I have to start this post by telling you that I watched The Bachelorette late at night. And I was tired.
And it was booooorrrrriiiiinnnggggg.
Or I was bothered. Or something. So I apologize in advance if this post is not exciting. I seriously did not have enough to work with. It’s not my fault. It’s ABC’s. It has nothing at all to do with my age.
The boys arrived in Venice, and Andi shocked them all by saying the first date was a one-on-one and that it would begin right then and there. Everyone thought it would be Cody because he was the only one who hadn’t had a one-on-one yet . . . and as the music built up, more and more guys said they knew it would be Cody and not them, and it became a foregone conclusion that Andi was going to throw a curveball. I mean the music told it all.
Sure enough, she invited Nick out with her. It was a chance for him to redeem himself and not be salty. I have to admit I forgot all about that adjective/noun/emotion until I was watching this week’s episode. I have to remember to use it this week in my daily conversation.
It was so weird to watch the episode knowing I had been right there in Venice and what a great time the hubby and I had for our ten year anniversary. I really wanted to make this whole post about that . . . but I know what I’m really here for. No worries.
Except to say that when I was in a gondola with my husband, it did not look like we were on a roller coaster and/or about to capsize like Nick and Andi’s gondola. Ours was very calm. And our guy sang. For real. And my hubby complained a few times about the camera we brought with us that was starting to die and I told him we were in the middle of a romantic moment and to stop worrying about the camera and to kiss me already.
There. That’s all I’ll say.
Yes, he kissed me.
Nick and Andi went to dinner in some unbelievable masquerade hall that was really romantic and the music built to a crescendo as if we were in a Disney Princess movie. The only problem? It was with Nick. I do not think he is her prince. No.
I am not a fan. If you are a Nick fan, please tell me and then explain your reasons so I can get on board. Right now, I’m not on board. I am not even playing.
He talked a lot. A lot, a lot, a lot. And he told her he was definitely falling in love with her. Andi fell for it all and gave him the rose.
Then I was over it and sort of tuned out. You’ll have to let me know if I missed something.
Next up was the group date. The boys had to take a lie detector test.
Dun dun dun.
Josh was acting very nervous. Very.
Some of the questions:
Are you ready for marriage?
Do you want kids?
Are you good in bed?
Have you slept with more than 20 people?
Do you wash your hands after you use the bathroom?
Are you here for the right reasons?
Are you Andi’s secret admirer?
At this point, it was edited in such a way that they made it seem as if Dylan said no, he doesn’t wash his hands after he uses the bathroom.
And then, unexpectedly, Dylan got sick and had to go back to the hotel. It was from out of nowhere. I’m still confused by that one.
We found out Chris is Andi’s secret admirer.
Three men told no lies.
One man told two lies.
Two men told three lies.
Now that could turn into a math problem if your heart so desired. Talk about inspiration!
Andi told two lies. Italy is not her favorite country and she does not believe all the guys are here for the right reasons. However, rather than look at the guys’ results, she tore them up and threw them away. Awwww. There was a lot of talk about trust and . . . well, belief in one another and some other gross stuff.
Let’s all be clear . . . I would have gone back and pieced those torn bits of paper back together again when no one was looking.
Later, they went to have a little cocktail party and Brian was flirty and he stepped up. It was cute. It was surprising, but cute. I do like Brian.
Marcus spent his time telling Andi he loved her and making me want to throw up. It’s just too serious and desperate. LIGHTEN UP ALREADY, Marcus.
Josh wore a little scarf again. I don’t know about the scarf. Neither did Andi because she got her little attitude and chip on her shoulder and pouty lip thing going . . . when Josh said something like then I wouldn’t be here, Andi came right back with No, you wouldn’t be with a little bit of a head shake and possible finger pointing because don’t ya know she is the one in control.
Then during her interview, she cried about how she wished she had opened the results of the lie detector tests and how she is putting her life on hold and how she is just so confused. I’d feel sorry for her if I had a sympathetic heart for someone who gets paid to travel the world and date cute boys, but sadly, I don’t.
Chris told her he was her secret admirer. Or rather, she guessed. Chris got the rose.
JJ got a little salty and said he was sick of everyone congratulating whoever got the rose each time and there was a bit of drama, but it was decided that you should just do you. You do you and you do you and you do you.
Man, a Yoohoo sure sounds good.
Cody got the next one-on-one and he and Andi went to Verona. They got to read and respond to Juliet letters. Cody was actually very good at it and it made me wonder if the producers helped him. I mean, he was really good.
They went to dinner later and Cody wrote a Juliet letter himself and read it aloud to Andi. It was very sweet.
But I felt uncomfortable because it seemed so one-sided. Cody was fawning all over her and she was just acting as if he was a little puppy dog or a little boy . . .
And then Andi couldn’t hide her emotions or lack of feelings for Cody because she started to cry. She finally interrupted Cody’s big ole speech and said they had more of a friendship and she couldn’t take him to next week. She said she respected him too much.
So she let him go. And she cried a lot. I saw this coming, people. Cody is sweet and nice and kind . . . but not for Andi.
At the cocktail party, Nick grabbed Andi first after she had barely said hi to anyone. Nick already had a rose so the guys were not happy about it, but Andi ATE IT UP. She said they had barely made it around the corner when Nick grabbed her to kiss her and she said, “That is a man. That is a MAN.”
Which I get. I get that. I like a strong man. But at the same time, a GENTLEMAN is also nice to have around, too. Just saying.
Josh tried to re-explain his position about the lie detector test because he was worried. They were kind of at a stand still. It didn’t really go anywhere.
I still love Josh. Mad crush. I think he’s handsome, sweet, and respectful. And bonus: a Former Pro Baseball Player.
Chris Harrison sat down with Andi and they rehashed everything that had happened up until now. What is this? Is this new? We just saw this! What in the world?
Seriously, have we done these little “sum it up” interviews before?
She gave the very last rose to Josh (phew!) and sent home JJ.
Poor JJ. JJ was sad. So was Andi, of course.
Those pants were made for walking and that’s just what they’ll do. He was very sweet and took it well.
Next week: Andi and the boys go to Brussels.
And that was it.
No big drama. Nothing too exciting. Just some saltiness and pouty lips and a lot of tears.
That’s all I’ve got, folks.
What did you think??