So . . .
I wish I had a funny story to tell.
Or a wonderful lesson to talk about.
Or something important to say.
But I don’t.
So I’ll just tell you the haps. The haps means happening in case you don’t speak my language.
I’m going to number them. Be prepared. You may want to take notes.
1. The whole school is still testing. But not kinder or first so we don’t matter which means we don’t get the free snacks, either. I want the snacks, people.
2. Speaking of snacks, I try really hard to bring a banana, an apple, grapes, a yogurt, a string cheese — in other words, something healthy. Ho hum. I almost never look forward to it. And then my kids pull out their Nacho Cheese Doritos and brownies and candy bars and Cool Ranch Doritos and Golden Grahams and donuts fresh from the donut store wrapped in the little parchment paper that lets you know it’s from an actual donut store and not a box, and I want to eat every single thing they have, but the rule is that you cannot share so then I just pout. This happens every day. Unless a kid brings me a caramel-chocolate-almond-toffee coated apple and then I brag about it. To everyone.
3. The hubby and I are getting a new fence. You might remember that my neighbor’s dog broke in because our fence is in such a shambles. Well, the other neighbor’s dog also broke in. Twice. I only had a heart attack the first time. Now I’m used to it and feel that a new fence costs way too much money and I could buy a lot of snacks with that. But the hubby insisted. So now we don’t have a fence. Really. I can see far and wide in my backyard. Murphie can, too.
It is working out just perfectly.
Yesterday, our neighbor’s kids and their dog came into my house while I was in the bathroom. Doing er . . . um . . . er . . . bathroom things. The hubby accidentally let that happen and isn’t sure how it happened, but the neighbor was embarassed. Pee-shaw, we said.
Later, I let Murphie out to do her bathroom thing and I foolishly thought she could handle it without a leash. Well, that would be a no, seeing as how she just walked right on into the neighbor’s house to say hello. And I just kinda followed her and chased her and wrangled her and hoped she didn’t do her bathroom thing while in their house.
You might wonder why we keep leaving our back doors open. I don’t know. Shoulder shrug.
At least we’re even.
4. End of the year staffing drama is already happening. Who’s teaching what? Is she moving grades? Is he? I heard that we have to get a new teacher from another school. Is she nice? Will we like her? Did you hear that our class sizes might be smaller? What? No way. Never. But I heard they might go up to one hundred and that we might get a pay cut. Sounds about right.
5. Our field trip is on Friday. So tomorrow is actually my Friday and the actual Friday is going to feel like the never ending day that lasts forever and ever and I can’t drink my coffee in the morning because I’m afraid I’ll be the teacher that has to have the bus driver pull over at a gas station to be let out to do a bathroom thing.
That is a true story. But it didn’t happen to me. It did happen to my friend and now I’m traumatized and no longer have any intake of liquids on field trip days. Ever. Of any kind.
That wraps it up.
It’s time for dinner. I believe the hubby made a vegetable as a side so it’s a good thing I bought a bag of Dark Chocolate Acai with Blueberry. It pays to think ahead, don’t ya know.