Let’s Rap

It was 100 degrees here today, people.  

That is entirely too hot, especially since I wore Uggs to school last Monday and called 911 for a pregnant woman who slipped in the rain. 

By the way, she had her baby on Saturday and he is perfect.  Absolutely perfect and he has the best lips.  🙂  

Anywho, no recesses for me today.  Or the kids.  We were miserable until the identical twins shared their Wanted Posters today.  Our Wanted Posters are a Fun Family Homework Project that I assume most families do not have fun making, but they have to endure the process because we hang them up at Open House.  I’ve learned that Posters On Display bring out the glitter and stickers even if you’re not having fun with your family.

So one of the twins shared his Fascinating Fact from his poster.  

He can rap.

Of course we had to hear it.  Or, at least I did, so I got the kids to start a chant so it seemed like they did.  The twins came up and did a wonderful rendition of a completely inappropriate rap song that shall remain nameless because I should have been quicker on my feet and stopped it.  But, seeing as how my feet had melted off on our hot blacktop, I wasn’t that quick.

The class clapped and clapped.  They were thrilled.  Much like Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory when he learned that Howard can do fun impersonations for Dungeons and Dragons.

Then one of my more serious boys (We will call him NotaTwin) raised his hand quite politely, especially for this time of the year.  So I called on him.

And NotaTwin said, “I thought they were going to do a different kind of rap.”  In no way did that declaration emphasize the fact that he is the Police Officer of our class and, on principle, does not think the twins are as much of a hit as the rest of us do.  Not at all.  Even though I saw an eyeroll, he wasn’t really bothered.  He may not have clapped, (I mean, that’s so beneath him) but he was perplexed.

I wondered if NotaTwin thought the twins were going to do hip hop or something.  Maybe, being of a religious type, he thought they were going to do a rap that included angels or clouds or heaven.  

I said, “What kind of rap did you think they were going to do?”

NotaTwin replied, “You know – like . . . (insert hand movements) . . . wrap a birthday present.  Like that.”  This was said as if the rest of us were just plain ridiculous and his last gesture of tying-the-bow-just-so made his point perfectly.  Tie.  Pull.  Measure the ends.

I tried really hard not to laugh.

But I did.

Silently.  

With tears.

And no sound.

NotaTwin was not amused.