New Student

I got a new student.

I lost a student last Friday.  Actually, I didn't lose him so much as he up and left me for another school.  And I loved this kid.  He was sweet and nice and smart and a hard worker and a friend to everyone.  He was that kid.  

I told him that his new teacher was going to get the little note that said It's your lucky day!  You're getting a new student! and that her shoulders would slump and she would be a tad bit overwhelmed getting everything ready for him and she would wonder if he was on grade level and if he was well behaved and if he would fit into her class without upsetting the apple cart (which led to a discussion of an apple cart).  

And then I told him that once she met him, and got to know him a little bit, she would realize that she had hit the jackpot (which led to a discussion of the lottery).  

I was a little teary eyed during this exchange, but he thought it was because I didn't win the lottery.  But it was really because I was going to miss him.

So that was last Friday.

And then on Monday, I found out I was getting a new student.  

And I felt all the things you feel when you hear you're getting a new student.  In the middle of the year.  After you've trained your class and it runs like a machine.  

After you've just lost a wonderful little kiddo.


After moping about it for all of an entire minute (or three), I got busy.

I pulled out my handy dandy ziplock bag filled with all the things a new student might need.

You've probably already seen this idea because I saw it somewhere and had to copy it as any good teacher would.  I don't know who/what/where I saw it so I apologize for not giving credit.  I think a lot of people do it.  I changed mine a bit because I just keep extras of everything I fill out at the beginning of the year in one bag, rather than individual bags.  Call me lazy.

Some of the things in the bag are a name tag for the desk, a stick, a Teacher's Pet bone, a birthday card (I fill those out ahead of time), and a letter to the parents just to name a few.

I wrote his name on everything (his name happens to be very unusual, but at least I can spell it correctly - remember that time when I spelled a student's name wrong for more than half the school year?) so that he would feel like I was ready for him.

At least in the way of school supplies, if not emotionally.

Then I went home and I pulled up my handy dandy New Student file.  Because I am a nerd, and I have one.  Hello.  Nice to meet you.  My name is Kristin and I am a nerd.

And inside it, I keep a list of what I might need to print off at home.

I'm telling you -- I meet those parents and I look like I'm the winner of the Most Prepared Teacher in All the Land Contest, and then they know they can leave their little one with me because I will - just as surely as the day is long - return their child to them at the end of the day in one piece.

I'm happy to report that my New Student is adorable.  He hugged me when he met me!  It turns out he hugs everyone.  So we may have to have a discussion about that, but as for now, it's cute.  At the end of the day, he hugged me and then reached up like he wanted to whisper something to me so I bent down and he didn't want to whisper anything.

He kissed me on the cheek.

If that didn't surprise the heck out of me, I don't know what will.  I think I have a Valentine.  ;)

This little guy came from Florida and FLORIDA TEACHERS ROCK!  He is on grade level and has his reading strategies down pat.  I was blown away and happily surprised.  And he can do place value like nobody's business.  WOOHOO!

He had big shoes to fill, but he's filling them in a-okay.





Talk About It Tuesday

Here we go!

Episode Number Five.  It was just okay.  I started getting a little bored by the end so the end of this post might be a bit rushed because I just couldn't take it anymore.

Ben travels to Mexico City.  He remarked that he couldn't believe he was halfway through his journey and I can't believe it, either.  We're halfway?  Already? 

When the girls arrived in Mexico City, they found out they were staying at the Four Seasons Hotel and so they ran around the hotel room(s) and screamed and shouted and were really happy.  

Just once, I'd love it if ABC put these girls up at a Motel 6.  Or maybe even a Holiday Inn.  I think you get a continental breakfast at the Holiday Inn so I think that would be perfectly acceptable, and then ABC would have more money for helicopter rides and private concerts and convertibles and Neil Lane Diamond Rings.   You can never have too many of those, don't ya know.

Olivia started professing her love for Ben right away.  She knows, without a doubt, people, that she is in love with him.  Who would have doubts after only five weeks and a couple of group dates?  

Not me.  Nope.

Olivia was positive that no one else was receiving the validation that she was getting from Ben.  Apparently, we are now calling Ben's messages (sweet-nothings that Olivia makes up in her head) validations.  She was sure - she felt it - that she would receive the first one-on-one date.

But alas, she didn't.

