Talk About It Tuesday

Okay, usually I try to come up with something about my day before just launching into Talk About It Tuesday, but I’ve got nothing except the usual I’m hungry, I ate all the Girl Scout cookies yesterday, I searched up and down the block looking for a girl scout to sell me some more AND I COULDN’T FIND ONE.


Now, before we begin, I want it to be known that I received a link about how Kelsey is being portrayed (thank you, Patty!).  And it’s a good read.  And I agree with a lot of it.  That being said, I wrote most of this last night while I was watching the show and I’m just reporting what I saw.  But, if you’d like to read the article, click {HERE}.


Alright!  Let’s get to the good stuff!

Kelsey was on the floor, crying, gasping, oh, oh, ooohhhing, wah, wah, wahing, but rest assured that she was not in any pain (she said so herself).  She said she thought she was having a panic attack.

She was given oxygen.  OXYGEN.

 And then she was laughing while crying for Chris and saying that she better get a rose.  All while laughing.  With an oxygen mask on her face.

Chris came to her rescue.  He was a much better person than I am, though, because I would have been rolling my eyes until they fell out of my head.  Fell out of my head, I said.  

Once Chris came, she was all better.  ALL BETTER.  

BUH BYE.

Kelsey went back to the girls (who were not amused or sympathetic or buying it or catching what she was throwing or picking up what she was putting down) and she just talked and giggled and laughed and smiled.  

It was weird!

It was just so off. 

Kelsey was pretty positive (deliriously so) that she was getting a rose, that was she the one, that this was the start of it all.

Chris held the rose ceremony next.

Ashley cried and cried and cried.  I am so sick of her.  She needs to buck up already.  

When there was just one rose left (thank you, Chris Harrison, I had lost count and wasn’t sure if that was one rose left on the platter or sixteen), Kelsey still hadn’t received one.  Meanwhile, Mackenzie, the 21 year old, said if she didn’t get a rose, she didn’t think she would ever be able to get over it.   Ever. 

The rose went to Kelsey.

I KNOW!  Come on, Chris!  Really!!!  REALLY?  

So now Mackenzie is going to spend the majority of her life pining over Prince Farming.  And/or she will get asked to the prom next week and forget all about him.  It’s definitely a toss up.

Chris and the ladies headed to Deadwood, South Dakota.  Chris had a little photo shoot before the ladies arrived.

Oh, Steve does this kind of thing all the time.

Kelsey felt she deserved the next one-on-one and felt confident that it would be her.  She felt she had worked hard for it, and that she earned it, and that Deadwood better pull out all the stops and make it as romantic as possible.

BUT . . . Becca got the one on one.  Go, Becca, Normal Girl That Has Not Yet Kissed Chris.

Kelsey was not happy.  NOT HAPPY, she said, as she shook her head in a disgusted manner.  They are at a juncture in their relationship and she needs reassurance before she gives him more of her heart.  NOT HAPPY.   

Becca and Chris went horseback riding.  Becca had never been before but, as Chris said, she was a natural.

Back at the hotel, the girls talked smack on Kelsey.  And then Kelsey walked in so they decided to bring it all out in the open.  That would have been my cue to leave the room.  I hate confrontation.

Kelsey explained her laughing as nervous laughter.  And she got teary eyed and talked about having to process her feelings and her mental state and the confusion and in addition, her panic attack was terrifying.  


Oh, AND LISTEN UP.  Kelsey is eloquent.  And she uses big words because she is smart.  She said this.  Not me.  So as much as we want to blame editing, sometimes people say things anyway.  On camera.  For us to hear.  With words all in a row.

Becca and Chris sat around a campfire and laughed and talked.  It was easy and normal and good.

Becca wanted a kiss, but she was nervous and couldn’t stop thinking about her dad watching!  It was sweet.  And she reminded us that she was a virgin, which I had forgotten.  How could I have forgotten that?  Is it because she doesn’t cry at every rose ceremony and wear super short skirts or take her clothes off or sneak into tents in the middle of the night?  Hmm.  I wonder which it is . . . 

Well, whatever, they finally had their first kiss.

The group date was next.

They were going to be writing country songs with . . . Big and Rich.  I don’t really know them (Don’t yell at me, I am not a big country music fan, but Steve is so I know some stuff), but I did know the song Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy.  I do approve of that message.

The girls were loving the date, except for Jade.  Jade couldn’t let go.  She couldn’t get out of her own way.

Then Chris and Britt decided to get all up on each other in front of the other girls.  It was RUDE.  I can’t think of other bachelors doing that and it seems like Chris is starting to make a habit of this.  I thought most of the other bachelors tried to be respectful of the other girls (inasmuch as they can seeing that they’re dating and kissing forty-two girls at the same time).  Am I wrong?  I can’t remember.

Chris started off the competition by performing his own song which hurt my ears.  The girls all did a good job – it was cute and fun.  Carly happens to be a singer so hers was fabulous and Jade made it through hers.  Big and Rich were complimentary and sweet.

