Poster Making (and winners announced)

Hello there.

I am coming to you today with some very good news.  VERY GOOD NEWS.

It's all about making posters.  Haven't you always wanted to make a poster?  

Okay, me either.  Not really.  However, back when I had a PC, my friend, Christina, showed me a program called Hallmark Greetings and I was able to use that program to make a poster for my classroom.  I mainly made door posters.  I am all about posters for my door.

It might have something to do with the fact that we do not have hallways and it might also have a little something to do with the fact that I student taught in a school that was open concept which meant there was only one door and that was how you entered into the school building.  The rest of the classrooms were divided by bookcases and chalkboards and filing cabinets.  I did not have a door.  Instead, I had nearby veteran teachers eavesdropping on the disaster that I was at the tender age of oh my word, I'm student teaching and I am so excited, and I have learned all this new stuff that my master teacher doesn't know, and it would be so great to implement if only I could get the kids to listen to me.

Oh, and I do believe the bathrooms also had doors, but I'm not really sure because I don't believe I ever went.

Well, that little ditty sure took us on a detour, didn't it?

Okay, so then I got a Mac.  Which meant I couldn't use my Hallmark Greetings cd anymore to make posters.  So I cried.

So I went to the Genius Bar.  And guess what?  Those geniuses weren't really geniuses.  They just pretended they were by wearing their special t-shirts and calling themselves geniuses.

But they didn't know. 

Not the first, second, or sixth time I went there, either.

I finally found a program that I could download.  It may have been in a different language, but I got it figured out, and I convinced my husband it was safe to download, I wouldn't get a virus, get off my back, I have to make a door poster for the month of October, I need pumpkins and not apples anymore, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND, MISTER?

And it was fine, but it was a lot of steps.

A lot.

Fast forward oh, I don't know how many wasted years of Poster Making That Took Way Too Long, and the amazing Lyndsey Kuster tried to show me how to do it in Power Point.

And it worked.  And it was easy!  And I was so excited that I threw a little party for myself.  

Which means I yelled yahoooooo all by myself in my house and then made a poster of whatever I could think of to try it out.


My poster was grainy.  Blurry.  I thought I wasn't wearing my contacts, but I actually was wearing my contacts, which I found out when I went to get them out of the case and they were in my eyes.  It wasn't my vision, it was the poster.

I was frustrated.  BEYOND frustrated.  So I ate a candy bar.  Or two.  I don't know.  I lost count. 

Lyndsey was so sweet that she said she would make all of my posters for me.  That, right there, is Lyndsey.  And, as much as I wanted to sit on the couch and have someone feed me grapes while Lyndsey did all my work for me, I told her no.


I decided to use the downloadable program.  Last night.


I checked updates, disabled cookies, ate a cookie, got my husband involved (are you sure you should have downloaded this, it could be dangerous, you might get a virus, I don't think you should do this, I don't recommend this) and then I had a brainstorm.

I contacted Traci at Dragonflies in First.

Because, if you didn't know, she actually is a genius and should be working at the Genius Bar and she should be the BOSS. 

And guess what?

Traci knew how to do it.

Almost immediately.

It made me happy.  And then it made me sad for all of the wasted time I have spent making posters the super ridiculous hard way because I do not speak the language of the program that I downloaded and I don't even actually know if it is a human language.

You need to go see Traci's post {HERE} to find out exactly how easy it is to make a poster!

The only part Traci didn't go into was the whole You Have To Cut And Paste The Pieces Together thing.

Because, people, I am here to tell you, it is not easy.  THAT part is not easy.  No.  Nope.  SHAKE HEAD.

Uh, yeah.  Those are mistakes.  And it's not showing the ones from last night that are already in the trash.  These are just today's mistakes.  

I also caution against trying to glue your poster together on the carpet at the top of the stairs because dog hair will get in the glue and ruin your poster.

I am telling you, I printed this dumb poster so many times that I ran out of ink.  That is what I am telling you.  !!!!!

I thought I had finally driven myself absolutely crazy.  And then I was super worried about being put in one of those straight jacket things because I talk with my hands and I use really big gestures (like I have knocked over too many glasses of wine to count, as well as accidentally hit people) so being restricted by a straight jacket might actually kill me.  You'd be worried, too.

Here's what I learned.

When you go to Traci's post, she mentions this thing called overlap.  And she says it's your personal preference.  