She heard the voices in her head wrong.  Because Amanda got the first one-on-one and, if you forgot, Olivia reminded all of us that Amanda has two children.  But Olivia said the word children as if she was the witch in Hansel and Gretel.  Or the witch in the Wizard of Oz.  I'll get you, my pretties!   It was a bit unsettling.

Ben showed up at the hotel at 4:20 in the morning to pick up Amanda because he clearly wanted to see what these girls looked like without makeup (by the way, who knew if he would even recognize Olivia) but he said it was because that's when his date with Amanda was starting.  Uh huh.  Sure, Ben.

The girls were laughing and freaking out . . . and Lauren H. (the kindergarten teacher) had to take out her retainer and he said he sleeps with a retainer, too.  Ha!  So then she did a little interview with the camera while wearing her retainer and now I love her very much and she is my favorite (but not for Ben, probably).

I love Lauren H.  She's real and doesn't take herself too seriously.

Here is how Amanda woke up.

Is this for real?
This is not normal for 4:20am.
I can't even get myself to look like this at 8am after I've showered
and gotten ready for the day.

Ben took Amanda on a hot air balloon ride.  They kissed.  

She is so soft-spoken!!!  She reminds me of Emily (Brad Womack and then Jeff).  I wish I was soft-spoken.  But I'm just not.  In fact, it's not uncommon for Steve or anyone else in my family to say we hear you, we're right here, can you take it down just a notch?  But I'm sorry.  I get excited.  Or I get mad.  Or I'm telling a story.  Or I can't believe things.  It can't be helped and it might actually be an impairment of some sort.

So anywho . . . Amanda later told Ben all about her ex-husband.  It sort of sounds like he was a cheater, although she didn't come right out and say it.  Amanda was concerned that people might think she didn't try hard enough to stay married, but she did. 

You could literally see Ben falling all over her.  He can't believe that some guy let Amanda walk out of his life.  It's so obvious that Ben wants to be her Knight in Shining Armor.  

He gave her the rose.  Of course.

The group date was next and there were nine girls.  The girls thought they would be cooking, but first they had to take some Spanish lessons.  Ben said he didn't care who spoke the best Spanish - he just wanted to see who had the best attitude (again).  He's all about the girls' attitudes.  Which makes me feel like I have an attitude because easy for you to say, mister.

Jubilee was having none of it.  NONE.  She hates group dates and she hated that he was telling all of the girls (in Spanish because the teacher told him to) that he wanted to kiss them and/or was in love with them.  Jubilee did not have a good attitude.  And Ben could see it.  

Olivia already knew a little Spanish so when the two of them had their exchange, she felt as if their chemistry was out of control.  She lived in her little fantasy world for a long while during this part of the date.  I won't write it all down because you can just imagine her thinking that Ben is in love with her and only her.

Next, they had to cook in teams of two.  Well . . . Olivia asked right away if Ben was going to be on a team (yes) so she asked told him right away that she would be with him.  This made all of the girls mad, especially Jubilee who thought that was entirely unfair and decided she should be on a team with Ben.  Because that's totally fair, right?  In all fairness?  It's not fair for Olivia to be on his team so let's make it fair and have Jubilee be on his team.  Sounds logical to me.

I was yelling Play Rock, Paper, Scissors!  or The chefs should pick a number between one and ten!  or Eeny Meeny Miney Moe!  It was like I was at school.

Especially when Olivia did what any first grader would do to win the argument:  She played the ole I said it first card.

And, truthfully, she did.

So Ben and Olivia technically got some one-on-one time while they shopped for their ingredients . . . and she fed him crickets.  It's true.  I don't know what kind of grocery store this was, but she fed him crickets and he let her.  Olivia attempted to look sexy while eating her crickets and I am here to tell you that it didn't work.  I must have zoned out a bit on this part because I honestly don't know where the crickets came from or why they were there.  

The twin (can't think of her name) has said, and continues to say, that Olivia has horrible breath . . . and sure enough, Ben took Olivia to taste test some fresh mint.  Hmm.  I wonder.

When they went back to the kitchen, it was crowded and hot, and all the teams were cooking at the same time.  Everyone was having fun, and taste testing, and smiling, and laughing, but Ben noticed that Jubilee was not having fun.  Because she wasn't.  Not at all.

