Well, you people of Blog Land, you Blog Land people, you touched my heart like nobody’s business. I am seriously in awe of your response to my post about Jon. I can literally feel the prayers and I am so thankful for all of you.
I will keep you updated on Jon’s progress but, for now, I want to be able to blog like normal. I want to write about my day, the ideas, the stories, etc. But I also don’t want to appear insensitive.
Jon and his family are on this journey day by day. They are trying to live in the present. That means homework and school and outside activities and Skylanders, etc.
I want to do the same.
I hope I can do that without anyone wondering how I could joke or be sarcastic or smile.
I hope you know I have to joke and be sarcastic and smile.
I hope this is okay.
With all of that being said, I don’t really know how to segue into The Bachelor and Juan Pablo.
Me gusta Juan Pablo.
Does that work?
I watched the Sunday night special introduction and was pleasantly surprised. But I didn’t take notes and, seeing as how I’ve been in Common Core trainings for two days, that means I don’t remember anything that happened. Well, other than the Common Core information, of course. That’s rock solid and firmly in my memory awaiting implementation. Obviously.
So let’s talk about last night’s episode!
I was impressed with the smart beautiful girls. My word. Who knew there were that many of us?
Below are the girls that warrant special attention, according to me. Please comment if I forgot someone noteworthy. (I didn’t notes last night either. Common Core training takes the note-taking right out of you.)
1. Flower girl with no shoes. What? What? Um, it’s a cocktail party. And as much as I’d want to wear my pajamas, I wouldn’t. So I think shoes should be worn. Call me stuffy, but at least I wear shoes to a cocktail party.
2. Piano girl??? Really? She had to play her ten second song to show that she writes music for a living? Push. Push. I got it, I got it. No, I got it! Heave. Push.
I have a tip for piano girl: Wait to see if there is a piano at the mansion. If there is, play it. If there isn’t, use your words.
3. Fake pregnant girl.
Well, I have no words. So the tip from above does not apply here.
4. Science experiment girl — sort of cute. I liked it.
5. Pediatric Nurse — I like her a lot so far. I was okay with her gimmick of the heart stethoscope.
6. Soccer Player — eh.
7. First Grade Teacher — well, I wish she wouldn’t have talked to him like he was one of her first graders.
Wait a minute. Shoot.
I feel like I’ve heard that before. It’s kind of ringing a bell. Maybe my husband has said it? Surely not.
I don’t talk to him like he’s one of my first graders.
No . . . not me.
8. Fish hook girl – um, I’m not sure a fish hook is really a gift. I mean, if that was given to me, I’d wonder where the fishing pole was. That’s like giving someone only one sock. Or one twix. Or one peanut butter cup.
9. The dog — has that been done before?
And, yes, I imagined Murphie in that role and it went a lot better.
10. The Red Hots Prescription girl — that was cute! I liked that. I also wanted to eat some Red Hots after that.
11. Opera Singer — she didn’t sing. Thank you. We all thank you.
Juan Pablo played music for the girls, they danced, and he even had a photo booth. I wonder if this was his idea or if ABC decided to liven up the party?
Flower Girl’s job was listed as “Free Spirit”.
I wonder if I could list my job as “Stressed and Loves to Eat Chocolate”.
Did the masseuse put oil all over his suit???? I think maybe her job should have been listed as “Nut”.
As in “Nut Job.”
Ohhhhh, the Okie girl.
At the beginning of the episode, her hometown was listed as Edmond. Which just so happens to be where I grew up. Yup.
After she had her
little big meltdown, her town changed from Edmond to Oklahoma City.
We are pretty proud people in Edmond. I’m thinking the mayor or somebody else important called up and disowned her or something.
Okie needs to get some therapy to get over her last relationship. Either that, or some ice cream. Oh, and somebody get her some kleenex and then I really hope she remembers to wash her hands.
Then, after crying and carrying on, Okie decided to use her one-on-one time with Juan Pablo to talk about how hurt she is from her broken off engagement. OH HOLY INAPPROPRIATENESS.
She said “I don’t want to lead with this, but I-Have-Issues-Please-Pick-Me-I-Love-You-I-Want-To-Be-A-Stepmom-I-Love-You-Snot-Snort-Deep-Voice-Please-Pick-Me.
Then Juan Pablo fell head over heels with the Opera Singer — he was so impressed!
But then Opera Singer felt let down!! She thought they would have better chemistry.
Maybe Juan Pablo should have taken his shirt off. That might have helped.
He gave her the first impression rose and she hesitated. Actually, she didn’t just hesitate. She waited and waited.
And then she accepted it. Kind of in a “I don’t really want to, but there’s a camera on me so maybe I should” way.
Now that was an opera!
At the end of the rose ceremony, we had to say goodbye to the massage therapist, (called it!) the Okie (nailed it!), and an interior designer we didn’t even get to know so I had no way of knowing that one. Not my fault.
It looks like it’s going to be a really good season.
Did you see the tail end of the episode last night? Sean and Juan Pablo’s shirts magically fell off.
I laughed and laughed.
What are your thoughts? Who do you like? Did I miss something important?