I tried everything.  And it turns out I like .10 overlap.  Which is a millimeter.  Or ten.  Or whatever.  I don't know.  My husband told me.  I tried .005, .006 and so on.  But I like .10.  That's my personal preference.

I love it.  This is for my door.  I am in love with it.

But I don't stop here.  Oh no.  That would be crazy, right?  To just stop here?

I glue it onto construction paper.  I order special paper from Office Depot.  See, once the poster is put together, it's 17x22.  And Office Depot sells construction paper that is 18x24.

Yeah, buddy.

But you don't have to buy that.  You could take two pieces of construction paper and put them together.

Either way works.

And then you laminate.

The End.

Thank you so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much, Traci!!!!

I am off to make more posters.  I think I am going to get really good at this.


Don't you think?


In the meantime, I have 3 winners from my Write Happy Comments post!

Stacey Evans, Sue Lattea, and Miss Coffey!  Check your email, girls!

Thank you so much to everyone for all of your happy comments.  I read every single one and they really cheered me up!  :)


Talk About It Tuesday

Here we gooooooooo . . . 
The Men Tell All.

Actually, first, there was a visit from Ashley and J.P.

It was fine.  And it was . . .  well, I'm just going to say it.  It was weird.  Ashley is pregnant so they decided to have a live ultra sound.  As in, an ultrasound on LIVE TV.  Although I am sure it was recorded earlier in the day.  Or even earlier than that.  What do I know?

I don't know.  I think it was supposed to be a special moment so maybe I wasn't supposed to be designing a classroom poster while I was watching.  Maybe it would have been more meaningful to me then.

What I do know is that I don't know what any of that was about.

Anywho, they are having a boy.  And I think they're naming him Harrison, although that might have been a joke.  But it's a good name.  I dig it.

I was way more into the Bachelor Pad in Paradise preview, let me tell you.  Holy moly, there is blood and an ambulance and crying and then some guy is in handcuffs!!!!  As in, he was probably being arrested, although now that I think about it, it could just has easily have been handcuffs for some other reason of which we will not go into, seeing as how this is a teaching blog.  Ahem.

Finally, after about a half an hour of everything that had absolutely nothing to do with The Men Tell All, they finally introduced the men.  And each one was wearing a scarf which was hilarious.  I love a good funny joke.

They sure did wear a lot of stupid scarves this season, didn't they?  Or, actually, the scarves weren't stupid.  It's just that some of the boys looked stupid whilst wearing one.

They re-hashed the whole what did Andrew say when Andi gave Ron a rose and was it a racist comment or was it completely innocent . . . it was very uncomfortable, especially when Andrew mistakenly called Marquel, Ron.

Oh man.  No.

Then JJ, the guy who said Andrew said the comment, got a lot of heat because apparently he stirred the pot a lot instead of being a man and going right up to the person that said it and confronting him.

Which, if we're being clear, is pretty much what it's like when you're a girl and drama ensues.  Am I right?  I think so.  Or maybe that's just me.  Although, I am not a pot stirrer.  I'm talking about my inability to confront anyone.  

Except for that one time that I . . . well, I think there was this time when I . . . 

No.  I don't confront people.  It runs in my family.

The men rehashed this whole thing for a very long period of time.  Apologies were made and maybe accepted . . . I'm really not sure.

We went to commercial and when it came back on, JJ interrupted the whole flow of everything by trying to stand up for himself and apologize, although he didn't do a very good job of it because he ended up saying I really don't care.  So Coach Brian said it wasn't a good apology and then JJ said, well, I just needed to get it off my chest.

Let me put it this way.  JJ FAILED.

Marquel sat in the hot seat.  They talked about the Friend Zone and Marquel's emotional exit.  And cookies.  Marquel is going to be on the Bachelor Paradise Pad so he will be just fine.  Unless he is the one arrested, and then maybe not.  He passed out cookies to the audience which really made me want to be there.  I can always eat a cookie.  Unless it has raisins in it.  Then I can't.  


Marcus was up next.  Looking back at his footage was hard for me.  Because that poor guy was just too desperate.  Mr. Desperado.  Why didn't I nickname him that a long time ago?  Darn it.  I hate when I get my good ideas and it's too late.

The audience awwwwwed and showed pouty faces.  Marcus had a lot of fans.  I was bewildered.

Marcus said he still had a lot of unanswered questions about what happened . . . 

Let me help you out there, Mr. Desperado.  You loved her, but she loved someone else.  