The chefs sat down to taste everyone's food and they thought Olivia's food looked like dog food.  Not only that, she put crickets on top of it.  WHY?  Really.  WHY??  Apparently, according to Olivia, people in Mexico City like to eat crickets.  WHAT?  Is that what I missed?  WHO SAID THAT?

In the end, Jubilee's food won.

At the let's drink and steal Ben as much as we can from one another part of the date, guess who stole him first?

You'll never guess.

Okay.  You did.  


I'm so sick of this girl that surely Ben must be, too.  Give me a break.  For the love of crickets, GIVE ME A BREAK FROM THIS GIRL.

But Ben leaned in to kiss her anyway.  So there you go.  I guess he's not tired of her.

I kept a count of the kissing on this group date.  SIX.  Six that they showed.  SIX!  OUT OF NINE!



Jubilee just sat on a couch and stewed.  She was angry.  ANGRY.  She is not used to being overshadowed.

Ben *finally* came to get her, and went to hold her hand, but she wouldn't hold his hand.  They had a little conversation, and I have to admit that Ben impressed me because he was honest with her.

He said when he left their one-on-one date, he thought that they had something they could build upon, but now he felt like he couldn't say that with confidence anymore because she was pulling back.  

Jubilee started back-pedaling like nobody's business and asked him straight out if he thought they could continue.  And he said no.  

Just.like.that.  She started to cry a teeny bit. 

He walked her out and they hugged.  

Then they showed Ben (alone) crying a little bit.  I think he really liked her and was disappointed that she didn't give it her all.  I don't know.  Ben told the girls that he had to say goodbye to Jubilee, and he was visibly upset so Jojo took him aside to comfort him.

Comfort Him = Stick Her Tongue In His Mouth To Perk Him Up A Bit.  Works every time.

Then, in a bizarre-weird-what-in-the-world? type of way, Ben gave the group date rose to Olivia.  

UGH.  I'm thinking maybe the fresh mint actually worked.

The next day was Lauren H.'s one-on-one date.  Their date was all about fashion.  It was Mexico City Fashion Week and while Lauren thought she was going to just be in the audience, she quickly learned she was going to be walking in it.

Ben and Lauren both did great and pulled it off.  :)  I loved when Lauren said Holy Shoot right before she walked out.  

At their dinner, Lauren opened up to Ben and he got to know her more, and was attracted to how sweet, vulnerable, and honest she is.  He gave her the rose.  

I feel like not a lot happened on the date so there's not much to tell. Lauren is a nice, normal girl.  

Finally, it was the Cocktail Party/Rose Ceremony.  The girls loved the location.  But they were STILL really upset that Olivia got a rose because they want Ben to see what they see in Olivia!  DON'T WE ALL?  

And how - HOW IN THE WORLD - does this happen every single season??  There is always one girl who the bachelor loves, but that the girls hate, and we're yelling at him to WAKE UP and DON'T PICK HER and ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  The same is true of The Bachelorette.  I DO NOT GET IT.  Does ABC orchestrate this?  Is there a question on the questionnaire that says something along the lines of "Do you have friends?" and a certain person actually circles NO and so ABC calls her to tell her that she has won a coveted spot on The Bachelor because she will be perfect in the role of the villain?  IS THAT IT?

When Amanda was talking to the other girls about her childcare arrangements for her daughters while she is gone, Olivia said - OUT LOUD - "I feel like this is an episode of Teen Mom."


The girls couldn't believe it.

After the girls called her out on it, Olivia got teary eyed and fake apologized and said she would try harder.

Emily, the twin, decided to tell Ben.  In a if you like Olivia, then maybe I'm not the girl for you kind of way.  Emily cried and cried and said Olivia was a bully!  A downright bully!  Ben was a good listener through all of it.   

Emily called her twin and cried some more.  She was sad (her words!)!  It was kind of funny -- it was very dramatic and I didn't really understand all the crying.  What was with all the crying?  

Olivia somehow knew that Emily was talking about her so she went to squash it.


Ben started questioning his feelings about Olivia.  He was not happy that Olivia was causing Emily pain - he said it killed him to see her crying.  

Ben started asking the girls questions and they all started spilling the beans . . . and Ben started worrying that he wasn't getting the whole picture of Olivia.  He felt nervous.

