Okay I apologize.
I was living it up in Oklahoma. Kerry, and our friend, Caryn, were all set for me to blog from the hotel room and guess what?
It wasn’t free. It was $12.95. For wifi.
And, I’m sorry, but it wasn’t worth it. Especially because we saw Snow White and the Huntsmen for only $4. You can’t beat that. Well, maybe you can, but you need to leave me the name, address, and directions below. Then we had the Olive Garden for free because I had gift cards. And our hotel was free because my brother-in-law travels and we used his Marriott points. So spending $12.95 on wifi seemed very extravagant. I told Caryn that she should contribute to it since we took care of the food and hotel, but it turns out we’re not as close as I thought we were.
I am proud to say that we went to the hotel bar and ordered drinks for our birthdays.
Sadly, we were not carded. We had to drown our sorrows.
The last thing any of us can remember is Caryn dancing on the tables. We are afraid we might end up in a tabloid magazine. Again.
We are back in Texas. There is a huge rainstorm going on. The kind we don’t get in California. I am loving it. LOVING IT. Now everyone is
trapped happily at home, in pjs, watching movies, and blogging. I may be the only one in heaven.
Onto the Bachelorette!
What a great episode!
Let’s just dive right in, shall we?
He needs to lighten up. Like, a lot. Like, just calm down, man. I mean, like, it’s just a joke.
Anyone else notice his overuse of the word like? And he’s mature? Okaaaay.
So off they go. Shopping. But first, he says, “Are we shopping?” and then he says, “Are we sampling?”. It was kind of annoying. Like, are you irritating me? Like, more than anything.
I was also annoyed with the whole Superman/Best Man Ever routine.
He did what I did during my interview for my current school when the principal asked me to name a weakness. Well, I hemmed and hawed and then said that I just work too hard and needed to find another hobby besides school.
Shake head. Throw up a little.
Or pat myself on the back. Can’t decide.
Emily gave him a rose anyway. But he’s not going to kiss her. Nope. He never makes the first move.
Like, never ever.
Group Date: sailing
Did anyone else notice that Ryan just kind of sat on the boat and didn’t have to do anything? Isn’t he supposed to be physical? And strong? And manly? Because if I was on that boat, I would have been the one steering. And I think that’s what he was doing. And isn’t that what Arie does? Steers? Hmmmmmm…..
Yellow team won. Poor red.
Arie wasted no time. They made out. Smack. Insert other gross kiss noises here.
She wanted Jef to kiss her, but he didn’t.
Ryan was … a jerk. I’m not a fan.
I wanted to be, but I am over him. He is kind of a chauvinistic pig. And I wish Emily had not apologized to him about kissing Arie. She’s the Bachelorette. He’s not.
I couldn’t stand all of his “to whom much is given, blah blah blah.”
The two on one: Awkward!!!!!
What was wrong with Nate? Why the tears? I think Emily has a weepy effect on the boys. She could be used as a weapon of mass destruction in wars—the men would all end up crying and go home. It’s crazy.
So, of course she didn’t pick Nate. He cried.
She kept Wolf. Because his name alone makes it seem as if he would never cry. Maybe just howl every once in a while at a blue moon.
Rose Ceremony: Chris is all up in arms about the whole age thing. And he’s onto Ryan. He doesn’t know what it is exactly, but he feels it. I wanted to tell him that we feel it, too!!! Chris, we feel it, too!!
Turns out that Ryan thinks he could be the next bachelor.
Bwhaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I would like to see how that goes over.
I think not.
I must take a survey! Survey to follow!!!
She got rid of ponytail boy. Who did not say two words this whole time. But he cried. Another one succumbs to tears.
Then we have to say goodbye to Charlie. I called that one awhile ago. And he cried, too! She’s three for three!
And that’s all. Next week, someone calls Rickie baggage. And Emily is furious. Who do you think does that????
And do you think Ryan could be the next bachelor???
I leave you with those two important questions.
And I’ll just sit here in my pjs, listening to the thunder, and wait for your responses. Then I will compile the data and make graphs and charts. Or I’ll ask someone smart to do it for me.