I would like to start off by saying that this story has a happy ending.
And I really didn’t lose a kid.
Not in so many words.
But I did have a bit of a rough day last week. And I lost my mind.
Grab a snack and sit back. I’m here with a story for you today. And yes, it is true. And this happened. And I am not exaggerating.
Parent volunteers were coming in for the first time last week. I have two parents a day to help run reading groups with my GIGANTIC CLASS SIZE.
MY GIGANTIC CLASS SIZE IS IMPORTANT IN THIS STORY TELLING.
Because it happened to be the first week of reading groups, things were a bit confusing. For the students. And me. And the volunteers.
Who’s going where? Who’s in what group? When do we switch?
Each volunteer takes their group outside to our lunch benches and/or to the quad where they sit on the grass (one mom even brings a blanket – how cute is that) or under a tree. I stay inside to run my group, plus keep an eye on the kids NOT in a reading group.
Then we switch.
So.
Anyways.
The first groups went out.
I had my group at my teacher table. Lots of phonics and phonemic awareness and reading was completed. Learning was taking place. All was well.
And then it was time to switch.
So we switched.
AND THEN.
One of my kids came back and said So-and-So is in our group and he didn’t come out with us.
So I said So-and-So, your group is outside. Go on.
But nothing happened.
So I said it again.
Still NOTHING.
Because So-and-So was not in our room. And when you have a GIGANTIC CLASS SIZE, it’s easy to overlook someone here and there. Just saying.
I said, to no one in particular, Where’s So-and-So?
The kids at my table were no help. No help whatsoever. There were shrugs and I don’t knows and maybe he’s in the bathroom, but no one knew.
Well. I’ll have you know I remained calm. Because So-and-So is a good boy and it just happened to be his birthday, and I sang happy birthday to him when I saw him in our line that morning, and I knew he was at school. I knew it.
I told my group to continue reading or sounding out or writing on their whiteboard or whatever it was we were doing (I’m sure it was brilliant), and I checked everywhere in our classroom, just to be on the safe side. Our classroom isn’t that big, but maybe he found a secret hiding spot that I didn’t know about.
But So-and-So wasn’t in our room.
So then I looked outside. I mean, maybe he was just loitering. It was a nice day. It’s easy to loiter on a nice day. I do it from time to time. Every now and again.
But nope. Not outside. I sent a boy to check the boy’s bathroom.
Nope.
I walked over to our school library, which is right near our classroom, and popped my head in there.
No.
Then I did start to panic. I did. Because WHERE COULD HE HAVE GONE?! And he’s a good boy. And it was his birthday! And our campus is HUGE. And there are NO HALLWAYS. It’s just all OUTSIDE SPACE. Did he get lost?
Meanwhile, I had a parent volunteer volunteering FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER IN MY CLASSROOM and you know that she was thinking how can this teacher not know where her student is? Should I have my kid pulled from her class? Who exactly is this Mrs. Oldham and how has she been teaching for this many years when she can’t hang onto a child for thirty minutes?
Because, seriously, school had only been in session for thirty minutes. Usually, mishaps occur later in the day, don’t you think? It’s precisely why I have parent volunteers in the morning and not the afternoon because the afternoons tend to be a hot mess.
Well.
I called the office. I had to. I had lost a child. Not to mention, I had lost the entire reading group at my teacher table because they had lost all sense of themselves, and I ended up having to send them back to their seats because there was no way I could teach reading when I needed to go on a search and rescue mission.
One of our secretaries answered my call and said something that was helpful. I don’t remember.
I stood outside my door and fretted. Chewed my nails. Paced a little.
And then my principal came. With her walkie talkie. And she told me not to worry. That we would find him. I told her everything that had transpired up to that point. I reiterated that So-and-So was a good boy and that he wasn’t a Gingerbread Boy. She told me to stay put and not to worry.
All I kept thinking was . . . at what point do we call the police?!
After about five or ten or what felt like AN ETERNITY of minutes, the secretaries did an all-call. That means an announcement was made over the intercom to all the classrooms, and all outdoor areas, such as the playground and walkways and, most likely, the neighborhood houses nearby.
It went something like this: So-and-So, please go back to your classroom. Wherever you are. Go back to your classroom.
It was on the LOUD SPEAKERS OVER THE WHOLE ENTIRE EVERYTHING.
And do you know where So-and-So was?
Do you?
Because I did.
But I forgot.
When So-and-So heard the announcement, he popped right out of the Speech room.
Because that’s where he was.
Speech.
AND I KNEW HE WENT TO SPEECH.
But I forgot.
Here’s how much I knew he went to Speech:
The Speech teacher came into my classroom when I was at my teacher table with my first group. And she said Can I please take So-and-So?