Chris Harrison came to start the rose ceremony, but Ben asked to speak to Olivia first.  So then it was the whole can he take her rose away?  Has a rose ever been taken away before?  Well, there aren't any rules, really, surely he can take her rose away?

And then the episode ended.

There is a TON of crying on next week's episode.  It appears as if Olivia is still with us, but they don't show her to make it look like maybe she left.

So who knows?

BUT SHE HAS GOT TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And that wraps up this episode!

Leave your thoughts in the comments!


Valentine Freebie

Hey peeps!

Well, I did it.  I was able to finish the mini pack of Valentine Partner Plays for All Readers this weekend because Steve has been as sick as a dog.

I know.  I feel sorry for me, too.

We have stayed home for most of the weekend, with a couple of trips to the grocery store for soup and tea and cough syrup and candy.  The candy was for me, along with some ingredients to make a Cinnamon Crumb cake which I call coffee cake and feel is perfectly acceptable to have for breakfast.  And by ingredients, I mean a box and one egg.

It's been rainy and windy all day today so it was the perfect day to hibernate and get a little work done.
I've got mine all printed (but not prepped because I'm going to ask a parent volunteer to do that for me in the morning) and ready to go.  It's just a little mini pack because you can *technically* only use it for a couple of weeks . . . although, really, celebrating love and goodwill should be encouraged all year long, don't ya know.

The mini pack has two plays for Kinder Kids (I had originally said it would only have one, but I changed my mind), two plays for Beginning Readers, and two plays for Advanced Readers (featuring Murphie and Milo).

Here are some samples for your viewing pleasure:

Kinder Kids:

Beginning Readers:
Advanced Readers:
Here's a Freebie if you can use it!  Just click to go to my store and grab it!  It's been a freebie for awhile, but I revised it so you if you already have it, you may want to re-download it.
Click {HERE}!


I'm off to check on the sickie.


Five for Fraturday

Happy Saturday!!!

Not a fan of this picture of myself, but everyone else looks great.
I'm kinda squinting.  Even though the sun isn't out.
And I'm starving here.
We are all starving here.

Last Saturday, we went to Disneyland with Steve's family.  Pictured here are two of his aunts, an uncle, and three cousins.  It didn't rain on us, and it wasn't too cold, and we had a fabulous time!  We kind of made it our mission to eat a lot and go to the bathroom a lot.  That's how I "do" almost every single amusement park.

That's also how I "do" life pretty much.

We did manage to ride a bunch of rides, too.

I have been seeing this all over Facebook and Instagram . . . I saw it on Miss Kindergarten's Facebook page first and I just cracked up.

This is hilarious, if you ask me.

And if you don't ask me, I'm going to show it to you anyway and then tell you that it's hilarious.  

That's what I've been doing since I first saw it.

And that's why it totally makes sense that I fell asleep at 8:30 last night and slept until . . . oh . . . 8:00 this morning.


Yes I did.


And I am not ashamed, people!


It's time I switched over to Word Press.  It's something that I have been meaning to do since the first TpT conference.

And then it seemed like a lot of work.

And then I forgot about it.

And then other people started switching.

So then I remembered.

But then I felt like it was too much work so I ignored it again.

AND THEN.  Becca over at Jumping Jax Designs had a sale so I jumped onto the sale and then I promptly forgot that I had bought a Word Press template/design/whathaveyou from her.

But then Becca remembered and she started emailing me, and the next thing I knew, we had some designs going and now I am freaking out!!

Isn't it so pretty?

Here it is again:
I feel so grown up.

By the way, I am only making the switch from Blogger to Word Press because, once-somewhere-sometime-someone said that Google (I think) hosts Blogger and that Google could decide, at any moment, not to support it anymore, and POOF, my blog would be gone.

And I am way too attached to my blog to have that happen so here we go.  I am finally making the switch.

I have no idea how much work it's going to take on my end, but I am hoping Becca will do most of it.  ;)

It is Jon Jon's birthday today.  He would be nine years old here on Earth, but he is celebrating today in Heaven.  This was taken in December of 2013 in my classroom.  Jon Jon was getting ready to head to New York for a clinical trial and my class got together and made him a gift basket.

I pray for his family every day.  And as this day approached, I have been praying especially hard for their comfort and strength.  It's another first that they are dealing with, and I can't stop thinking about them.

