Talk About It Tuesday

Our bible study started up again.

And guess what day we meet now?

Exactly.  On MONDAYS!  MONDAYS!  

Believe you me, I wanted to say I had a conflict – what with The Bachelor and The Real Housewives and Vanderpump Rules . . . but since I’m trying to transform myself (that’s our series-Transormed), I said I could meet on Mondays.  I might have agreed in a whisper, but I did agree.  Ho hum.

This will result in late Talk About It Tuesdays.  I didn’t even get to watch the whole episode last night because we got home after nine.  NINE PM, people!  By the time I finished standing in the pantry and looking at all of the shelves, aimlessly wondering what to have for a little snack, and then opening the fridge and staring in there wondering the same thing, and then going back to the pantry again . . . it was late!  I was sort of falling asleep.  So I finished watching the episode when I got home from school.  Forget the fact that I need to empty the dishwasher, print some stuff, look into my hubby’s eyes and remember he is an actual being that I know and love and not some person in the virtual world or on TV, or the fact that I need to eat something . . . I had to finish watching The Bachelor and start blogging about it!  

You’re welcome.  Now go get me something yummy to eat and we will be all set.

The girls and Juan Pablo headed to South Korea.

Nikki, the pediatric nurse, really wanted the one on one date.  Really wanted it.   Like, a lot.

But she didn’t get it.  She was in the group date and she was not happy.  Turns out, Nikki doesn’t have sisters and isn’t used to sharing, especially boyfriends.  

I have sisters.  Two.  And I’m not really used to sharing, either.  But that’s because I’m not normal sized and I couldn’t wear anything either of them had in their closet.  However, the two of them?  Epic fights.  Epic.  And, just for the record, we never ever shared boyfriends so I’m not sure Nikki has a valid point and I think she is just mainly referring to Lifetime movies and not real life.

The group date was Dancing.

Otherwise known as I Can’t Dance And Thank God I Wasn’t On That Date.

Kill Me Now.

I mean, kill Nikki now.  This was her worst nightmare.  Meanwhile, Kat has been dancing since before she could walk so she thought she was the best.

Kat was good.  I remember her dancing moves from the 5K Marathon Let’s Run and Glow Up the City date.  I remember that I actually can’t stand her because of this.  I would also like to hate Ellen DeGeneres for her ability to dance, but I like her because she is funny and likes to scare people and then laughs about it.  We could be friends.

I related to Nikki very.much.so on this date.  I can’t dance.  I like to.  But whenever I do, my hubby asks if I’m okay and/or does he need to call an ambulance.

They danced with a group called Twenty-One.  Or 21.  I don’t know.  Anyways, they’re famous in South Korea.  For all I know, they’re famous here in America, but seeing as how I’m way older than 21, I have no clue because I listen to music on my record player.

The girls were “invited” to be backup dancers with the group at a concert later that night.  Kat was super excited and Nikki was living her worst nightmare.

They danced.  It went well.  

Afterwards, the girls got to spend some one-on-one time with Juan Pablo.  Nikki started talking trash . . . and the other girls started saying that she was negative.

NIKKI!  Get a hold of yourself!

Dangit.  She is getting a reputation of the “mean girl” which I don’t like because I think I like Nikki.  Or at least I used to.  Maybe I still do.  I don’t know.  Thoughts?

Well, whatever, it didn’t matter because Juan Pablo didn’t know that she was talking trash and so he gave her the group date rose.

This made the other girls hate her even more.

Charleen got the one on one date.  She is Juan Pablo’s favorite.

Yes.  He said so.

The others girls were saying that Charleen had said Juan Pablo was boring . . . however, on their date, she said he was fun and not bland.  

Not bland.

Who describes people like that?  Hello.  Nice to meet you.  You are not at all like nonfat milk.  Or plain yogurt.

They ate some gross stuff.  I’m pretty sure Juan Pablo ate a crab and its shell.  