And, apparently, he is over her because he, too, will be joining all of the other single people in Paradise.  Bachelor Paradise, that is.

Next up was Farmer Chris.  I still love that guy and I do not want him to end up in Paradise.  I need him to be the next bachelor.  Maybe he'll bring some class to this whole thing and not make me feel ashamed about watching all of this!

Chris and Chris chit chatted for awhile and I sat on the edge of my mattress waiting for the announcement that we have our new bachelor.

HOWEVER, some random chick from the studio audience interrupted both of them and yelled out and asked to meet Farmer Chris and they (the powers that be? Harrison?) allowed her to come down to the stage (she didn't have a microphone) as if it was a free for all.  THAT'S how easy it is?  You just have to yell out in a rude manner disguised as cute and flirty?

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?  I think I need to get tickets to the next studio audience . . . and I could even bring my own microphone.  That would be helpful and very sweet of me, I think.

Andi came out next.  She sang Farmer Chris'sssss praises and loved that he was such a gentleman.  

Chris Harrison had the lie detector test results that Andi threw away.  He had copies.

Three men lied:  Marcus (he lied about having slept with fewer than 20 women) !!!!!!!!!!! , Dylan (he lied about preferring brunettes and he lied about being ready for marriage) and JOSH.

Josh lied.

Oh no.  No, no, no, no, no, not my Joshie!  {Insert emoji with a horrified look on one's face} There was a big ole debate about whether or not she should know Josh's lies . . . but then a bunch of the guys told her not to find out, to trust the process, etc.  So she chose not to know.  

But I kind of want to know.  I think I need to know.  I think I will not be sleeping from now on while I wonder what Josh lied about.

Then they showed bloopers which were fun and silly.  I always love the bloopers.  The bloopers make me want my own reality TV show.  Or even a sitcom.

Last, they reviewed the romance between Josh and Andi, and then between Nick and Andi.

Josh's romance -- whoa.  Josh is confident.  He is always touching her and loving on her and looking at her . . . 

Nick's romance -- it's a lot of talking.  They touch a lot, too, but Josh just seems more confident in his feelings, whereas Nick almost seems . . . I don't know.

I am just not a Nick fan.  I think we all know that.

And there you have it.  The Men Tell All.

So now we wait one week to find out who Andi picks.  And then it will be over.  And we can move on with our lives.

And with Bachelor in Paradise, obviously.  I mean, come on now.  We have to watch that.  I don't know if I can talk about it, though.  I am on the fence on that one!

Thanks so much for all the happy comments on my post yesterday!  You all have great things going on right now and it is awesome reading all of them.  It seriously made me feel better!  :)  Plus an evening with The Bachelorette always soothes the soul is what I always say.

I'm not picking winners until Wednesday so be sure to click {HERE} and enter!  :)


Blogging Mojo (Giveaway)

For a minute there, I felt like I had lost my blogging mojo.

Granted, it's only been two days since I last blogged, but still.  

I was worried.

We had a bit of a rough weekend.  My husband's friend/coworker/mentor lost his battle with a rare form of leukemia and we attended the memorial service on Saturday.  It was a really great service and we saw some friends we hadn't seen in a very long time.  But it was still a memorial service.  Which means it was sad.

Fortunately, my hubby was able to help him cross some things off of his bucket list in the months leading up to this so that was really good.  But it's still just very sad.

Hug your loved ones.  Tell them you love them.

We're happy to know we will see our friend again one day in Heaven.

But, even still, I feel like I've been down in the dumps because of it and it's time to get up.  Get moving.

And I need a little bit of happy right now.


Let's have a giveaway, shall we!?

Leave me a *happy* comment with your email address and I'll pick 3 winners to choose anything you want from my store.  I'll announce the winners on Wednesday!

Don't forget!  Tonight, The Men Tell All!!!  Woohoo!


Vegas Part 3

Happy Friday!

Okay, we are onto Part 3.   This should wrap it up!

Let's all cross our fingers . . . 

After my morning sessions at the TpT Conference, a huge group of us went out to lunch.  I shared gnocchi and some sort of ravioli with Hadar and it was absolutely delicious, so delicious, as a matter of fact, that I took the hubby back the next day.  That's saying something.