Please pray for Jon Jon's family as they make their way throughout this day, their only son's birthday.  I can't imagine.  I just can't.

In lighter news, I'm almost finished with this mini pack of Valentine plays for All Readers!  It will have one Kinder Kid play, two Beginning Reader plays, and two Advanced Reader plays.  It will be in my store tomorrow, and one of the plays will be a freebie!  Check back here tomorrow or be sure to follow my Facebook page so that you can stay in the know!

As for the rest of my Saturday . . . I've got a sick husband on my hands.  

Wish me luck!


Mixed Emotions

This is what happened to me today.

Maybe you should sit down.  I certainly am.

I walked into my classroom and did my normal just walked into my classroom routine.  

My normal just walked into my classroom routine goes like this:

I turn on all the lamps (I have three), the Scentsy warmer (which is probably illegal so lets all just keep that to ourselves), the little tabletop fountain that I have (I've been told it creates a calming effect, but I've had it for so long that it must not be working anymore because my kids continue to have an abundance of energy from year to year), turn on the heater (or the air conditioner in summer -- or nothing at all if the weather is just perfect and my classroom doesn't feel like a tomb or an oven), and I put my iPod on the docking station and choose the playlist "George Winston" (unless it's Fall and then I choose "Harvest Time" or unless it's the three weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas break and then I play the "Charlie Brown Christmas" playlist).

It's a pretty extensive just walked into my classroom routine, as you can see.  But I have time for it because I get everything ready to go before I leave for the day so I can be all kinds of leisurely when I get to school in the morning.  And, by leisurely, I mean I'm very busy and doing all sorts of important things, but I'm not running around like a maniac and standing in line for the copier or fighting with the copier or trying to find out where I put that tub of math manipulatives, although all of that did happen to me today, just not in the morning.  

I'm not one for running around.  Who wants to run?  It's really hard to run when you want to drink your coffee and have a chit chat with your teammate.  Trust me.  I know.

So this morning, I walked into my classroom and the only thing I really got to do was turn on the heater because, don't ya know, it was only 56 degrees in my classroom which is considered a below freezing temperature in Southern California, so I was cold!  Freezing cold!

Next, I walked over to the corner of my classroom where I have a nice little calming situation (or an attempt at creating calm) going on which includes a lamp, the tabletop fountain, and the Scentsy warmer sitting on a counter.  And as I reached to turn on the lamp, I heard something.

And it sounded a little like high pitched crying.  

Or like the musical note EEEEEEEEEE.  Whatever that sounds like.  I was not a music major, nor am I a musical person, so I don't know if EEEEEEEE sounds like the long e sound or not, but there you go.  

So I jumped back about ten feet, and maybe a chair fell over in the process, and maybe my heart speeded up, and maybe I started to sweat.

I don't know.  Because then I talked myself out of the feeling.

Because what I haven't told you is this:

We have mice.  


And it is a huge problem.  And it's sort of all of a sudden.  When our school opened fifteen years ago, it was a huge problem because they were building new houses nearby and blah blah blah, but I'm telling you, it's a problem again.  It's a problem NOW.

And yesterday, after the kids went home, a Pest Control man came to my classroom during my team meeting to set out glue traps.




And he said that our custodian would be told where they were so that he could check them in the morning.

And all I have to say about that is I guess I'm the custodian because guess who checked the glue trap to make sure her mind wasn't playing tricks on her because she overreacts and tends to hear things that she thinks is high pitched crying, but is actually the lamp switch being turned on, or the refrigerator humming, or a pencil falling off a bookshelf?

Yes, me.

I checked the glue trap.

And I heard correctly.  Maybe for the first time ever.

And a tiny little mouse was stuck on the glue trap and wriggling around and crying.


I almost started crying (or maybe I actually did cry and maybe I feel like crying right now), and I have complete and total mixed emotions because I don't want mice in my classroom, OBVIOUSLY, and I definitely don't want all of their droppings, either, but I really don't want them to suffer!

And this little mouse was suffering!

I had to call our custodian (who was really upset on my behalf, and he wanted to know why he wasn't told that a company had set glue traps in my room) and he came to the rescue.

But you don't want to know what he did to end the mouse's suffering.

And I'm not telling.

