Before we begin, Hadar at Miss Kindergarten announced the winner from our Lucky giveaway. Just in case you missed it:
Let’s get to it!!!
The Most Controversial Finale In Bachelor History!
There was only a little bit of a rewind – thank goodness it wasn’t for the entire first hour. That’s been known to happen.
Ben’s family arrived to help him. I think his sister could be on the Kardashians. Anyone else see that??
When Julia (Ben’s sister) asked Lindzi to dish about Courtney . . . wow. I was a bit shocked, but I can’t say I blamed her. Kind of cracked me up, actually.
(and can someone, please, for the love of Pete, tell me why Courtney always goes last????)
Julia did not like the idea of having a model for a sister-in-law. I can relate. I wouldn’t like it, either. I would feel frumpy. And we already all know that I have a height problem so I just don’t think it would work. I get where Julia is coming from. Totally.
Courtney somehow handled the mom and sister pretty well. I was distracted by his mom for just a moment. Do you think if Ben styled his hair the way his mom does, it would look better???
Julia and Mom liked Courtney. Huh? And they thought Ben was in love with Courtney. Whatever. I had resigned myself to it. It’s fine. As long as I don’t have to marry the guy . . .
Forty minutes into the show, it felt like a foregone conclusion that Ben was going to propose to Courtney. It was odd. Much like the US magazine out this weekend that announced Ben had cheated on Courtney even though the final episode hadn’t aired yet.
However, then he went on a final date with Lindzi. Why not? I did not like the way that she jumped on him and wrapped her legs around him. Don’t do that again, please.
Hold on. I have to go throw up.
Okay, I’m back. Lindzi made me sick when she compared relationships to skiing. Honestly. She should have warned me. I thought we were past all the metaphors.
Lindzi told Ben she loved him. Oh no. I think we need some Hey, Girl signs that say something along the lines of “Hey, Girl. Ben is gross. You don’t love him. You love horses.”
Then it was Courtney’s turn for the final date.
Lisa, my sis, texted me to tell me that I would have a field day writing about the helicopters.
And then I heard one.
And then Ben and Courtney got in one. Ben said he hoped their relationship was “progressing to new heights”. I should have just kept a bucket near me because I did not handle the nausea of those metaphors very well.
I wanted to fast forward but I didn’t let myself. All for you, people. Remember, I am “obliging”.
Courtney gave Ben a gift . . . in the bedroom. Literally. She took him into the bedroom to unwrap the gift. That sounds really bad, but it’s all true. And it’s not a metaphor.
Then it was time for a bunch of balcony scenes. I’m not going to go into the particulars. Just imagine each of them leaning on the balcony railing. Looking into the distance. Contemplating love. And helicopters.
Then Ben went ring shopping (again). I think he did his hair extra special for the occasion.
Oh my word.
Are you kidding me?
Were all of those helicopters just for me?
Was it a joke?
I’m not laughing. (Well, yes, I am. It was too funny. This is the season of helicopters.)
And then . . . who would step out of the helicopter for heartbreak? In Switzerland? On top of a mountain? To be rejected?
Dun. Dun. Dun.
Hey, girl. Hey, Lindzi.
You love horses. Not Ben.
Shhhhhh. She talked A LOT. Do you think they have to do that? Is it in paragraph 23, line 8? “Before the bachelor can reject you, you must proclaim your undying love for him so that you will look foolish and regret it later.” Sign here. Initial there. Practice your speech. Make it extra long and bumbling. Good.
Lindzi said, “And if things don’t work out, call me.”
Has anyone ever said that???? (Wait. Did Molly say that? Is that how her and Jason got together?)
And then the poor girl had to get into a helicopter. Not even a limo. I tell ya. I have no words for all of the helicopters. It
seriously cracked me up. I felt like I was being pranked. Who went to all the trouble of arranging that? Ha!
Ben proposed to Courtney.
Crickets.
More crickets.
Back to the “Most Controversial Finale In Bachelor History” comment. What? What was controversial? That he picked Courtney? That they ruined the clear, crystal Switzerland air with helicopter smog and hair gel? I’m a little lost here.
If you can hang in there with me, I’m going for it. One more hour to talk about . . .
AFTER THE FINAL ROSE:
OH. EM. GEE. Ben’s hair. It was SO (tho) long. And I think he must have just gotten out of a helicopter and the blades were still going which caused his hair to be wind blown.
Cheating. Rumors. Broken up. Engagement off. This was in the first ten minutes, people! Was that the controversial part??
I kind of felt bad for Courtney. How many more times can she say the girls and the show brought out the worst in her? Ben picked her. Now stand up for her. Be a MAN. Or at least ACT like a man with reasonable hair.
I love Chris Harrison. “When the going got tough, you split.” Ha. Take that, Ben! You stupid man. Again, Ben picked her. Deal with it. At least he finally apologized to her. Took him long enough.
Ben cried.
Or he had a hair in his eye.
I couldn’t tell.
Ben should have re-proposed. It would have been the right thing to do. He broke off the engagement. Shouldn’t he have made it official? Why do I care? I don’t know. I think I am so over this.
Ashley and J.P.!!! I love J.P. Now THAT is good hair. 🙂
And that’s the end, people. No more Talk About It Tuesdays. Whatever will we do???? I am looking forward to Emily’s season this May . . . anyone want to do this again?
I'm in! As raunchy and obnoxious as it can be, it's still a highlight for me to watch. I do believe that they tell them what to say and when to say it. I also think they tape all this stuff then mix it up and air it in a different order. So it looks like Courtney is the last date, but she really may not be. Thanks for the posting. I had a crown put on today and I'm feeling a little loopy. You forced me to smile and that helped push the novacaine out of my system!