And then it was time for HADAR TO PRESENT!  Yes, she was a presenter and her session was all about Beginning Blogging.  And it was absolutely amazing.  Here's why:

1)  I'm not a beginning blogger but I learned some stuff!  I was actually kind of looking at Hadar like excuse me, why have you not shared this information with me and where have I been for the last three years?  However, I'm pretty sure she thought I knew most of it already.  But I didn't.

I think reality TV and wine distracts me.  As well as people.  And chocolate.  And possibly this thing I have called a real job wherein I supposedly foster the young minds of children for the future.  Please don't be too alarmed.  I am currently on summer vacation so it's not your child.  Rest easy.

2)  Hadar was brilliant.  Seriously.  A million people came up to her and basically said she saved their lives.

3)  I was first in line.

4)  She gave away a TON of stuff, including blog designs and make overs and clip art and all that other good stuff.  I ran around the room passing out some of the stuff to the winners which was extremely fun because it looked as if I was important.

Next, we went to Mel D.'s Pinterest Presentation.

And, it turns out, I was in the wrong session because Mel's session was actually for ADVANCED pinners and I am basically what you might call . . . oh, um . . . what's the word?


So that was embarrassing because I knew absolutely nothing.  I mean, nothing.  I mean, less than nothing.

I have a lot of work to do.  Let's just say that.  And let's not anyone go up and click on my little Pinterest flag, either.  Thankyouverymuch.

After the last session, TpT hosted a Happy Hour.

And it was HAPPY!  I am telling you, we started the day with tears and standing ovations and feeling all emotional and we ended the day with wine and music and photo booths and tattoos!  Yes, tattoos!  

I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT.  I feel that every school day should end the same way.  Don't you?   

I met a ton of people because of the mysterious Kim at Finding Joy in 6th Grade.  She had left Hadar and me each a notecard with a Starbucks gift card inside, saying how much she loved seeing us in person at Hadar's session . . . except she never introduced herself!  And I have no clue what she looks like so I was going around the entire room asking groups of people if they knew her or had seen her or could someone tell me where she was.

Several people told me to get on the microphone which is exactly what I wanted to do, but I refrained.

I can control myself sometimes.

I never found her.

It's like she's a ghost.  Or an angel.  Most likely an angel because she literally has a heart of gold.  Really.  I'm not kidding.  

After I gave up my search party, I just had fun.  I took pictures of people, with people, near people, in the photo booth, outside the photo booth . . . I talked and talked and talked and listened a little, too!

I had the best time!

These are only a few of the pics and they're from all of the events, not just the happy hour:

My journey has been blessed with the most beautiful friends.  They are what make this entire blogging/TpT/Facebook/Instagram/Pinterest/Thing what it is.  There is no other way to say it.  I am so blessed because of the friends I have made along the way.

I shared this picture last week:

Just a reminder, that's Paul, the founder of TpT.  I think he hugged every single person that was there.  He said he owed us each a hug.

I told him how much TpT meant to me.  And, although I have become a better teacher because of TpT, I will always just be grateful for the platform it gave me to help raise money for my student who has brain cancer.  And if it all went away tomorrow, I am just so absolutely thankful that I was able to do one small thing for Jon when I felt completely helpless.

That is what I said to Paul.

And there you have it.  Vegas.  2014.

Until next year . . .


Vegas Part 2

Alright.  Here we go.  Part Two!

Thursday morning I was supposed to meet some friends at the pool.  We were going to have a repeat of last year, except we didn't exactly book a cabana.  We were just going to wing it and call it a day.

But guess what?


In Vegas.

I know, I didn't believe it either so I had to go to the window of my hotel room and check for myself.  I often do this, much to the chagrin of my husband who says he's not lying to me and that I can believe him.  I'd like to point out that I do, in fact, believe him, but I'm so incredulous that I can't help but see for myself.  I just can't help it.  It cannot be helped.

Shoulder shrug.

And sure enough, not only was it raining, but I had a view of two of the pools and no one was there.  NO ONE.  As in, the pool was CLOSED.


So after a lot of texting, we met outside the Public House which became our meeting place the whole week.  It was a landmark.  I could find it no matter where I was and I am extremely proud of myself for this because the Venetian is practically a city unto itself.  The danger of getting lost was always lurking.

We decided to go to I {HEART} Burgers for lunch and we planned to meet up with my bestie, Hadar, as well as Traci and Annie.

Except, we got lost.

For real.

So we stopped to take a picture.  We thought it might come in handy.  You know, in case the authorities needed to be called or we needed a LAST SEEN HERE picture.  But where were we?  Because I sure don't know.