And I said Of course! But then the Speech teacher and I started talking because we tend to do that. And I have a couple of students I’m concerned about and so we spoke “in code” about it.
And then she wrote something down on her hand in pen. And my kids laughed at that, and so did I, and so did she, and we told the kids that they shouldn’t write on their hands.
AND THEN I GAVE THE SPEECH TEACHER A POST-IT. An actual post-it.
And then SHE TOOK SO-AND-SO WITH HER TO SPEECH.
WHICH IS WHERE HE WAS THE ENTIRE TIME.
While I was freaking out. And while I was ready to call 911.
HAVE YOU EVER?!?
I have never.
Until now.
Now I have.
After reading groups, the volunteer who was most likely wondering where and how and why I hold a teaching credential, came into the classroom to pull kids for Accelerated Reader testing on the computer. And while she was doing that, and while I was teaching, the other speech teacher came into my classroom. We have two. Two speech teachers.
Right?! Is this really my fault when we have two speech teachers pull kids out of our classrooms all willy nilly?! Is a grown woman supposed to keep track of all of this when she has a GIGANTIC CLASS SIZE? And she is old? And tired? And teaches first grade all the livelong day every day, except for on the weekends when all she does is work for the class and doesn’t catch up on her sleep most of the time anyway? HUH?! I ASK YOU!
And the other speech teacher said can I take This Girl and That Boy for speech? And I said of course! all smiley, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and secretly hoping the first speech teacher didn’t tell the second speech teacher that I am an idiot.
So after This Girl and That Boy left, I stood up (I was teaching at the carpet and my kids were seated there) and I said to my kids Kids, when I ask you where This Girl or That Boy is, I need you to remind me that they are in Speech. Please. For the love of everything and my mind and my heart, please remind me.
And the parent volunteer in the back of the room laughed so hard that she snorted.
So I think she’s okay with me. I think I made her day.
At recess, I went to the principal’s office (of my own accord, it wasn’t like I was sent there or anything for being an absolute crazy insane person who had lost her mind and forgotten that she had an entire conversation with the speech teacher, thank you very much) and I apologized PROFUSELY for wasting her time. I might as well have bought her a present for how embarrassed I was.
Well, she laughed and laughed too. And she said we all do this.
But do we?
Do we really?
Does anyone know where I can get some Ginkgo-biloba?
Because I need some.
Stat.
Before I forget.
Oh my goodness! This is SO me!! I have done this sooooooo many times. Life savor trick: Make a Where are we board with small magnets with the kids names. Label areas Speech, Nurse, Bathroom, Office, etc. Train them to move their magnet ANY time they leave the room. It has saved my heart and my sanity so many times. Glad everyone recovered! ?
Oh my word. This story just made my day. We all have our own little brain farts sometimes. I remember counting my students on a field trip and was missing one! I panicked until I remembered they stayed home sick that day. Whoops! lol. Thanks for sharing your hilarious stories and keeping it real!!
Amanda
First Grade Garden
Oh wow!! You made my day!!! I’m so sorry that happened to you, but I can relate!!! I think we have so much on our plates it’s crazy!! At our school, all the kids in a grade level leave at the same time every day- it’s called Castle- so wether they are in ESL, speech, SSI or Dyslexia ore group, everyone goes at 12:40. Hence my old brain just has to remember, oh yeah- it’s Castle, so and so is in Cdstle!! Hope the rest of your year goes better!! Chin up!! Winter break will be here before you know it!!
Your story is great! I put the child’s name on the board with the word speech beside it, or clinic, or office, or went home early. We have all “misplaced” children so you aren’t the only one. I tend to “lose” my kids when there is a fire drill and I forget where they went but I know they aren’t with me…
You are the best story teller on the face of the planet.
The end.
=)
Thank you so much!!! You have made my Wednesday !!! Laughing so hard it hurts!
Omg!!! You are not alone!! I had a very similar situation the other day!! I forgot our testing monitor told me she would take my new student from lunch to go finish her testing. Well when I got to my classroom after lunch and I looked around to take attendance, I didn’t see the new sweet girl. And just like your class, nobody spoke up! So I sent a kid on search and rescue first without success so then the principal had to go and found her…testing…because that’s where she was supposed to be…Needless to say today when 4 students were pulled for testing and another was in the office, I wrote all of their names down on a post it and crossed them off as they came back in the room!! So you are not alone!
We have done the exact same thing at our school! Our problem is speech generally pulls from music so when they pull from the regular school day for some reason we totally forget! Now we have learned to ask that in the series of search questions- bathroom? library? speech?