Not to mention, I don't know if he even really did it because I left my classroom, and made a big ole production out of how upset I was by jumping up and down a little, and holding my head in my hands, and half fake/half real crying in front of some kids who happened to be nearby.

When I told my aide what had happened, she said GOOD! CATCH THEM ALL! THEY ARE AWFUL!  And when I told our night custodian about it, he said he already knew and he said, THEY'RE VILE LITTLE CREATURES!  WE MUST GET THEM ALL!


What in the world?  In the words of Taylor Swift, Why You Gotta Be So Ruuuuuuuuude?????

How am I alone in this?  

I am sort of reminded about the time We Had Birds.  If you haven't read about that time, you should.  It's {HERE}.


I had mixed emotions then, too.

I'm not saying I want a pet mouse.  But I'm also saying that they're one of God's creatures.

Like I said.

Mixed emotions.

Where do you stand????????


Talk About It Tuesday

Here we go . . . Episode Four!

It starts out with the girls saying how they're so exhausted.  I mean, it must be so exhausting lounging around by the pool all day and running to the front door every five minutes to see if a date card has arrived.  I get it.  I'm often lounging on the couch and running to the front door to see if my latest Amazon prime shipment has arrived so I totally sympathize with how exhausted they are.  The struggle is real, people.

They learn that Ben is no longer in Los Angeles and, instead, in Las Vegas.  

Choruses of Viva Las Vegas ensued, as well as screams and shouts about how exciting this is, they're going to Las Vegas, we're going to Las Vegas, I'm so excited, I can't even.handle.it, etc.

Calm down.  It's Vegas.  Take me to Rome, please.

There was a sign outside the Aria where the girls were staying that lit up and said Ladies, Welcome to Las Vegas, Can't Wait to See You - Ben.  The girls fuh-reaked out and hurt my ears.  They do understand he is just a man and not Thor, right?

Jojo got the first one-on-one, but you can rest assured that Olivia was not threatened at all because she was at peace with Ben.  Ben is her Zen.

Seriously.  She is fine.  Not a care in the world.  Lah-di-dah. 

Jojo and Ben went out onto the roof or a helicopter pad or something to have a glass of champagne, but when the helicopter arrived, it blew the table and champagne and glasses all over the place.  Bad idea, ABC.  BAD IDEA.  They had to take cover behind the table so Ben took that opportunity to kiss Jojo.

The ladies could see all of this happening from the hotel room so they were disgusted and walked away from the window.  At first, they thought it was hilarious that the romantic moment of the champagne and rooftop was ruined by the helicopter . . . but when the kissing started, they were not amused.

That's when Olivia started to get worried.  She was not okay with this.  NOT OKAY, she said.  She is in love with Ben.  She wants him to be her husband.  

This all translates into she is a FIVE ALARM STALKER.

I'm going on record right now and saying BEN SHOULD NOT PICK HER.  For anything.  Nothing.  He shouldn't pick her for a group date or a one-on-one or a two-on-one or even to empty the dishwasher.  I repeat, DO NOT PICK OLIVIA, MR. BEN. 

Jojo and Ben have a lot of chemistry.  They didn't really see any of the Vegas skyline or the buildings or anything.  They just kissed.  And kissed.  And kissed.  BLECK!

Later that night, Jojo confided in Ben that she had been cheated on and how she had insecurities and this and that . . . so they bonded and then he took her out on another rooftop and surprised her with fireworks.  They didn't even look at the fireworks.  They just had another big ole make-out session.  But the fireworks and the soaring music of romantical proportions drowned out any kissing noises so it was okay, I suppose.

When the fireworks were going off, the girls could see and hear them which made Olivia feel as if her husband was out there cheating on her.

Her husband.  Ben.  The man she is supposedly "dating" on a "dating show" with at least fifteen other girls.  But she called him her husband.  Olivia needs a dictionary.  

The group date was next.  They met a ventriliquist named Terry Fator (who is hilarious) and they kind of put on a talent show of some sort.

The twins could do Irish dancing, Jubilee could play the cello . . . and Olivia said she has a surprise talent.  Hmmmm.  It involved shimmy-ing.  

And just like every other Bachelor and Bachelorette season, these girls had to perform in front of a LIVE audience.  They were actually the opening act for Terry Fator.