Please look at my T-shirt.

It says, "I Know You From The Internet."

Feel free to leave a comment about hilarious it is.  Consider the circumstances and events surrounding my week in Vegas.  I bought an extra one and gave it away, but the winner said it wouldn't fit her, so I let Mel D. give it away at her TpT presentation.  I'm telling you, this T-shirt is the gift that keeps on giving. 

We finally found I {Heart} Burgers after an hour or two and then we had DEE-LICIOUS food.  The french fries were TO DIE FOR.

Next, I worked in the Freebielicious booth again and met some great people, including Terri from Kinder Kapers.

Hadar, Terri, me

Terri leaves great comments on my blog ALL THE TIME.  She is super supportive.  It was so neat to meet her in real life!

That night, Hadar and I went out with our boys.  We had a great time.  :)  You should read Angela's comment on yesterday's post to see what she was up to when she saw us on our way out.  



I was not looking forward to waking up so early, but thank goodness I DID.

The keynote address was amazing.  I can't explain it.  There were 800 something teachers in the room and Amy, Paul, and John (all from TpT) and Deanna Jump completely validated all of us and what we do, including our drive, intensity, passion, creativity, love, hard work, effort, and dreams for the future in our personal lives, as well as our professional lives.  

I found myself wanting to cry and I was sitting there thinking, what is this emotion?  I don't get emotional.  What in the world is wrong with me?  

And then I looked around and there wasn't a dry eye in the house so then I felt better because you know I'm always worried about ending up in the looney bin.  I also thought how amazing it was that God knew that I would be sitting in that room, that He knew the journey that I would take to end up sitting in that room, and how blessed I am because of all of it.

So I let myself cry a little.

And then I went to all of my TpT sessions and was further inspired and motivated and ready to act like a football player before the big game, yelling "YEAH!  LET'S DO THIS, PEOPLE!  LET'S GO!"  Except there wasn't one of those big banners for me to run through which was a bit of a disappointment so I may send an email to Paul and Amy and see if we can get one for next year.

I attended Tammy and Christy's session first.

I borrowed this picture from their blog.  I figured it was okay
because 1) we're friends and 2) it's a selfie and I'm in it.
You may not be able to see me but I'm in there.

They were awesome.  LOVE them.  To death.

Then I went to the Blogging Panel.   

The blogging panelists got to sit behind a table, much like the judges on American Idol, and they passed a microphone back and forth.  And there were five of them:  Greg, Elizabeth, Cara, Deedee, and Erica.  They were great.  It was super fun and free flowing because Amy from TpT walked around with a microphone.  It was much like Oprah in her studio audience.


The highlight for me was when Deedee shouted out my blog.  Actually, first, she said, "I see Teeny sitting right there" and then she said some other stuff, but I was in my head thinking, "Did she just say Teeny?"  

By the way, it's a little weird that being called Teeny seems normal now . . . 

So I was all up in my head thinking I couldn't believe that Deedee just said something nice about my blog, and then I heard Cara say something about it, and then the next thing I knew, Hadar was elbowing me and telling me to stand up because apparently they told me to.

So I did.

I generally do what I am told.

Deedee and me

Cara and me
You know how on yesterday's post, I talked about how I hugged Cara's face, rather than her person?
Well, is it just me, or does it look like I am hugging her hair this time?
I am actually afraid that I am hurting her . . . 
And I also look like I might eat her . . . 
Oh boy . . .


That's all for today.

We're halfway through the conference and almost to Happy Hour.

I will write Part 3 tomorrow.

Until then . . . 

I will be watching Big Brother and hoping the House votes out Devon.

At the end of the day, he has GOT to go!

Just saying.



Vegas Part 1

I don't know how I've waited this long to write about Vegas.  

It's all I've wanted to write about, but I had obligations.  Things to do, let's say.

Eat.  Sleep.  Catch up on Big Brother.  Cuddle Murphie.  Talk About It Tuesday.  You know, important stuff.

Last year, it took me three posts to write about Vegas.  I have no idea about this year . . . 

I flew in to Vegas with my hubby, Annie of the Moffat Girls, and Traci of Dragonflies in First.  Yes, I am name dropping.

I am dropping names.  If you don't like it, I highly suggest you click out of this post because I am going to be name dropping all the way through it.

