Okay, so we have a slight problem.
I wasn’t able to take notes last night during the Bachelorette.
This is due to my slideshow. That I procrastinated on. As usual. I was burning dvds until about 11pm. I would have put it off even longer, but I had invited the parents to come watch it this morning. And, yes, I could have taken notes the old fashioned way, but instead, I kicked back on my bed in five minute increments. Then I had to put the label on the DVD, insert it into a case, and start the whole process over again. Times thirty. I know it’s hard not to be jealous of my nightlife, but just try.
Then I thought that I could fast forward through most of the show again and refresh my memory that way.
But I just got home and it’s almost 8pm.
It’s my nightlife, people. I’m a wild woman.
So here’s what I want to talk about from what I remember.
And can I just say that next week I’ll be on summer vacation and my not having time to do this will not factor in at all? AT ALL? Insert GLEEFUL FACE HERE. Insert HAPPY DANCE HERE. Insert DANCE POLICE HERE.
Okay, no more dancing. I promise.
What was up with Tony? The crybaby who misses his son? Oh my word. Buck up, already! I see that you miss your son. I got it the first nine hundred times you said it. He’s your best friend (weird), you can’t stop thinking about him, you can’t live your life like this . . . we get it.
I’m not a mom. I shouldn’t judge.
Especially because I remember crying when I had to leave my dogs at a kennel when the hubs and I went to Jamaica. The crying may have come when it was time to leave Jamaica, but either way, I cried.
Chris, the 25 going on 45 year old, is nice. They had a good time. Whatever. You know, they climbed to new heights so they’re bonded now. Much like love. It starts out at the bottom of a building and then you have dinner on the roof. If that’s not a cliche, it should become one. It describes my marriage perfectly.
Arie is cute. I thought it was hilarious that Dolly Parton was sarcastic about finding herself at Dollywood. Imagine that. Dolly Parton at Dollywood. I mean, really. Come on. I’m sure Emily had to have some sort of clue. Please. Scoff.
Group date: Loved the friends getting to interview the boys. That was great.
Did Sean come from out of nowhere? It sure seemed like it. Emily’s friends fell in love with him. I don’t know. I feel like I have to wait and see on that one.
Ryan – well, I don’t think he scored any points with the fat situation. As in, don’t get fat, or I won’t be all up on you. Up in your bizness. All up.
The Rose Ceremony was fantastic.
We’ve got crazy Kalon with the glasses. Were they necessary? Did he need them? Or were they an accessory? And, I’m sorry, but “I love it when you talk, but I am going to talk more now” was not a good move. How about YOU shut up? Huh? Just pipe down. Talk, talk, talk. He went on to talk about control and how his mother said this and that . . . Control? I’ll show you control. See that limo? Get in it.
But that’s not what happened because Emily is the bachelorette, not me. She kept him. WHAT?! Shake head. Insert JUDGMENTAL FACE HERE.
And Alessandro? Are you kidding me? Is this a joke?
(I’m looking around for hidden cameras.)
Oh. The cameras are out in plain view.
Hold on. Could we get an interpreter? I think there’s a language barrier. (What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.)
Oh. There’s not. He does mean compromise. As in, my life is so great right now because I’m a gypsy (not to be confused with a genie which would be waaaaay better) and so if I marry you, and take on your daughter, it would be a compromise.
At least she put him in a limo.
Ryan (pro Sports guy) is jealous of Arie. It’s not pretty.
I’m trying to root (wroot? route? rooty toot toot) for Ryan because one of my commenters said he’s from their hometown and I want to be on the team . . . but I don’t know. He described himself as a physical man and Arie as “dainty”.
Wait a minute here. Arie is a race car driver. He gets in a car and drives it in a circle.
Hmmmm.
Well, he wears a helmet, and a flame retardant suit, and he drives REALLY fast in a circle.
That’s not dainty. That’s . . . dangerous.
Either way you look at it, I don’t like Ryan’s attitude. I may like his un-daintiness, but not the attitude. And next week doesn’t look any better. I’m hoping for a miracle.
Weird boy smashed his ostrich egg. Gross. And how embarassing.
Stevie left. I wonder if he’ll go by Steve now. Or Bob.
One and a half more days. I’m beside myself.
I told my class I want a vacation. But then I want them to be in my room when I get back. I love this group. It’ll be a little emotional for me.