Patty
2ndinline.blogspot.com
Ok, your post made me LOL…and I watched it. All I have to say is Kacey B. should have been his wife and he blew it. His bad!
Michelle
Apples and ABC's
I just watch it so I am up to speed for your Talk About it Tuesdays ;).
I would love for you to continue Talk about it Tuesday, I really look forward to it. I have never watched the Bachelor (I'm not even sure what channel it is on), but I feel I know it after reading your blog.
Keep the Talk about it Tuesday, I know there is always something to talk about.
Jill
Oh please do "Talk About It Tuesdays" for Emily's season. I always watch Bachelor and Bachelorette {why?!}. I crack up every Tuesday because I'm replaying the episode in my mind! You are so stinkin' hilarious!! Please please please do it for next season!!
They deserve each other – but really. He should have been a man. His sister was so concerned about red flags – but his willingness to run when the going got tough…. kind of a red flag. Don't ya think?
What's next on the agenda? What are we going to watch now?
❤Traci❤
Dragonflies in First
I get more enjoyment out of reading your blog than by simply watching the show. As always, thanks for a good chuckle.
Elizabeth
Fun in Room 4B
First-every time I saw a helicopter I laughed and thought about what you were going to say about them. Definitely do this again with Emily-please 🙂
I love J.P. too! Definitely better hair! I hope Chris Harrison really does marry them.
Loved the post!
What happened??! Shoot, now I gotta go watch after the final rose online. PS I'm dying about your helicopter pollution comment, like literally snorted!!
Oh I totally agree with Kristina! Last night while watching I felt so sad that "TAIT's" would end so I came up with a new idea for you….seeing that we watch RHW of OC…I think you should do…. "wine about it Wednesdays"…whatcha think?
I moved on from Ben weeks ago- and Courtney. But I still enjoyed every Talk about it Tuesday post.. so yep! I say do it again in May!
Dancing with the Stars starts Monday. Do you watch it?
kacey
Doodle Bugs Teaching
Doodle Bugs Paper
Oh please do this again in May – I laugh out loud every Tuesday. Can't wait for Emily's season. Thanks for the laughs! 🙂
Second Grade Sugar and Spice
yes sign here so talk about it Tuesdays will be renewed as of episode 1 of the bachelorettes wild helicopter ride
Yes – Reagan's right! I'll sign that petition! Keep Talk About It Tuesday coming! Emily's season should be great; hopefully not as many helicopters! Maybe you have to start watching Sweet Home Alabama on CMT too! Lots of good city guys vs. country guys trying to win the girl this season. It's down to the last two shows. Check it out on Friday night. LOL!
I love that you wanted Hey Girl signs for her!! Also I, too, enjoy starting my posts with "before we begin." Yeah!
Marvelous Multiagers!
LOL you crack me up! I definitely felt the same way and WHO told him he had good hair…seriously lol. I enjoy reading your take on things 🙂
Ok seriously, I look forward to this more than I look forward to The Bachelor!!! I love you!!!! And I'm with you….JP has awesome hair! LOL! I definitely want you to do this again!!!!
I watched Bachelor two times this season and quit because I didn't see how anyone could be attracted to Ben with that hair! I knew they all had to be faking from the beginning, but LOVED reading your updates.
I'm thinking "Dancing with the Stars" would be a great new option until Bachelorette comes on. Just think of all the drama with Urkel vs. Half Pint? Mix in Maksim and his Diva qualities, voila!
Keep the fun coming!
I love Talk About it Tuesdays! Please pick it up when Emily's season starts…and when HWOBH comes back:-)
Michelle
I am signing the petition. I LOVE talk about it Tuesdays. It is a guaranteed laugh every week. Please make it come back!
Misty
Think, Wonder, & Teach
I gave you an award on my blog–come over and see it! I think your blog is awesome!
Barb
meet me at the zoo…
kinderzoo
wahhhhhh!! I can't miss Emily's season!! Must.bring.to.UK. I am going to find a way to see that season here dangit!! I love your Talk About it Tuesdays!!
Kelli
I am tho tho thad that talk about it tuesday is over. Getting withdrawl symptoms now.
Love your blog!
I started watching it just cuz I love reading what you have to say. It just cracks me up!
You know, a lot of my friends are jumping off the Bachelor/Bachelorette band wagon….not me, I'm in it through the good and the bad {hair}….
What about Bachelor Pad?
I {heart} JP too!!!!!!!!
Holly
Crisscross Applesauce in First Grade
I haven't been avoiding you…I had to stay away until I watched it today.
I have no words. You said it best.
I do think if Ben's hair gets any long he would look JUST like his sister.
Helicopters. Humidity. Hair. Horrible.
Heather
Heather's Heart
I blogged about you hee hee and JP is the ONLY one with great hair! Baseball haircut is what we call it in my house!
Tammy
http://www.klingercafe.com/2012/03/giveaways-galore.html
First Grade @ Klinger Cafe
Oh my goodness, I haven't watched the bachelor for years, but your blow-by-blow makes me want to return!
I awarded you the One Lovely Blog Award – you always make my day!
First Class with Mrs. Mac
OK…I have seriously missed you!!
I feel like I lost touch with so many bloggy friends because I turned into MIA!
Anyways I couldn't show up at your blog door step empty handed so I gave you an award because I love you and you know it!
Head over to check it out!
Stacy
2nd Grade Paradise
Ok, here's my question…what in the world did these girls see in him?? He needs to mature a bit. Can't wait until next season!
Hugs,
Becca