Last night’s episode was BOOORRRRINGGGG. Seriously, I was practically falling asleep. If last week’s episode should be called “Let’s Pretend You Still Have a Girlfriend And I’ll Fake Cry So We Can Get Fifteen More Minutes of Fame”, then this episode should be called, “Men Doing Stupid Things and Desiree Still Kisses Them”.
Desiree and the boys flew to Atlantic City.
One on One – Brad
Brad was cute. All the guys described him as reserved, nice, and respectable, but not for Des. They rode a bunch of rides on the boardwalk and ate salt water taffy. Then they smelled chocolate so they followed their noses and went into a place they most likely shouldn’t have been, seeing as how it was an industrial kitchen of sorts and no one invited them. The whole thing was completely staged because once they got there, they just took fresh baked chocolate off of a cookie sheet and ate it. I don’t know if it was an attempt to be Hansel and Gretel or something, but it was just so fake. And, no, I am not bitter just because they went on my dream date.
They moved onto the beach and found a sandcastle bench which just happened to be all made up with pillows and stuff. That kind of stuff happens to me all the time. Right away, you could feel doom and gloom. He wasn’t going to be sticking around. Their conversation was stilted – they didn’t have much to talk about. It was aaaakward!
Then Desiree and Brad walked to the top of a lighthouse. Once there, they were out of breath and there was deafening silence. So after climbing all the way up there, she told him she couldn’t give him the rose.
If I’m walking to the top of a lighthouse, Desiree better have some chocolate stashed up there for me.
Brad cried. ON CAMERA. After I said PLEASE DON’T CRY. Poor guy.
Group Date: Mr. America Pageant
It was exactly how it sounds. The guys had to wear a swimsuit, perform a talent, and give an interview.
It was a train wreck. Some of the guys were funny and made me laugh. But not out loud.
Kasey tap danced. Mikey did a sort of strip tease – no surprise there. And Brooks did a weird song that made me determine that I am not a fan of his. I’m just not. I don’t know if you are, but I am not. First, the dramatic broken finger from last week bothered me, and now he had to go and sing a weird song that I couldn’t understand. And let’s not forget his hair.
Nope. Not a fan.
Drew had NICE NICE NICE abs – I had no idea those were under there.
Kasey won first place and played the part accordingly with tears and drama.
Afterwards, they had a pool party. I know, I was shocked by that turn of events, as well.
Chris, a guy who wore high heels for his talent, wrote her a poem and read it to her while they were in the jacuzzi. Then they kissed. It seemed like the natural order of events. Or like I was watching The Bachelorette. Either one.
Ben had his one-on-one time with Des RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER GUYS. GASP. They were not happy. They do not like Ben and neither do I. I think Ben likes himself enough for the rest of us.
Zak W. has some
crazy eyes a guitar and he sings. I think. I’m not sure if he’s an actual singer or if he just dabbles. But he wrote a song for her and so she melted.
Which means . . . Desiree gave the group date rose to . . . Zak W.
It was a helicopter ride. I think we all know how I feel about helicopters. But this time it was for a good cause. They were with the Red Cross and went to observe the damage that Hurricane Sandy did to the Jersey Shore.
They met a cute couple, Manny and Jan, who lost everything and they gave their date away to them. It was special.
I think James is proving to be a man you can take home to mama! I still think he is adorable and I still love how big he is. But my twin, Kerry, (who was watching with me), doesn’t see them together. I’m beginning to think there are some slim pickings in this here crop.
Then they showed the old couple on their date. I didn’t need to see that. Not really. So I fast forwarded a little. I know they got their wedding album back. Somehow through Photo Shop or something. I’m sure it was very special and jerked the tears right out of you, but I just sort of skipped over that part.
James and Desiree had lots to talk about at dinner – there was no lull in the conversation. I think James is extremely cute when he smiles. But he confessed to cheating on his girlfriend in his freshman year of college.
Ruh Roh. He says he will never do that again, but Desiree is a tad bit worried. And so am I. Shake head. So am I.
They had a private concert. They danced. With each other and with the old couple. And they kissed a lot. Desi and James, that is, not Manny and Jan.
It was all about Bryden. Bryden is the military guy who needs to learn how to style his hair. Well, he started thinking about leaving because he was having issues with The Process. And their Faulty Connection. Dun dun dun.
In the end, he decided to stay. She got rid of Zack K. I didn’t know a lot about him so I wasn’t sad.
And that’s it, people.
I told you — BOOOORRRINGGGGG.
It looks like it might liven up a bit in the upcoming episodes – and it looks as if James might be there FOR THE WRONG REASON so I don’t know who I like.
Well, I like Juan Pablo.
And Drew’s abs aren’t too shabby either.
And there’s this other guy who seems really nice and it appears as if he is going to set someone up in a future episode so that Desi knows this other guy is there FOR THE WRONG REASON.
But that’s all I know.
Who do you like? What did you think of this episode?