I am back from Texas. Yeehaw. I mean, yeehaw.
Sorry. I really can’t find the haw to my yee because I really wasn’t ready to come home. However, my older sister picked me up from the airport and then came home with me for a girl’s night. We ordered pizza, drank wine, and watched The Bachelorette.
Which is our topic for the day.
First, I’d like to say I’m really glad that even though Emily was sick, she didn’t go on and on about it. That’s my type of girl. She just kept on trucking.
One-on-one: Sean got it. I had said earlier that I needed to see about him – I wasn’t too sure. So this was a perfect opportunity for
Here’s where I need to interject and tell you that I’ve been to London. Yes, I’m fancy. Lah-di-dah. And I loved all the
old stuff history and architecture. But, don’t get mad at me, especially my friend/follower/commenter/blogger that lives there right now, but . . . the people weren’t as friendly as I was hoping they would be. I tried to talk to all of them. Anyone. Anywhere. All the time. On the tube (that’s the subway, in case you don’t speak British) and in the loo (that’s the restroom) and in the pubs (bars). And no one would engage with me. My hubs kept telling me to quit trying, but I tried all the way up until we left. And then the driver in the taxi (cab) that took us to the airport to leave London finally had a conversation with me. I was really disappointed with my experience until we got to Italy where the people accepted me with open arms, and wanted to practice their English on me, and invited me to stay in their homes, and wanted to swap houses, and wanted me to meet their family, etc.
Where were we?
Sean and Emily went on a double decker bus. Sean gave a super sweet speech (I wish I had found that place while I was there!) and they ended the date with dinner at the Tower of London. I’m really glad Sean and Emily didn’t have to climb the tower or anything else for their dinner. Or be-head one another. Just saying.
I have decided that I like Sean. Most definitely.
Back at the house— Kalon was a little snarky about how if you’re on a date with Emily, it will always be a group date because Rickie will be there. I couldn’t decide how he meant it. Rude? Mean? Factual? However, Jef and Arie decided from the get-go that it was TERRIBLE. Jef was ANGRY.
Group Date–Romeo and Juliet Play
Hooray! A play! The boys auditioned which looked fun. But then.
Arie had to be a nurse. I decided that I am finally getting what some of you are saying about Arie’s face. It’s a little pinched-looking. I see it. And on the group date, it was almost purple. Relax. Have fun. No one’s watching, for goodness sake (just me.)
Travis was funny. I appreciated the fun he was having, but I don’t see Emily picking him. I just don’t. What are your thoughts?
Kalon– BORING! BOOOORRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGG. He was taking it way too seriously! And then he told Emily to run along so he could keep rehearsing!!!! ROAR! NO! You’re fired! Romeo, Romeo,
where for art thou JUST SHUT UP, KALON!
I couldn’t believe how nervous and anxious Arie was about performing in front of others. I couldn’t relate to his fear AT ALL. I don’t get stage fright. I just get afraid when I think I may not get a turn to do something like that.
Doug also had to be a woman in the play, but he was being a good sport. You know, he’s a dad. So that’s why.
Ryan got to be the Romeo that kissed Emily. And he had to have a do-over. My sister and I were grossed out. I can’t believe how far off of Ryan I am now. When I have to watch him, it’s like someone is making me watch The History channel or something. Or the news. Or commercials. It’s that bad.
Arie and Emily wasted no time and just started making out. Right along with Emily’s illness. It was delightful. Kiss, smack, snort, sniffle, hack, kiss, and repeat.
Ryan gave Emily a turquoise necklace. And a wink. Shudder.
Then we had the whole guy drama. Chris said he heard this-and-that, and so then another guy had to ask so-and-so, and then they played a big ole game of telephone tag.
When it was Doug’s turn, he immediately hung up the phone and went straight to Kalon to ask him about . . . DUN DUN DUN . . . THE BAGGAGE COMMENT.
And, Kalon, being the stand up guy that he is, bought it, owned it, and decided to keep it forever. He said it. Yep. (and several of you thought that’s exactly who did say it so kudos to you. I don’t actually have any kudos, though.)
Doug practically tripped over his own feet trying to get to Emily to tell her all about it.
Emily was very upset. As well she should be. It’s not like Kalon didn’t know who Emily was. And that she had a child. So she said she felt like going “West Virginia-Hood Rat-Back Woods on his a**” which made me crack up. Although I’m not quite sure what that means. I understood what Taylor from the Real Housewives of Orange County meant when she said she would go “Oklahoma” on Kim so I’m assuming it’s sort of the same thing. But actually, I’m accustomed to going Oklahoma-Where The Wind Comes Sweeping Down The Plains-And Waving Wheat on your Behind. (You are not allowed to say bad words in Oklahoma.) Anyways, do you have something similar where you live when someone makes you mad?
All of a sudden, Doug is the host. I don’t know what he did with Chris Harrison, but Doug brought Emily into the room where the guys were and asked for everyone’s attention. Clink clink the glass. Clear throat.
Emily was on a roll. The best thing she said to Kalon was to let her finish. Followed up with, “I love to hear you talk, but not until I’m done. I got that line from you.” FINALLY.
See ya Kalon. Buh-bye.
After all that, Emily had another one-on-one.
Jef, aka Duckie, was the lucky guy. They had to go to etiquette class. It was not fun. I don’t think Jean, the teacher, would appreciate the way I eat Cadbury mini eggs (I suck all the chocolate off), or ice cream (I like to turn the spoon upside down), or cheesecake (I don’t share).
Jef was very charming. Two lines that caught my attention were “If Rickie is baggage, then she’s a Chloe.” (I’m assuming that’s a nice bag.) And “I want someone to share the details with.” Be still, my heart.
Is that why she’s so into him? I just don’t get it.
They had dessert in the London Eye– thank goodness they didn’t have to climb it, or jump off of it, or land on it, or dance on it.
They kissed. Awwwww. I mean, eewwwwww.
Cocktail party — It was all about the guys having or not having Emily’s back. To be or not to be.
Most guys felt bad. Most guys felt worried.
And then there was Ryan. What was he wearing? And that balconey scene? Come on. COME ON. She’s into him again. WHY? WHY?? WHY???
Sean–she knew she could count on him. That was good. They’re good together. I think I’m all about Sean now. For reals. All About Sean.
Rose Ceremony: Doug got the first rose. I think it’s because he hung up the telephone. And then beat Kalon over the head with it.
We had to say goodbye to Alejandro, Alejandro, don’t call my name, Alejandro. I am thinking he’ll be okay and he’ll end up with Lady Gaga.
He did have nice things to say about Emily and he held himself in check. No tears.
Speaking of tears, I’m really glad that Emily hasn’t been crying through all of these episodes. Ashley and Ali would have cried a river or two by now. And been in bed under the covers a few times already.
Next week, they’re off to Croatia.
Thank you for all the book recommendations and the TpT advice.
I went with a book that my friend, Sheri, recommended. It’s called The Language of Flowers and it is REALLY GOOD. In the meantime, I think I’ve read every other book you suggested except for the Janet Evanovich books. I wasn’t in the mood for laughing. I know. How strange. And I know you’re not supposed to judge a book by it’s cover, especially on a Kindle app for the iPad, but I did.
And I ended up with The Language of Flowers.
And a Jennifer Weiner book. I do not have last name envy with her. Let’s be clear.
I have no idea how to end this post.
So see ya.