We had a visitor yesterday.
The big wig.
The head honcho.
The superintendent.
Yep.
I was all prepared. I was going to be amazing. I had word family hunts planned and writing planned and read alouds planned and songs planned and all manner of engagement planned. It was going to be incredible. The superintendent was going to want to know who I was and where I’d been hiding and could I come to the district office and sign my autograph on a special wall that they were going to make just for me. I was probably even going to be awarded a trophy or a plaque of some kind.
My team was also prepped and ready to knock. Knock Knock, we said.
And then we waited and waited. And waited. And nothing.
We went to recess and that’s when we saw the battalion of important people. Our superintendent, whoever he was with, our principal, and maybe someone else. I don’t know. I lost count. They were walking around on the upper grade side of our campus.
Hmmm, we said. We wondered if we’d dodged a bullet.
After we picked our kids up from recess, we saw the brigade pass by our classrooms and head back up to the office. It was nearing 11 and we knew he had to leave by then.
Oh well, we said.
Phew, we said.
Thank goodness, we said.
Our shoulders relaxed. See ya at lunch, we called to one another.
My kids walked into the classroom to find cubes on their desk. I had passed out a cube train of nine to each student during their recess for our next subtraction lesson.
CUBES! Yay! Cheers! Applause!
I took a bow. I said, “Play with them until the timer goes off and then meet me on the carpet with a cube train!” I was all relaxed and jovial – no walk-through happening today! Let’s cut loose!
The timer went off and the kids met me at the carpet. With their cube trains.
And then my door swung open and in walked the Head Honcho and his posse.
What the hello kitty!? I thought inside my head. Holy fertilizer! Shitake mushrooms! Nooooooo. This was not planned. This was not the plan!
ABORT! ABORT!
But it was too late.
And, sure enough, four or five of my kids had to raise their hands to tell me that they didn’t have nine cubes after all.
Because that looks good in front of the Big Wig. Doesn’t it?
And then, since I wasn’t teaching anything at this point, and we were all trying to find our cubes and count them correctly, and ward off tears because I gave him nine cubes but not her, I only gave her seven cubes . . . I decided to remind my kids of our subtraction lesson with the goldfish. Just to prep them for the upcoming lesson. You know. And to kind of drop a hint to the Big Wig that I had just done an amazing goldfish cracker lesson and it wasn’t my fault he was a day late and a dollar short.
But instead of just gently reminding my class of the goldfish cracker lesson, I made a scene.
I possibly danced around. I think I rubbed my tummy to show how delicious goldfish are. And I might have bared my teeth to act like a shark. The words CHOMP CHOMP might have been said. And the word goldfish could have come out in a tiny squeak while the word shark was some scary guttural sound. I don’t know. I can hardly remember. It was sort of out of body.
I’m just thinking surely this exact scene played out in other classrooms across the campus, right?
I’m sure there was a sixth grade lesson just like this, but instead of goldfish and sharks, it was some mythological Greek creature versus a mortal or something like that and the teacher acted it out with different sounds and a rubbing of one’s tummy, too.
Right?
So, basically, the posse saw NOTHING. Except that I do not count cubes correctly. And I act like an idiot when grown ups are in the room.
As soon as they left, I knocked on the wall extremely hard which helped alleviate some of my pent up frustration as well as bring me back to my classroom and into my own body. Because, clearly, I was nowhere near reality.
One whole day has passed and they haven’t called for my autograph. And they haven’t announced when the Plaque Giving ceremony is . . .
Ho hum.
Oh my gosh! I laughed through this entire post! Did you hear the one (read the post) about when I walked into my room after turning on a VIDEO for the kids only to be greeted by my boss AND the superintendent?! That was a super holy shitake moment, fo sho.
Dude. You SO need a plaque. I'm just sayin.
Also, I told some other teachers about your reader's theater plays at our district staff development, and they bought them right then and there from their phones!? Do I get a gold star or something?!
-Gayla
Teach On.
Oh, honey. We have all been there. You're awesome! Thanks for the laughs, the inspiration, and the reminder that you're human. 😉
This is hilarious! It's happened to us all:).
bahahah!!! Shitake mushrooms is right!!! I woulda flipped.
