I made it to Thursday.
A friend of ours (Regina) that used to teach with us stopped by during lunch today so we could meet her baby. Her little baby girl was the cutest thing ever. And she didn’t cry once so I took an instant liking to her.
I have said this before: every teacher’s lounge should be stocked with happy babies and puppies. And popcorn. And chocolate. And maybe a margarita machine.
Anywho . . . somehow, someway, the girls started telling Regina about the last time I ate mac and cheese. I was eating it today. I might have eaten it yesterday, too. And the day before that.
They were also surprised I hadn’t blogged about my mac and cheese incident before now which is what prompted me to do it today. So there you go.
Once upon a time, I brought mac and cheese for lunch.
But not really.
Because I forgot my lunch at home. Steve just happened to be working from home that day so I texted him, and he said he would be happy to drop my lunch off for me. My pleasure, he said. In fact, he even asked me if I’d rather him drive through someplace and I said, no no no, don’t do that, I’ll just eat what I packed.
He dropped it off and I took it into the teacher’s lounge to microwave it. It’s Easy Mac which is microwaveable. Which makes it easy to pack my lunch since I am lazy and I am not doing whole 30 unless you count I ate 30 whole cheddar-and-sour cream chips for a snack today. Then I suppose I am doing whole 30 and I’m also doing whole 40 and even whole 50 depending on what I’m eating.
So I put my mac and cheese in the microwave and then I started talking to my friend, Amy, about who-knows-what.
And then I smelled popcorn which made me want popcorn because whenever someone microwaves popcorn, I want it.
And then Amy said, “What’s burning?”
And I said, “I don’t know. It smells like popcorn.” And then I kept talking to her.
Right after that was when smoke started coming out of the microwave and filling up our teacher’s lounge which made us act a little surprised and shocked at what was happening.
And then I realized it was my mac and cheese.
I’m pretty sure I froze. Or the smoke was so thick that I couldn’t move through it. Luckily, Amy jumped into action and opened the microwave and that’s when we found my mac and cheese literally burned to a crisp.
A crisp. There was a hole in the bottom. And the pasta was black.
Apparently, I didn’t put water in it.
And you’re supposed to.
I told you I can’t cook!
We had to open the windows in the lounge, put the mac and cheese in a trashcan outside, and let the secretary know that the fire alarm was about to go off.
Over the intercom: Please evacuate your classrooms. Mrs. Oldham burned her Easy Mac.
However, the fire alarm did not go off. I don’t know how or why, but it didn’t. It should have . . . but it didn’t.
I don’t know what we should be worried about more: that I can’t microwave Easy Mac or that the fire alarm doesn’t work.
Anyway, we’re the first lunch so I kind of ruined it for everyone after that. And all the third through sixth grade teachers let me know.
What did you do, they said?
You didn’t put water in your Easy Mac?
Don’t you know you’re supposed to put water in Easy Mac?
There’s a fill line!
That smell is disgusting.
Thanks a lot, Oldham.
Now, if I am standing anywhere near a microwave, I get, “Did you put water in it?!!”
And I say NO, I AM REHEATING MY COFFEE, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
Or I say yes and slump my shoulders.
Now I just owe Amy some shampoo.
Our hair was SO ICKY YUCKY STINKY for the rest of the day.
And the moral of this story is not don’t forget to add water to your Easy Mac and it’s not double check those fire alarms.
The moral of the story is: