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A Teeny Tiny Teacher

Firebirds

Happy Saturday!  🙂

Have I told you about our Art Lessons?

Our PTA basically purchased an Art Program.  It’s changed over the years . . . in the old days, the Art Teacher would come to school and teach the teachers how to teach the lesson to their students.  This meant that we were taking an Art Lesson before or after school.  You know.  We had all the time in the world to do so.  We only had 20 kids, for crying out loud.  And it also meant way too many of my friends could see that I don’t have any art skills.  And it usually entailed a teacher or two in tears.  Namely, me.

Last year, they changed it up a bit.  PTA pays for the Art Teacher to come into our classroom and teach the lesson to our kids.

Wow.

That’s good thinking.

It’s almost like I have Specials!

Except that I only get this once a trimester.

And we only have three trimesters.

And I can’t leave the room.

And I have to stay and watch my kids’ behavior with an Art Teacher in the room.

But other than that, it’s like I have Specials!

Thursday was my turn.  We’re all very jealous of each other when it’s someone’s turn.  “Ohhhhh.  You have Art today?  Lucky!”  or “I wish it was my day.” or “That was the best day.”  As you can see, we are just grateful little teachers at my school.

So, the actual Art Teacher came in.  The one who runs this whole program.  She is in charge.  Normally, she just gives the assembly (they learn about the artist at an assembly).  But I guess there was a mix up or something . . . because she was there to do the lesson with my class.

I started off right away by asking if she needed my help.  (Rookie mistake.)

But she said no.  She said it was my hour off.  (Except that I couldn’t leave the room and I thought it might be tacky to take a nap on my classroom rug.)

I busied myself with entering Language Arts Assessments into the Student Responder.  Remember this?

Don’t get me started.  You can read all about how I feel {HERE}.  This time, I was entering 45 questions per 29 students.  You do the math.  My thumbs are numb again and I just can’t do calculations without them.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Art Teacher began her lesson.
I tried to be a fly on the wall.
In between entering data, I heard variations of:
“Sit down.”
“No.”
“Stop talking.”
“Very good, honey!”
“What are you doing?”
“I said, do not touch your paintbrush.”
“I love that, sweetie!”
“You need to work on your listening skills.”
“Your desk is dirty.  Gross.”
“Your finger is not a tissue.  Get a tissue.”
“I’m mean.  Listen up!”
“Great painting, love.”
It was like whiplash.
Two kids cried.  I can’t blame them.  The meanest I get is . . . um, let’s see here.  Sometimes I say, “You need to make a better choice.”  Ow.
Anywho . . . as I entered data, I cringed inwardly.  At Mrs. Art Teacher’s management plan (if you can call it that) and my kids’ behavior.  I think one was the product of the other.  And I think Mrs. Art Teacher does not like first graders.  Or she’s not used to teaching the lesson because she normally does not.  But I think it’s the former.
My two boys with special needs sort of blend in.  And they don’t have aides anymore.  So she had no clue for a large part of the lesson.
When the lesson called for painting a duck’s head green, one of my special friends started painting his red.  I mean, why not?  A duck is like a bird and if you paint it red,  you have the red angry bird.  Which is he obsessed with.  OBSSESSED.
So I hear . . .
“No!  Not red!  What are you doing?!  Stop.  We are using green!  Red?  Red?  We are making mallard ducks, not firebirds!”
Which led my other special friend at a different table to laugh out loud.  Guffaw, if you will (that is the best word for what he did).  “Hahahahahah!!  Firebird!  We’re not making firebirds!  Hahhhaahhhahhhaaaaa!”
Which led to one of my very nerdy super smart boys at another table to say, “Well, actually, er, uh, a firebird is actually called a Phoenix.”
I started laughing.
I mean, the whole thing was really funny to me.  (Other than the fact that Mrs. Art Teacher was being mean to one of my kids.  Who has special needs.  The best part is that stuff like that doesn’t bother him in the least.  He is in his own little world and he was very proud of his red angry bird.  He did not want to make a Mallard duck.)
I was trying not to laugh in an obvious way, but Mrs. Art Teacher said, “Hey!  Back there!  No laughing!”
And when I looked up to see who was laughing, she was looking at me!
My Art Lesson Day was not that fun.
To top it all off, I went to the lounge at last recess.  You know, to take care of personal needs.  And I started talking to a parent in there (because remember we have that kind of school and parents are in our lounge ALL THE TIME) about our Student Responders.  I said how great it was that I had just had my Art Lesson so that I could enter all my data.
Well, Miss La Di Dah Art Teacher happened to be there and do you know what she said?
She said, “Oh!  I thought you were on your phone.”
Do you like my new phone?
And can you believe she thought I was on my phone for AN HOUR?
This whole experience has led me to the conclusion that if I am ever in someone else’s class in a teaching capacity, I will ask the teacher in charge if there are any students I need to be aware of who have special needs of any kind.  In a whisper voice, obviously.

Comments

  1. Patty Rutenbar says

    Kristen,
    I loved reading about your fake "special" because there was nothing "special for your kids" about it.
    That's awful treatment. Where did they get this art teacher from? And why do you only get it once a trimester? ( actually it's probably a good thing she only comes three times a year!)
    Also a good thing that you were sitting in there. Maybe the admin know she can't be trusted to be by herself.
    I'm sad to hear that you don't have specials. We are guaranteed 90 minutes a day ( which sometimes averages out per week) in our district in Michigan. In love my job, but I live for my specials! That break in the day is very worth it.
    Hang in there. You probably don't need to see her for several months now!
    Patty
    2ndinline.blogspot.com

  2. Jill says

    The art lesson sounds like a nightmare, if only we had time to be on our phones for an hour.

    I hope you have fun with your mom, and that her recovery is quick.

    Happy Saturday, for me 10 more days
    JIll

  3. Miss Kindergarten says

    Umm…all I can say is that I feel privileged to call such a talented person my friend!! I think this is the best post you've written, and man, you've had some great posts! I swear if someone doesn't contact you to write a book, there is something seriously wrong with this world!! P.S. I woke up at 10 😉

  4. Kristen says

    I agree with Hadar on the book–reading this was the best part of my morning! You had me laughing from the very beginning!

    Sorry to hear about your not-so-special…that really does stink. I hope you have a lovely weekend though!

  7. Mrs. Youel says

    So sorry to hear your kids had to go thru that, as well as you don't have Specials!!! 🙁 We have resource each day, and it's different every day: Music, Art, Library/Media, P.E….and then our FANTASTIC Resource teachers came up with "Fox Friday", where they all work together, every class meets in the gym (for that grade level) and they incorporate all the different resources into one 40 minute period!

    Chrissy
    Adventures in Second Grade

  8. Mrs. Youel says

    Hmm..realized that sounded like bragging…sorry…..you should get your school board to bring back at least weekly "specials" for your school! And fire that Art Teacher! 😛

    –Chrissy

  9. Heather's Heart says

    I love firebirds and the kiddos who think outside of the box. We made bluebonnets not that long ago and one little person did his own thing that I bet Art Teacher would have been rude about.

    Being on the phone for a hour cracked me up because we had an aide once that would sit in the corner of the room with her coat over her head talking on the phone….and laughing and cussing!

    Your kiddos are so blessed to have you! I would love to be a fly on the wall in your classroom. =)

    Heather
    Heather's Heart

  10. Rachelle says

    WoW! What an art lesson you had!!!

    But, once again, it made me laugh!!!!

  11. Rachel Lamb says

    well, again I chuckle aloud as I read. Though I can barely handle my own students right now! I would give anything for an hour…just not in the room. At least you were in there, Can you imagine how'd she been if you WEREN'T!

  12. Elizabeth says

    Can you believe people like said "art teacher" are allowed near children? I just don't get how or why someone with such a bad attitude would want to spend time with children. We have a few folks of that nature on my staff and just being near them makes me cringe. You were smart to busy yourself with your phone {wink} so as to not jump up and slap the woman.

    Just sayin'

    Elizabeth

    Fun in Room 4B

  15. Chrissy says

    LOLOLOL! That is SUCH a pretty phone! J/K!

    I wish you had an art break more often. If you ever feel desperate, check out the lessons I've done as my K/1 duty. They are all tied to children's literature. 🙂 ReadWriteSing

  17. Kelley Cirrito says

    You don't have specials??? We have two specials a day!! I can't imagin not having specials. Your kids don't have library or pe?? When do you get your plan time if you don't have specials??

  18. Traci says

    OMG…. just simply OMG…
    You did not have a sarcastic comment to the phone comment? I'm bad. I probably would have. AND she told you 'No Laughing'? hahahaha
    Hilarious, Kristin. FAN.TAB.U.LOUS post!
    BTW Angry birds and Firebirds are way cooler than mallard ducks!
    helllooooo art teacher!

  19. Jenn Bates says

    We have a parent situation similar to yours and we finally asked for a rule that no parents could be in the staff lounge during recess or lunch so teachers could have a little breathing room.

    Sorry your "special" time wasn't so special.

    Jenn
    Finally in First

  21. Miss Squirrels says

    Our Art teacher is awesome! The every class gets to see him once every eight days.
    He is on a cart and he comes to us- we are hoping that he has a room next year.
    It's funny to watch him with them- he was high school teacher before he came to us.
    They thing he is super cool though:)
    Staci

    Going Nutty!

    misssquirrels@yahoo.com

  22. Laurel Frazier says

    You know, she is probably a great artist, or an OK artist with good adult PR and management skills (note I said adult) in order to run that kind of program. Maybe she decided to take your class that day at the last minute- maybe her regular, prescreened, experienced, loves kids teacher called in sick or something? Your lady probably thought, like many adults do, how hard can it be, it's just a room full of cute little kids. She found out!

  23. Jen R. @ The Teachers' Cauldron says

    ok, I am juts amazed that y'all don't have specials…umm….how do you get your planning time??? how has your union not fought this?? so the only break you get all day is lunch??
    I feel ya on the entering test answers – we have to do the same thing….but our are on paper…but still – bleh!! we have to enter what every single kid puts as their answer – boohoo 🙁

  24. Patty Rutenbar says

    I just realized that Bachelorette starts tomorrow!! I can't wait…but even more so are you going to don your Talk About it Tuesdays again? I would love you too, because I know many of us want to hear your take on it.
    Patty
    2ndinline.blogspot.com

  25. Heidi Butkus says

    That's too funny!!!! And she thought you were on your phone!!!
    OMG, what a day! Your poor kids! That would drive me nuts. Sometimes, I would rather be in charge than be in the room and let someone else teach while my hands are tied.
    Heidi Butkus
    http://heidisongs.blogspot.com

  26. Donna says

    Well…. we HAVE specials.. woo hooo, sometimes! Our art teacher is a little bit like your librarian… in that you wonder why, why, why are you working with elementary students when its obvious you don't really like kids? Maybe she couldn't make it as an artist so she decided to teach…. after all don't 'they' say "those who can, do… and those who can't, teach" in her case I believe it. Maybe that's true for your art lesson lady too.

  27. Miss Kindergarten says

    Loved this just as much as I did the first time! Except I had better visuals this time around 😉 hope you're having fun!!

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