Sputter. Dense Breast Tissue.
Let’s just say this . . . they may be tiny but they are mighty.
So . . . this means I have to have an ultrasound.
I’m going to write that again with a little more enthusiasm.
I get to have an ultrasound!!! AGAIN! I can’t wait!
My mammogram was back in February. I’ve been waiting for the ultrasound since then. I made plans. Got a sub. For the whole day because the appointment is smack dab in the middle of the day so I can’t take a half day. But I used my noggin. I will be near my hair stylist’s so I thought I’d kill one bird with two stones (I really don’t like birds, but I don’t think I would kill one with stones. Or rocks. Or a gun. I would just run screaming the other way.) I was ALL SET to be off tomorrow.
You know where this is going, right?
I got a phone call today. The message said my appointment is cancelled because there will be no doctors there. And the next available appointment is at the end of May. Please call back.
I couldn’t call back. I was
taking away a lego from a kid teaching an amazing lesson.
Meanwhile, I got another phone call.
This message was confirming my appointment for tomorrow.
I felt annoyed. But I wanted to react calmly. Nicely. I mean, whoever was answering the phone was not at fault. They don’t know that I am a teacher and I got a sub and made a hair appointment and rearranged my tutoring and I have dark roots and I wanted to sleep in and I worked all five days last week and I wanted to stay up late and I told Sydney I would be home with her in the morning and and and . . .
I explained the “situation” to the scheduler. She repeated that yes, the appointment is cancelled, and yes, the next appointment isn’t until the end of May.
This could only mean one thing. So I said what I was thinking.
“Obviously, whatever you saw on my mammogram back in February is nothing. Right? It’s okay to put this off until the end of May because it’s nothing serious, right?”
She put me on hold.
And, oh, I don’t know . . . thirty minutes later, I magically have an appointment for tomorrow somewhere in another location far away.
I know I’m fine. I just think I scared the scheduler. I don’t know. Maybe it came out like a threat even though I didn’t intend it . . . I don’t really know how to threaten people.
You better get me an appointment or I’m going to blog about it!
You better get me an appointment or I’m going to eat some ice cream!
You better get me an appointment or I’m going to have a Cadbury mini egg!
When I got home, I had a jury summons waiting for me.
Some of you already clicked out of this post in fear that it’s coming for you next. I understand.
I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure jury duty caused my heart condition.
That was my Monday.
As for tomorrow, I will be topless.