Again, Olivia wasn't worried.  She was going to go after her man.  When she's around Ben, well . . . Bam Shazam.  That's what she said.  Let me translate Bam Shazam for you.  It means Olivia's Crazy.

The show opened and there were a bunch of different acts that seemed to be going just fine, like the Irish dancers, and a chicken, and a juggler and I don't know . . . the girls were doing whatever they could, and it was fine, and then it was Olivia's turn.

And she jumped out of a cake.

But it was hard for her to jump out of the cake.  So she more or less walked/stumbled/got one leg over/then the other leg over and she more or less fell out of the cake.

And then she proceeded to dance.  Or be a Rockette.  Or be someone who can't dance, but was trying to be sexy, but it's not working because she can't dance and it didn't look right.  Ben was DYING.  Dying.  He seemed embarrassed for her.  

I can't dance.  So I only do it in private.  And jumping out of a cake is a complete waste, if you ask me, because cake is meant to be eaten.  With ice cream, obviously.

When it was all over, Olivia broke down and had a panic attack.  She felt bad about her performance and said that Ben only gave her a pity hug.  She started regretting her decision to be The Girl That Jumps/Falls Out Of A Cake because she came on the Bachelor to be marriage material, but she felt that she portrayed herself to be otherwise.

At the Let's Have Drinks, The Talent Show is Over part of the date, Caila and Ben wandered off and she just pretty much sat on his lap and attacked him.  Oh, and her dress was so incredibly short, I couldn't honestly believe that she was wearing it as a dress.  IT WAS SHORTER THAN SHORT.  Her legs up to her pelvis were just plain ole naked!!!

Then it was Lauren H.'s turn (kindergarten teacher) for some alone time and we don't know that much about her, but she kind of has a dirty mind.  For real.  She always says innuendos.  Good grief!  Teachers -- you just can't take them anywhere!  ;)  They also did some kissing. 

I'm starting to lose count on how many women Ben has made out with, but I really don't think he discriminates -- if you have lips, Ben will find them.  

Olivia took Ben aside and told him how embarrassed she was, and that she was trying to be sexy and awkward and blah blah blah . . . reassure me, help me, kiss me, make me feel like we're still married since you're my husband . . . but Ben said it wasn't bad (BEN!) and then one of the twins came and interrupted them.  

Olivia felt like she blew the whole conversation and she was scared.  By the way, Olivia is twenty-three!  TWENTY-THREE YEARS OLD!  She seems so much older to me!!!  What do you think????

His one-on-one time with Lauren B. (flight attendant) was sweet and nice.  She likes him, he likes her . . . boy likes girl and girl likes boy . . . kiss kiss.

The other twin had some alone time with Ben, and Olivia interrupted them because she had to make things right, and she couldn't go to bed like that, and she had to kiss him.  So she did.  

So I think we're at 513 kisses for Ben so far.  In the first 30 minutes of this episode.

In the end, Ben gave the rose to Lauren B.  


Amanda was sitting right next to him and he just didn't care.  HE JUST DIDN'T CARE.

Take a look:

Amanda is in the middle.
But he's about to give the rose to Lauren B.
There was no excuse me, Amanda, or maybe I'll stand up so I'm not actually reaching across Amanda to hand this rose over to Lauren.
Nope.  None of that.

Holy Awkward Melt Into The Background Is This Really Happening Right Now Moment.

And then Ben hugged Lauren.
I think Lauren understands that this is weird and that 
they either need to include Amanda in the hug or not hug at all, but there was nothing she could do about it because Ben just lunged at her.
And Amanda is back there.
Being swallowed up in someone else's hug.
I seriously can't get over this.

Next was Becca's one-on-one.  A wedding dress was delivered to her hotel (she looked amazing in it) and then a pink convertible picked her up and took her to a wedding chapel where Ben was waiting.  Ben got on one knee and asked her if she would marry other people with him.  

He got ordained.  That's why.

So then they married a a bunch of couples all throughout the day.  At the end of the day, Ben took Becca to the Neon Museum.  They had some deep conversation and talked about feeling the feelings and how her virginity is because of her faith, beliefs, morals, values, and commitment to God, and Ben likes that because it shows how good she is at commitment.

And then they made up wedding vows and told them to each other. It was really sweet.  Really.  They were definitely connecting.  He likes her.