Okay, I never comment, but I need to, because I HAVE DONE THIS, TOO! It happened with one of my grade 1 students. All of a sudden she wasn’t in the room. She was a quiet little girl, but not a flight risk. I looked everywhere in the room in case she was hiding. I calmly asked another girl to go check in the girls bathroom. As I was on my way to the office to report that I had lost a student, I overheard the speech teacher’s voice in the speech room and it *clicked* that my little one must have been in speech. Sure enough, there she was!
My students were always taken to speech at the same time every day, so I had no excuse. I KNEW she was in speech.
Thank you for sharing this. It made me feel much better about forgetting a child was supposed to sit out of p.e. The parents were so nice about it. I just feel old and stupid.
This should be the good thing about a gigantic class size, more kids to remind you where someone is! I hope they get it right next time!
I can SO relate…now if ANYONE takes any child from my classroom, I have them write the student’s name on the board and where they are going…we have so many children pulled for assessments, speech, extra tutoring, etc. etc…that I can’t keep track. Our brains are full!
OMG you are the best! I always look forward to reading your blog no matter how busy I am because you always make me laugh so hard. Yes, this has happened to me too. Age is not a funny thing:)
Hhahahahaha!! I’ve totally done this before!! You’re not alone!!
I’ve forgotten that kids are at speech before. And that is with a reasonable class size. it’s those moments when I’m extremely THANKFUL for those kids that are always minding everyone else’s business! They know everything, and I can count on them to remind me!
Jan
Laughter and Consistency
I’ve totally done this! Now I did remember before we had to do an all call (but truth be told usually just one of my kids reminded me). And I’ve never had a class size as big as yours. So I think the moral of the story is they need to make all the classes smaller…and give us bonuses for each day we get through without losing somebody because it is seriously stressful 🙂
Too funny. A similar thing happened to me today, and I have a (thanking my lucky stars) small class of 18. My kiddo was at the nurse. And I sent him there. With a note. I’m thinking I need to make one of those magnet boards with # magnets from pinterest. 😉
Yes, yes. Just exactly that. Exactly. Speech, all call, principal with the radio. The whole bit. Third graders weren’t any more helpful than your first graders. 🙂
Lose your mind. Lose a kid. Which ever. We are all so emotionally vulnerable when working with the little people that depend on us. Teach long enough and you, my friends, will experience the embarrassment and relief such as this. Bless you for sharing and baring your teacher soul!
Thanks for the laugh. Been there, done that. Who has time to write names in cute bubbles on he board? We are just trying to keep it together.
I am loving your phrase of “all the live long day” because that is when my mind is gone. I gave a kid permission to go to the restroom but because he apparently decided to camp out in there – or take a tunnel to China, I’m not sure which – I totally forgot. So when he eventually made it back to my classroom, I fussed him out about not being able to go wherever he wants whenever he wants – because this is the kid who forgets that the only one who can actually fly by the seat of their pants in third grade is me, the teacher. And he let me fuss. Then when I was good and done, he calmly informs me that I gave him permission to go. I think he enjoyed it. Let’s just say I do not like the taste of crow, especially when it’s a student feeding it to me. Then there was the day I didn’t know a kid was absent. He’s fairly quiet when he comes in every morning so he’s easy to miss. I’m checking penmanship pages – we do penmanship at least 30 minutes after the start of the day – and had some corrections to tell him so I just started talking to him from my desk. My head was down and, contrary to what we want them to think, we do not have eyes in the back or top of our head. I’m just jabbering at him and several students say my name. Which I have programmed myself to ignore. They aren’t getting through to me so they say my name louder, to which I respond with even louder ignoring. Then finally some smart kid realizes saying my name isn’t quite cutting it so they say, “Mrs. Rader, So-in-So isn’t here today.” And I’m all like, “Really? Are you sure?” And it takes me actually leaning over to look at his desk to realize that, nope, he’s not. They haven’t let me live that one down yet.
I may have snorted as I read this…
Your humanity made my day.
This is hilarious and I can see myself doing this. I teach middle school and I’m often saying Where did so and so go? I get annoyed and inevitably they tell me they asked to go and I said yes. And a reliable student confirms that they witnessed it. LOL. Too many things on our minds at once! The panic is worse with the little ones, though.
i am laughing so hard and can so relate!
Oh, thank you for this. Like most of the others who have commented, I too have “lost” a student! What a relief to know I’m not alone. You perfectly described what happens to the brain of someone who teaches in a classroom with TOO MANY STUDENTS! Thank you for sharing!
I experienced something like that my first year of teaching. I now use cups to keep track of where a student went. Blue and pink are for the bathroom. Green is for speech and yellow is for the office, nurse, or an errand. The cups have made my day and knowledge of student where about so much easier. My anxiety has been reduced too.