Later that night, Chris had a chance to have some one-on-one time with the girls.  But . . . while everyone did get some time with him, Britt and Chris ran off!  They RAN OFF!  While the other girls watched.  I have to say that it might have been at this juncture (to use Kelsey’s big, eloquent word) that I texted a couple of friends and said how much Chris was bothering me.

Chris took Britt to the Big and Rich concert.  And they called them up onstage!  ONSTAGE!  And then Chris GAVE HER THE ROSE ONSTAGE IN FRONT OF ALL THESE PEOPLE CHEERING.

And all I kept thinking was . . . Does Britt smell okay?  Is her hair greasy?  Did she brush her teeth?  I know, I know, she was wearing Converse, but please do not connect the two.  I wear Converse AND I SHOWER.

Chris and Britt rejoined the girls . . . and no one spoke.  The girls couldn’t even look at Chris.  He tried to explain that it was getting difficult and that he didn’t want to take away from such a great day.  And he wished he could say something to make them feel better.

NEWS FLASH, CHRIS!  Make the song thing A COMPETITION. Pick your favorite one (as in BRITT) and say that the WINNER GETS TO GO TO THE CONCERT.

DUH!  

Dare I say I feel like Kelsey?  I am NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS.  I am really starting to dislike Chris and the way that he handles these ladies.  Really!

The other girls were upset.  Teary eyed.  Humiliated.  And straight up crying in bathroom stalls.  There were also a couple of my heart is pure and I’m here for the right reasons thrown in for good measure.


And that was the end of that.

Next up was the Two-on-One with Ashley and Kelsey.  They took a helicopter to the Badlands.  Which is dry.  And windy.  And there is nothing there.

It is actually bad land.

But never you mind, the producers set up a bed out in the middle of that and all was well.

Chris took Ashley off somewhere, out in the middle of all the nothingness, and they sat on a towel and she tried to suck his face off.  Then, when she came up for air, she talked trash on Kelsey and told Chris that she was fake, that she didn’t gel with the other girls, and that she was speaking on behalf of all the girls.  Alarm bells were going off in my head because Ashley, hello, he doesn’t have to give a rose to either of you.

Which, speaking of editing, the rest of the girls are around Kelsey all the time.  And they really don’t like her.  So editing or no, something is amiss with Kelsey.  Right?  Don’t girls know when another one is off?  Right?  I don’t know.

In his one-on-one time with Kelsey, he asked how things were going in the house.  She told him she was prepared to be his wife and then he said, well, Ashley just told me this, and I’d like to talk about it . . . she says that you’re fake and the majority of the girls feel the same way.


Well, excuse me, but Kelsey was hurt.  And surprised.

And then she got a little angry.  And uppity.  She can sound so uppity.  Her cadence or her tone or her something is so condescending. 

When she returned to the Bed in the Badlands (is that a rock band?  That could be a rock band), this went on for awhile:

It was definitely a STARE DOWN.  Except Ashley wouldn’t look at Kelsey so Kelsey was just kind of playing the No Blinking game all on her own.

They had a bit of a confrontation . . . nothing major, but you all know Ashley!  She stormed off and cried and cried and cried and ran straight to Chris.

How could you tell her what I said? she cried.


And then there was more crying while Chris tried to comfort her.  And then she pointed out the obvious – every time I’m around you, I have to cry!

Yep.  And I might be guessing or grasping at straws here, but I think Chris wants a wife that can go just one whole day without crying.  

Chris started to tell her that he thought they were in different places, that he wouldn’t be able to give her the lifestyle she wanted . . . and the whole time Ashley is making grunting, crying sounds and she said And you think Britt fits that lifestyle?  Are you kidding me?


Ashley stormed off again, then returned for a hug, and then stormed off again.

Then there was a lot of crying.  A LOT.  If you thought there was a lot of crying leading up to this moment, you are wrong.  That little bit of crying was nothing.  Ashley was gasping for air and breathing snot in and out and clutching her hair and covering her face with her hands – it was very messy.

Back at the hotel, when the Guy Who Removes Suitcases came to remove Ashley’s suitcase, the girls were SHOCKED.  A couple were badly shaken.  What was Chris thinking?!  If he wants a girl like Kelsey, then he doesn’t want me!

Next, Chris went to see Kelsey and . . . HE LET HER GO!

She cried.  In her uppity, I’m too good for you, I’ve been married before way.

Then Chris left on a helicopter.  All alone.

While Kelsey and Ashley fought it out in the Badlands.  I actually don’t know what happened to them.  

Then when the Girl Who Removes Suitcases came to remove Kelsey’s, the girls cheered and popped champagne and had a big ole party.

We don’t need to worry about Kelsey, though.  She will rise above.  

Next week, we’ve got a Two Night Event with episodes on Monday and Tuesday!  Woot Woot! 

Alright, thoughts?  What do you think of Kelsey?  Is it editing?  Is it a little bit of both?  And what do you think of Chris?  I am not happy with him!  Am I crazy?