We stayed at the Venetian again.  It has truly ruined me for any other hotel and now I'm practically a spoiled princess and the Holiday Inn is just not going to do ever again.  Ever.  Again. 

I took off to meet up with the Freebielicious crew at our BOOTH!  Yes, we had a booth!  We had candy FOR FREE and a giveaway for an iPad Mini.

I know!  

I didn't win the iPad, but I did eat a lot of candy.

Some of the Freebielicious Girls and me
Up front:  Maria and Mary
Back:  Jennifer, Marsha, Hadar, and me
These girls are amazing.
I was so excited to meet them IN REAL LIFE.

Time flew by and then we had to get ready for THE MEET UP!

Say that with an echo:  THE MEET UP!

Last year, there were about 100 people or so.

This year, there were about 500 people or so.

You do the math.  That's a big increase or whatever.

It was INSANE.  I seriously felt like I'd lost my mind at one point because I got stuck on one side of the room and couldn't move to another part of the room no matter what I did.  And it was LOUD.  I don't mind loud.  I grew up in a loud family.  I'm constantly being shushed by my family and my hubby.

Loud doesn't bother me at all.  Well, unless I'm watching reality TV and you're interrupting me.  Then I mind it.  Oh, I also mind it if we're in class and we're writing or taking a test or reading or working on math or learning new vocabulary or napping.  But that's pretty much the only time I mind noise.

But this was different.  

This was over 500 teachers talking all at the same time, as well as squeals and screeches when we met people that we had been dying to meet.  Okay, the high pitched, glass shattering shrieks might have just been me.

For example, when I met Cara Carroll from The First Grade Parade, I might have freaked out a little.  Maybe.  I don't know.  I do know that I think I hugged her face.

Her face, people.  Not her person.  Her face.

If I ever tried to recreate how I hugged Cara Carroll's face, it would never go down the way it actually happened in real life ever again because I don't know how exactly it happened, I just know that her face was in my hands.

I know.  I'm shaking my head, too.

But Cara was just as sweet as you would imagine her to be and let me hug her face anyway and, if you can believe it, hugged me back.  Although, she hugged me properly.  The proper way that one hugs another person, especially if they are meeting for the first time.

I'm wondering if there is a class I can take?  Or if my hugging problems are due to my short stature?

I got to see Rachelle and Natalie from What the Teacher Wants - they were our hostesses, and this time I told Rachelle to shut up when I saw her.

Really.  I did.  It's our thing.

I saw Charlotte (lovingly referred to as a stalker) again, as well as the teacher that I worked with IN REAL LIFE that scared the living daylights out of me last year.  However, this year, I was ready for her.  I was not surprised at all.  

Can't fool me!  Can't hug me, either, apparently.

I met a million and one people.  And even though there were only 500 teachers there, I met a million and one.  Seriously.  There is no other way to describe what happened at the meet up.

I got a glass of wine and never drank it because I could not stop talking.

AT ALL.  I talked and talked and talked.  Granted, I wasn't exactly mingling because I was stuck in the same place for an hour or so, but I met a TON of teachers.

I met teachers from Canada and Australia.  I also met so many bloggers that I'd been dying to meet.   

There were also bloggers I didn't get to meet, but that I knew were there, and our paths never crossed!  That is because I was stuck, I'm telling you!

A million prizes were given out and I won not one.  Not a one.  Not one.  

I did not win is what I'm trying to say!

The whole meet up was supposed to last two hours, but was actually longer because there were so many people and so many prizes and we had all lost our hearing by the end so I didn't actually hear them say it was The End.

But it was.   

A huge group of us went out to eat, including some hubbies, and I had the mac and cheese again.  But it was much much much smaller than I remembered so it was a very good thing that I ordered a salad or I would have been hungry, that's for sure.

I am thinking maybe they only saw the back of my head and assumed I was a kid and they gave me the kid size . . . 

My hubby got to know Aris's hubby, O'brien, during our dinner that night.  By the way, that's his first name.  Is that the greatest name or what?  Not only do I have last name envy here, but it's not a last name, it's a FIRST NAME.

If you don't know Aris, get to know her now.  She is a doll.  She's one of the Cali girls!

I am still trying to go through my phone, Facebook, text messages, and other people's blog posts to organize my pictures!  They're in too many different places and it is overwhelming. 