But not a lot.
I don’t like to cry in public.
Or in private.
Just in Jamaica.
I watched The Bachelorette for the first time last night!!!!!!!
Alessandro is a lunatic! He dated his cousin? What???? I am so happy he went home.
And I give two thumbs down to Ryan AND Kalon!!
Apparently I really had nothing to say in this comment…… sorry about that, haha.
Marvelous Multiagers!
I love the crazy things we do to finish up the year…..only teachers 🙂 Enjoy your final days….. I am jealous….21 days to go….
So happy to see that freakin' egg smashed.
Alessandro… ick ick ick! {same goes for Kalon and Ryan. I would have put Kalon into that limo SO fast!}
I was burning DvD's ALL day today, between bubbling in district assessments, grading tests… oh and {a little} teaching. 😀
1 1/2 more days. Yay for you 😀
❤Dragonflies in First ❤
This cracked me up. I also take notes on the show. I couldn't believe Alessandro! He looks like Chubaka from Starwars. And dating his cousin? Sick. At first I was feeling sorry for Tony, but after the first few minutes of his break down I wanted to escort him to the limo myself. That man needs some tissues.
The "I'll show you control, see that limo" line made me laugh out loud. Good one.
What slideshow do you make for your parents? Did I miss that post?
Kimberley
First in Maine
Thanks for the laugh this morning! I think the guy with the glasses is really creepy. I can't believe Emily kept him around!
Connie:)
welcome to first grade room 5
Kalon is from my hometown (Houston), but that's okay you don't have to root, wroot, route, and definitely not rooty toot toot for him 🙂 I like Arie and the blonde guy that the girl friends made take off his shirt… image is still resting nicely in my head..
Thank you for starting my day off with a laugh!
Mrs. Wills Kindergarten
Love your recaps. Ryan is so jealous.
I was on team "Ryan" till he said the fat comment!!! The nerve! I don't care if I live in his hometown. IF you look up his FB page, he is already shirtless in an ad for his business..hmmmm….
Anyway, keep the blog posts coming–love them! 🙂
You are ALMOST there! I am excited for me I mean you because you will have more time for blogging!!! 🙂 Happy last days and thankfully I just read this now and not yesterday. Whew…that was a close one!
"Up in your business" – Oh my gosh, you are hilarious!! I needed something to laugh at today. Thanks for the smile-inducing comments in spite of your busy night!
I love how you go straight from school into the show and then straight back to school without missing a beat. You are hilarious! 🙂
Mary
Mrs. Lirette's Learning Detectives
Let's have a coffee date when you come back from TX!!!
I love the Bachelorette, but every season I MUST find the spoiler of the final 4 on the internet. I dont get so upset throughout the season if I already know. hee hee
mscott1040@bellsouth.net
Once again you have nailed all the highlights with your wit! Hilarious! I feel like ABC was really scraping from the bottom of the barrel for these bachelors. I would have thought they would have had millions of 'qualified' or at least desirable men for Emily. She is most deserving of a great man. Aren't these men screened??? Alessandro – 'compromising man' should never had made it to the show. And I would think there would have been several red flags before a bachelor even gets to the show with an ostrich egg. I think she likes Arie, and he does seem decent but all I see are slim pickins. I think she is brave to announce that her future husband might be sitting in the room. That is scary.
17 days and counting.
What a hoot you are! I laughed out loud reading your post & will be sure to check in daily for my dose of comic relief!
🙂
Tamera
http://myheartbelongsinfirst.blogspot.com
Kaizactan2001@yahoo.com
Okay – Its Weds and no post for week 3. Sigh… after all I went through. I am thinking of writing a blog post titled – Its all a Teeny Tiny Teacher's Fault! Bwahahaha!
Monday – Concerned hubby voice "babe what are you doing? Me… watching the bacholorette now shhh. go away. Hubby (more concerned) "are you okay? did I upset you?" Me – no. go. shew. hubby… why are you watching tv? me – cuz the tiny teacher is funny and I want to know what she is talking about so it will be funnier. Now GO AWAY! hubby – who is a tiny teacher. me – Not you. Now hush it! Older son – uhoh who let mom have the remote? middle son – dad we need to leave fast. Baby son – who wants football at the park?
And so they all left and for the first time in YEARS — I SAW TV! So that's what that box in my living room does!
Misty
Think, Wonder, & Teach