The next day, Chris Harrison showed up at the girls' suite to tell them that Ben requested a two-on-one date with Emily and Haley, the twins.  The girls are from Vegas so Ben took them home.   Because they still live there.  In their mother's house.  Because they are young.

YOUNG.  They have bedrooms in their mother's house.

That's how young they are.  I don't even think they should be on the show - that's how young they are.  I don't even think I should be watching this show because I could probably be their mother.  Their mother and I are probably the same age.  That's how young they are.

He had a little one-on-one time with each of them and then pulled their mom aside to get her perspective.

And then, right there in their house, in front of both girls and their mom, he said it's time to say goodbye to Haley.

So Haley cried and Emily cried (until Ben kissed her in the back of the limo).

The next day was the Cocktail Party Before the Rose Ceremony and after Ben made his speech, Jen was the first one to say she was going to steal him.  Everyone was happy that it was Jen who first out of the gate and not Olivia.

But wait.

Not three minutes went by and Olivia was there to interrupt.  THIS GIRL!

She had to repeat herself about how she was awkward and blah blah blah and he told her he didn't need her to apologize, and she told him she is falling for him, and the next thing you know, Olivia believes that he sent her another message.

And she heard it loud and clear.

I didn't hear anything.  Because Ben didn't actually say anything.  But Olivia hears secret messages from Ben and I'm betting she hears voices, too.

Olivia told Jojo about their conversation and said that Ben reciprocated his feelings for her (which was a bold faced LIE).  

Olivia was the last to receive a rose again.  Amber and Rachel went home.

Amber was distraught.  It was kind of sad.  And dramatic.  She cried on a lounge chair pillow outside.  

And that wraps it up.

I am sort of liking Lauren B and Caila . . . and Amanda.  And Becca.  But I think that's it.  Well, I might like Jojo.  I don't know.
It's too soon to tell!




We are having the 100th day of school this week!

I'm not sure of the actual 100th day, but I do know our kinder teachers are celebrating it on Friday because they think Friday is a fun day to do stuff.

And it is.

But my first grade team and I really like to do fun activities and events on Wednesdays because it's early dismissal.  So we can hype the kids up, get them all good and energized and excited, and send them home.

We're no dummies.

Does it matter that the first graders will celebrate the 100th day two days before the kinders?  I don't think so.  I mean, when you think about it, our kinder program is still a half-day-situation which means we have pretty much gone to school for half a year longer than they have anyway.

Right?  So, by my calculations (the kind where no calculator is necessary because you're just guessing and using the numbers to your advantage so that you can win an argument or a particular case), I really don't think the kinders should be celebrating their 100th day until . . . well, hmmmm.  March?  May?

I don't know.  Either way, I don't think the fact that we're having our celebration two days earlier is going to make a bit of difference.

Last year, I shared a little tidbit with you about how I prep a low-maintenance 100th day center.

And several of you thought I was a genius which made me tilt my head and say aw, shucks.

So here's your reminder in case your 100th day is coming up (or if you're like me, and you've decided that it should be on a certain day in the near future because it's convenient, and fits your schedule, and the kids will be none the wiser) and you're making 100th Day Fruit Loop Necklaces.

I don't prep this.  I send it home with a parent to prep, FYI, but I suppose you could prep it if you really felt like you wanted to.  Have the volunteer cut string (or curling ribbon -- that's what I'm doing this year!) to a specified length (I have one from year to year that I use as a sample) and tie off one end with a fruit loop.  Then fill up a baggie with a hand full of fruit loops and put the string inside.

When it's time to make necklaces, you just pass out the baggies.  The strings won't get tangled (this used to happen to me every year before I thought to put them in the baggie) and students will have a bag of fruit loops to begin counting.  I have extra fruit loops on hand if they need more.

The baggie will also come in handy if a child doesn't finish . . . just tell them to put everything into their baggie and finish at home!  

You can grab that 100th day sorting mat over on this blog post {HERE}.

And that's all I've got for you today.

PS We do not keep track of the days because, a few years ago, my former principal told my team and I that we could no longer teach Calendar.  However, even when we did keep track of the days, I could be found adding or subtracting days when the kids weren't looking in order to make the 100th day fall on whatever day I wanted because, hey, I'm the teacher, and who really cares as long as we can all count to 100 and I can get some good pictures for my end of the year video?