I know, I'm a failure.  I'd rather talk in words than in pictures.  But, if we took a picture together and I don't have it (surely you would know if I don't have it, right?), will you please email it to me at ateenytinyteacher@yahoo.com?  I can't promise I will post it because first I have to see how I look.

Oh, I kid.

This post was a lot of words so I'll stop now and we'll do Vegas, Part 2 tomorrow.  With some pictures.  I think.  I don't know.  It's not tomorrow. 




Talk About It Tuesday

Here's something funny.

Several people in Vegas (yes, those of us who went are still talking about it) told me that they don't even watch The Bachelor/Bachelorette, but they love reading my Talk About It Tuesdays.

What?  I think that's what I said.  Or, really?  And then I said I always think about quitting and they all said I couldn't.

I don't get it.

I mean it.  I do not get it.

Andi and the last three boys headed to the Dominican Republic for Fantasy Suite Dates.

The first fifteen or twenty minutes of the episode was a recap of the three boys left.

Josh, Chris, and Nick.

She used a lot of adjectives.  A LOT.  As well as a ton of examples.  It was a tad bit exhausting.  

And I was a little bit sick of all the kissing.  

The first date was with Nick.  Again, I had two thoughts.

EW.  No.  NO!

But then I thought, fine, let's get this over with.  Or actually I sighed about it.  Fiiiiinnnnne.  Expel air in an exasperated way.

Andi and Nick got on a helicopter.  I was fine with it.  It was fine.  It hasn't been overdone this season and I can't even think if anyone has been on a helicopter this season.  Here is what I truly think.  This has been the LONGEST season ever.  I need it to hurry up and be over so that I can watch Bachelor Pad in Paradise.  

Yes, I have issues.  We have been over this before.

Anyways, fine.

You'd think I'd have some other adjectives in my repertoire since Andi just listed about nineteen million in her all of her little speeches about the guys but, when it comes to Nick, I can only come up with fine.

They were taken to a private island.  Andi described her time with Nick as an Adult Romance Kind of Thing.

Um, I sure hope they're adults.  Otherwise, what they were doing in the ocean was entirely inappropriate and probably illegal, as well.

They talked about Nick's prior relationships . . . apparently, he has gotten his heart broken a lot.  The sad music didn't affect me at all.  Cold as ice, I tell you.

Nick tried to tell Andi how he was feeling (he loves her) but he couldn't get the words out so instead Andi suggested snorkeling.  So they snorkeled.

Later, they had dinner on the island.

And Nick presented her with a book (a fairy tale, to be exact) he'd written because he had some time and . . . according to him, was what any midwestern boy would do if they had some time.

Um . . . I'm gonna say no to that.  Uh uh.  Not really.  I think most midwestern boys would not type up a story and draw pictures or find pictures or whatever he did to make the book.  Nope.  I imagine midwestern boys doing something midwestern-y like eating at the Cracker Barrel or riding a horse or chewing on some hay or hunting deer or standing in a field with only their jeans and a cowboy hat on.

(Okay, please do not email me and tell me that you are from the midwest and I am so off base and I need to get a grip.  I grew up in Oklahoma and Texas - I know what's what, I am just having a little daydream and that's all.  Getting a grip is pretty much not ever going to happen here.)

Nick then read his story out loud to her and it was basically a fairy tale of their journey . . . 

I don't know.  I like the idea of it, but I don't.   It's cute, but it's not.  

Most likely because Nick did it.

Just saying.

He agreed to go to the Fantasy Suite with her but, first, he had to tell her he loved her so he said A LOT of words while she showed him her pouty face and made pouty noises AND THEN FINALLY he told her.

But it took a long time and then there was so much audible kissing, I wanted to throw up.  Smack, smooch, spit, sputter, STOP ALREADY I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE YOU ARE MAKING ME SICK AND I WAS TRYING TO EAT A PEPPERMINT PATTY THANKYOUVERYMUCH.

Oh good grief, seriously, the audible kissing was OVER THE TOP.  I am pretty sure you can kiss without making noise.

I will try it and report back at a later date.

Next up:  Josh!!!  My mad crush.

Josh walked up to Andi and was speaking a little bit of Spanish to her which was so cute, but would have been absolutely annoying if Nick had done it.  Keeping it real here, people.

But then, as the date went on, guess what?  He actually really speaks Spanish!  WOOT WOOT!  And then he wanted to dance and he was shaking his bootie even though he wasn't good at it.  That's how I am.  I always want to dance even though I am not good at it.  And I am almost positive that if you shake your bootie, it can be classified as dancing, so there you go.