Charleen sang for Juan Pablo and then they had a much better kiss, although it still seemed semi-awkward.  I don’t know.   I’m chalking it up to the fact that she’s an opera singer and I’ve never been to the opera and since I just recently experienced The Ballet, I think I’m all set in the Artsy Fartsy World for now.

Charleen is really an opera singer.  Really.

Next was another group date with six girls.  

First they did karaoke.  They looked like they had a GREAT time — My singing is about as good as my dancing, but hand me a microphone and “Living on a Prayer!!!” is coming out, people.  You’ve been warned.  Or “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow!”  Either one.

They had a photo booth moment, went on some paddle boat thingamajigs, and then headed to a pedicure where those fish eat all the dead skin off your feet.  

The fish LOVED Renee’s feet.  She didn’t know why.  

Ummmmm.  Well . . . I’m thinking maybe she had a lot of dead skin, that’s what I’m thinking.

Next, they decided to try some octopus.  It was snack time, don’t ya know.

But Clare was freaking out and trying to be all girly and dramatic . . . it was really annoying.  The other girls were totally irritated by her because she was monopolizing Juan Pablo’s time and acted . . . well, it made me want to  they kind of wanted to slap her upside the head and say, “Eat the octopus already, ya big baby!”

Later that night, the group had time to be with Juan Pablo for some one on one time and Renee went first.  She was a little bit assertive and basically told Juan Pablo she wanted to kiss him.  

And he said no.

OUCH.  He said he’d kissed six girls up to now and he wanted to be a good example for Camilla so he wasn’t kissing anyone.

That night. 

Just for that night.

Not noteveragain.  Maybe tomorrow.  But not tonight.  

Man.  The restraint.  What a good example.

Sigh and flutter my eyes, why don’t I?  blinkblinkblinkblink

Juan Pablo really likes Andi.  He wanted to kiss her because she gets his jokes, and likes to sleep in, and he thinks she’s perfect.  

I also like Andi.  Do you?

Lauren tried to kiss him, too.  

OH, THESE GIRLS.  

You are not supposed to try to kiss him!  You’re supposed to play hard to get.  It is simple.  I was the queen, THE QUEEN, of I Will Not Act Like I Like You Unless I Know You Like Me First.  The End.  Don’t give anything away, girls.  

Especially your money and printer ink.

So.  Come on.  People!  This is not rocket science!  It’s CHEMISTRY, for heaven’s sake.

So Lauren cried.

Boohoo.

She thinks she may have blown it.  

Clare . . . well, now I feel a little swayed because the girls don’t like her very much at all.  So I kind of felt like she was being a little fake, but what do I know.  

Juan Pablo wanted to kiss her, he couldn’t help himself, so he did.  At least she didn’t pursue him.  So there.  Class dismissed.

Andi got the rose, though!  

Cocktail party:

The girls that already had roses agreed that they would be respectful of everyone else’s time.

And then Nikki (NIKKI!!!!!), who already had a rose, went to interrupt Juan Pablo and Clare.

RUDE!  RUDE!  Ohhhhh, I’m starting not to like Nikki, either.  

Juan Pablo hinted to Nikki that there might be drama in the house. So Nikki got stressed and felt uncomfortable during the rest of their one on one time.  I think it’s pretty obvious Nikki is the cause of some drama in the house.  Call me Sherlock.

And then Nikki and Clare kind of had a discussion and it ended with this great quote, “But you’re not the one handing out the roses!”

Wait.  I’m not???

So.

After the Rose Ceremony, we said goodbye to Lauren and Elise.

Elise was the first grade teacher.  Goshdarnit.  But oh well.  She had to walk along cobblestones in her heels — it was not easy, let me tell you.  And I was really worried about her because she was crying a lot, but mostly because her skirt was super duper duper ridiculously short.  It might have been a top and she forgot the skirt, perhaps.

Lauren was really upset that she tried to kiss him and really regretted it.

The rest of the girls and Juan Pablo are going to Vietnam next week.  

Okay.  Your turn!!

Nikki?  Andi?  Charleen?  Clare?

Is this the top four?  
  
And what in the world does Clare do next week???!!!!!!