So I semi-survived a rainy day back after a three day weekend.
I say semi-survived because I decided to sing Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes with my kids and, in doing so, I sped it up as usual which made my long, flowing, paid-for blond locks whip back and forth so fast that they got in my new contacts so then I couldn’t see and then I cried my eye make-up off. If you do not know this song, nor sing this song, I highly recommend it but either cut your hair off or wear it in a pony.
But you don’t want to hear about that . . .
I can’t believe it was already time for the Hometown Dates! This season is flying by!
1. AshLee – Houston, TX
Sean told us that he knew he had to really focus on their date because AshLee told him that she loved him on last week’s episode. In fact, she screamed it at the top of her lungs. I am still worried for her . . . I don’t think she’s it. But as soon as she said that he will “protect her heart”, I had horrible memories of Casey’s (Jake and Vienna’s season) infamous tattoo, “I will guard and protect your heart.” You, too, can have these same memories but you have to say it in Casey’s weird voice or the horrible memories won’t flare up like mine.
Lunch with AshLee’s parents was super pretty. They sat outside.
AshLee got emotional talking about the Polar Bear Plunge and then pretty much gave an ABC audition for The Bachelor in creating metaphors for submerging and re-emerging and leaving things in the water and coming out refreshed and wet and cold . . . or something like that. Whatever it was she said, it was perfect for the Bachelor.
2. Catherine – Seattle, WA
They went to that famous Pike’s Fish place. I think it’s called Pike’s Fish. I don’t know. Not really. The Real World was filmed there once. Anyways, I once watched a motivational video on that fish market before a new school year started and it was absolutely amazing. We were throwing kids back and forth that whole year. Sean caught a lot of fish. In a row! Of course. 🙂
Catherine is a fun girl – you could totally tell that Sean was having a great time with her while they walked around on the wharf. It was very natural. (Whereas AshLee’s date was more subdued and grown up.)
Lots of women in Catherine’s family.
(As an aside, I LOVE LUMPIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY WORD —- SO GOOD! If you haven’t tried it, I highly recommend it because I’m the world’s pickiest eater and I can eat about sixteen of these in a row. That’s an exaggeration on my part and not a specific amount no matter what my hubby tells you.)
Catherine’s sisters were a little bit of a killjoy. If my sister brought home Sean, I would have had my makeup and hair professionally done, as well as a stylist dress me, and then maybe I would have asked Sean to let me sit on his back while he did a push up. Is that being a killjoy? I don’t think so!
Sean couldn’t get the mom’s blessing . . .
3. Lindsay – An Army Base somewhere in Missouri
Sean and Lindsay walked around the town, having fun, eating cupcakes, drinking beer – my kind of date! Sean was really nervous to meet the General. He didn’t know what to call him . . . but then Lindsay took Sean to task with push ups and sit ups and other army things. It was hilarious. I was cracking up. “KISS ME HARDER!” Haha!
This date made me really like Lindsay.
Lindsay’s mom was reallyreallyreally nice. And her dad gave a big long speech about jumping out of airplanes, and landing on the ground, and finding out where you are, or where you might not be, and then he gave his blessing. Awwww. The general ended up being very down to earth. Much like my father in law, a retired Marine Sergeant. For real. Except that he would have had to have been bleeped an awful lot if he’d been on TV. . .
4. Desiree – Los Angeles, CA
They went hiking which Sean liked because he keeps saying he’s an outdoorsy guy and active. (Would he think a patio couch outdoors and channel surfing is active enough?)
They went back to Desiree’s apartment and some man showed up to tell Desiree that he still loved her. Meanwhile, Desiree couldn’t keep from smiling because it was a big fat joke. And you all called it! I thought it would be Sean’s prank, but it was Desiree’s! Just like you all said.
Then Desiree’s parents and brother came over. There was lots of laughter. Except brother was extremely skeptical. And a bit of a tough guy. He had a big ole chip on his shoulder. Sean could have knocked it off with his big gigantic muscles, but he was ever the gentleman. Brother thought Sean was a bit of a playboy and told him so. It was very tense and awkward.
Poor Sean. He felt riled up. And unhappy. I just wanted to hug Sean and make it all better.
Poor Desiree. What was up with the siblings last night?? GEESH.
Rose Ceremony: Desiree asked to speak to Sean right before he handed out the first rose. She just wanted to apologize for her brother one more time. And, of course, Sean made her feel better.
Is it just me or he is the best bachelor ever?
AshLee got the first rose. Wow. I did not expect that. Lindsay got the second rose. Called it. No one heard me call it, but I did.
When it came to the final rose, Sean sort of had a freak out. He left the girls hanging while he went back into the staging room to stare at their pictures in the frames instead of seeing them face to face.
And then . . . he gave the rose to Catherine.
My jaw is still on the floor, people. On the floor.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really liked Desiree!!!!! I did!!!!!!!!
Oh DESI!! WAAAA!! 🙁
Stupid brother. Will he ruin her chance for being the next bachelorette? I wonder.
Sean and Desi’s goodbye outside the limo . . . heartbreaking.
Seriously. Really sad. I was glad there wasn’t a balconey nearby or we may have run the risk of a Jason Mesnick scene. Instead, Sean just kept his hands in his pockets and stared at the ground like a MANLY MAN. And then he sat on a bench. And I think he prayed.
And then it was over, except that . . . SEAN TELLS ALL is coming on tonight!!!! With never before seen footage!! I’m so excited!
I can’t promise a Talk About It Wednesday. We’ll see. But no promises here.
I need rest, people. And I need Murphie not to pee so much.
Final Three – Lindsay, Catherine, and AshLee.
Who do you predict for the final two?