Oh yeah, I've been there! What the hello kitty– they should have to give us a schedule, right? We have to give them our schedules, it's only fair. I am always thankful I teach little ones– hopefully their cuteness overshadows my idiotness in those moments! I am sure he was very impressed with your chomping and is just too shy to ask for your autograph!
bwahahaahahaha!! Holy Guacamole! So…he didn't ask for your autograph? ;-P
Simply hilarious! Gave me flashbacks of a similar hello kitty day. Glad to hear that it still happens to the best of us. Don't forget to send out invites when you get the date for your plaque receiving ceremony.
Ohhh, I AM WITH YOu! Weekly walk-throughs this year by our principal and AP. Sometimes, they bring friends. The first two weeks, they came during my prep when my class goes to PE or music. Then they came during recess. That time, they stared at my walls and wrote a bunch of stuff down WITHOUT telling me what they were thinking. Um, hello! No students! Tell me what's happening here! I hope they saw my (not current) essential questions from the 15 days prior and my (not current) I can statements/CCSS posters. No students working means I might have gotten away with it.
Monday morning, my 10 month old teething son let me sleep 3.5 hours that night. Not only was I behind schedule due to my caffeine and sleep deprived body, but I had a new student who needed acclimating. Not enough furniture (sigh). What happened to that extra pencil box (sigh). I decided to let our class "banker" start paying everyone scholar dollars for being at school, but I didn't have enough $1. I had to explain to him how to exchange five $1 for one $5 to replenish my bank. BAM. They walked in. Not 1, not 2, but 3. I don't know who the stranger was. They saw the lack of teacher driven instruction, and they walked out. Like, "oops, this bathroom is occupied. Sorry." Great. Then, at our staff meeting, our principal reviewed the walk-through. Yeah, great. I waited, and I waited. She didn't say anything about being off task!! YAY! But she did say that my grade level had stuff on the walls that she was looking for. Yay team! Phew.
At least until next week.
Hilarious!….and SO real. Every single time they come the great lessons have been done and we are in recovery mode. :/
Girlfriend….you CRACK me up!! And isn't that the way it always works out??? Lol!!
Haha..you are so funny! One time, the big wigs came in my room and I was hobbling around on crutches. I also thought I should get some sort of award for dedication.
Swimming into Second
Holy fertilizer is clearly the next new catch phrase! I'm sure you nailed it on the comedy level! I seriously need to spend a day in your classroom. It would be the time of my life! Without a doubt better than any reality tv show!
ThePolishedTeacher
Oh my gosh, how hilarious!! I can totally relate. I'm laughing out loud right now:)
You are such an AWESOME writer!!!
Connie Anderson:)
Welcome To First Grade Room 5
SO funny! Thanks for the laughs and the perspective!
OMG I am literally laughing out loud. You have such a gift for storytelling. I want you to come teach in the classroom right next to me. Even though I teach 7th grade math. I have cubes! I will share them with you! 🙂
Kristin! You are SO funny! I laughed so hard at this post!
Kristen
A Day in First Grade
That was the BEST! I was laughing out loud TOO! I love reading these "real" posts that we all know, oh so well- and make us all feel better. You are the best! He doesn't know what he is missing not getting your autograph!!!
Carolyn
Kindergarten: Holding Hands and Sticking Together
Thank you for such a wonderful laugh! It always rolls that way doesn't it!!!
~Fern
Well, things like that happen to us. It may be embarassing but it will also serve as a lesson for use not to be complacent with our jobs. It was a good laugh though. It will serve as a good memory. 🙂
– TheBestofChimes.com
OMG I've read this five times and was screaming each time! But you can be sure now that I am going to have some super duper pull it out of a hat idea for when "they" come to my room that I can just turn on at a moment's notice! You've scared me straight!
What the hello kitty!.. You are an awesome teacher. I want your autograph. You're saving my life. I read your post everyday to get ideas for the next school day. LOL. Thanx to you I use Gold Tags, have Fun Friday, just a about to start daily sharing, have many lessons to get ready including shark vs. goldfish, cakewalk, etc. But isn't that always the way it goes. I rarely sit at my desk, yet most of the time the principal comes in, yes I'm sitting at my desk.
Thanx for making my days easier. You are a goddess!
Oh my! Am so glad to hear it happens to not just me. Still laughing with you, as we teachers ALL try so hard to let them know we are kid-friendly, doing awesome lessons that they want to see, etc. You are my teacher-hero and they've GOT to know how wonderful you are! Keep on sharing! It helps us all! Love your ideas too! Thank you.
LOL!!! So funny!!!
Fantastic!!! Ordered for a company event at quite Basketball trophy last minute. Huge variety which made it difficult to choose (but I am not complaining!!) The products were excellent.