I am the BEST Sitting In My Chair Dancer, by the way.

They played baseball with some local kids which was adorable, of course.  Andi loved seeing him around the kids because her biological clock is ticking, don't ya know.  Well, I said that, not her, but I'm pretty sure it is.

Afterwards, they sat on a bench and Josh must have said he loved her about fifty times and Andi looked like she was going to cry . . . it wasn't even her pouty face.  I'm just going out on a limb here and totally reading into things, I'm not an expert, but it looked like she felt relieved and happy about it.

I don't know, but if I was a gambler (and I'm not, aside from playing the slots at the airport with a $5 bill and walking away with $71, yessiree bob) I'd say she loves Josh back.  Because when Nick said he loved her, she was just showing her pouty face and kind of acting like she expected it and it was no big thing.  But when Josh said it . . . well, it was a completely different thing.  She was teary eyed.

I'd like your thoughts on this.  Please chime in.  

Later, they had dinner.  They talked about what kind of parents they would be and Josh continued to say he loved her, but Andi was worried that he was happy all of the time.

Isn't that a good thing?  Right?  What in the world?

He assured her that he could be serious, but that he couldn't help but be happy around her.  

Yes, I melted.

They went to the fantasy suite and fireworks went off.

I mean that literally, not figuratively.  Literally, fireworks went off.  Get your mind out of the gutters, people.  

Now, because I have a mad crush on Josh, I can't see past his cuteness.  I believe every word that comes out of his mouth.  If you think he is shady or that we can't trust him, please leave a comment and tell me why so I can snap out of my stupor.  Thank you.

Then Josh told the camera pretty much all of this:  I will support her, I will protect her, I will be a loving husband, I will be a loving father, I will make her happy, I love her, I have never felt like this before, I want to propose.

So I basically fell over in a dead faint as if I was living in the Victorian age and my girdle was too tight when, in fact, I was wearing ginormous pajama pants that are entirely too long, and if he is not picked, he'd better be the next bachelor and I'm serious or ABC is getting a strongly worded letter from me and you all can sign it, too, okay?  Okay?!

Last was Chris.

Andi took Chris to the countryside of the Dominican to ride horses even though she was nervous around horses.  

They are very tall. 

Andi and Chris hopped up on the horses and started having a nice little walk with conversation until Andi's horse started running.  Or trotting very fast.  She freaked out.  Not in a loud embarrassing way or anything (read: I would have started screaming and crying and probably would have fallen off before the horse had a chance to buck or rear or do anything scary) but Chris was there for her and got her to relax.

They talked a lot about his family and his hometown date and how much she loved it all.  Then they played that Hide On The Farm game.  I still feel like I could win that.

Andi wasn't sure about Chris and if their connection was deep, close, and real enough . . . it made me worried for Chris.

At dinner that night, they talked about her possible move to Iowa.  Chris said he was willing to make sacrifices and that everything was negotiable . . . but Andi didn't want him to make any concessions in which he left his farm.

And then Andi started getting choked up and told him that she was struggling . . . 

Here's my input.  Chris needs to be the next bachelor and ONLY GIRLS THAT WANT TO LIVE OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE ON A FARM AND BE HIS WIFE NEED APPLY.

Then Andi started ugly crying and had a hard time talking because she said she is not where he is in their connection.  She doesn't see herself in Iowa, but also said there was more to it.  She said she has more respect for him and didn't want to lead him on.

Of course, Chris was a true gentleman.  Andi was a mess.  Her heart and head weren't matching up . . . it was a disaster.  And Chris was just so sweet and kind and wonderful.


Either Chris or Josh.


Are we all clear?!  

Chris was sad in the limo . . . but he didn't bawl like a baby or anything like that or say his life was over or whine and say, "WHY ME?"

He was just as sweet as could be.

Poor guy.

Then we had another Andi Talks To Chris Harrison Segment which is my most unfavorite thing ever next to Nick.

Chris Harrison said, "Blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah?"

Andi replied, "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.  Blah blah blah blah blah."  Pouty face.

Repeat 12 times.

The End.

There was still a rose ceremony because you never know -- the guys might not accept the rose.

Yeah, right.  Puh-lease.

So guess what?

Nick and Josh each got a rose.



I feel like I asked a lot of questions . . . I need you to answer them. Pleaseandthankyou.