We ended last week’s episode with
To Be Continued . . .
Well, it bothered a lot of people. Not just me.
No one was a fan of To Be Continued.
Would Ben keep Olivia or send her home? That’s how the episode began. There was a lot of speculation.
Ben pulled Olivia aside and let her know that he was confused by some of the things that were said.
Olivia said she became a target when Ben gave her the first impression rose. And then she said the word like a million times.
Like, the girls think I’m aggressive because I grab you.
Like, I’m just different.
Like, the girls like to paint their nails.
And, like, I like to read books in my room and, like, think.
Like, I like to talk smart. (direct quote)
Then she got emotional.
And the next thing the girls knew, Ben was escorting Ben back into the room with the girls, and Olivia still had the rose.
Olivia was happy to have come back in the room because she was sure the girls thought she was leaving . . . and then she said, all tough-like . . . COME AT ME, BRO. And the girls can suck it.
Do people really talk like this? And, especially, news anchors? I think it’s time we learned which news she is actually anchoring and do they understand that she is an actual anchor and pulls everything down around her with her negativity?
Do you see what I did there? 😉
Then the Rose Ceremony started.
He sent home Jennifer. She said he didn’t know who she was. Well, I’m sorry to say, Jennifer, but we didn’t know who you were, either. Poor thing.
Ben told the girls they were going to the Bahamas next. When they got there, the girls oohed and aahed over their rooms and beds and mimosas.
Harrison showed up and let them know that there would be a Group Date, a One-on-One, and the DREADED Two-on-One.
A girl named Leah (we don’t know her in much the same way we didn’t know Jennifer) was hoping that she would get some one-on-one time with Ben because she’s pretty much one of the only ones left who hasn’t been “validated”.
By the way, that’s the new word this season – validate. Validation. Validated.
Even though Emily, the twin, hasn’t had a one-on-one, she got extra time when there was the whole twin debacle. And Olivia has apparently had lots of validation.
Well, Leah didn’t get the one-on-one. Caila did. She already had a one-on-one (you might remember that Kevin Hart and some other guy also went on the date). So Leah was NOT HAPPY. She cried and cried. She said there was no reason for her to be there and she was not going to put herself through a two-on-one. She thought she looked like a fool.
Also, interestingly enough, Leah said that she and Ben live ten minutes from each other.
Anywho . . . Ben took Caila deep sea fishing. He felt he needed to get to know her better. And by get to know her better, he meant see her in a swimsuit and kiss her over and over and over and over and over.
During dinner, Ben wanted to get through all of the smiles and bubbly-ness of Caila and see what was under there. He was concerned she smiled too much. For example, what if Ben was struggling through something – how would she handle it? Um . . . this kind of bothered me just because they are only on their second date and what else should she be doing besides smiling and being bubbly? And we all know how much Ben likes a girl with a positive attitude . . . but apparently, Ben also likes a girl who can cry.
Caila felt he put her on the spot. She said she knew she needed to be vulnerable, but she didn’t want to talk about her deepest, darkest secrets (which made me want to know what they were!). But, at the same time, she told him she thinks she loves him.
LISTEN TO CAILA’S GREATEST FEAR:
She is afraid she is going to hurt him.
Well, that’s a new one. Haven’t seen that strategy before. While most girls are throwing themselves at whatever bachelor is on the show, here comes Caila saying she will probably hurt the bachelor because she is just that good. Or just that smoking hot. Or just that much of a catch.
I think I like this girl. I think it’s funny.
………………………..Back at the hotel…………………………
The group date card arrived and Leah learned that she was on it. And, instead of being relieved, she was upset because at least on the two-on-one, she would have had some quality time with him.
I’ve decided that Leah doesn’t know what she wants and I’d like to stop listening to her and if I knew her in real life, I might have to take her in small doses.
It turns out that Olivia and Emily (the twin) will be going on the two-on-one. Olivia wanted nothing to do with Emily because she is so so so young. This, from Olivia, who is 23. And, by the way, Emily is the same exact age.
Although, I do feel like Olivia is older, and she looks older, so I’m thinking she gave ABC a fake I.D. and she is, in fact, 39.
……………………………..Back to Caila’s Date………………………………
Ben was doing his whole I am a communicator and I like to talk and I like to get to the bottom of things so Caila was all about that and she started saying I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel . . . she must have said it a thousand times.
Anyways, whatever, she’s really cute, and she confused him, but he talked her through it, so he gave her a rose. And Caila was happy and grateful and there you go.
Next up was the Group Date. Ben took the girls on a boat for a little swimming and relaxation. It was edited in such a way that I was literally afraid for them because I was sure there were sharks in the water.
I don’t like sharks. Who does? Who actually thinks yes, I’d like to swim with a shark today. It sounds fun. Maybe it will bite off my hand. How cool.
But, instead, in a weird, bizarre, only The Bachelor can think of this, pigs were swimming in the water.
Ben had some “chicken” hotdogs (sure, sure) for the girls to give to the pigs and then the pigs were practically shark-like.
They went nuts.
And they pretty much attacked the girls and the girls were screaming and running for their lives.
IT. WAS. HILARIOUS.
These pigs were kind of vicious which makes me feel just fine and dandy about my love for bacon.
Ben thought the girls were having a great time, but they were terrified. I actually think he was, too.
Things died down and then the date took a turn. Ben felt uncomfortable and the girls felt uncomfortable. Some thought he was obsessing over Lauren B. Some thought he wasn’t looking at them or paying any attention to them.
Ben *finally* approached Leah. After the hi and how are you, Leah just started crying and complaining about the fact that she didn’t have a one-on-one.
He was a good listener (per usual), but Leah didn’t feel better after their conversation (which was basically hang in there with me).
After the Let’s Swim with Sharks Dressed Up as Pigs part of the date, Ben pulled each girl aside and tried to get things back on track.
He kissed Becca and Amanda.
Then Leah decided to use her precious one-on-one time (that she felt she never got enough of) to tell Ben that Lauren B. was not who he thought she was. That Lauren acted differently around Ben than she did when she was with the girls (which isn’t true).
Lauren B. promptly interrupted their alone time.
Ben told Lauren B. right away what was said. Lauren wasn’t sure how to respond so she didn’t. Instead, she got kind of quiet. Ben tried to reassure her . . . but when Lauren got back with the girls, she broke down and told them what happened.
Leah said your name was brought up? Well, I didn’t say anything.
Which, I think we all know, IS A BIG FAT LIE because, um YES, SHE DID.
She then said I would never be the type of person to single someone out. Okay, Leah, you sure do know how to make yourself look good.
Lauren B. just kept crying.
Ben gave the rose to Amanda . . . which made Lauren B. wonder why she didn’t get it, and was it because of what was said? Leah was relieved that Lauren B. didn’t get the rose, but she said she would need to do something extreme.
Emily, Lauren B., and Amanda re-hashed everything, and Amanda stroked Emily’s arm. This right here tells the world that Amanda is a mom, if nothing else does.
Leah got ready in the bathroom and went to visit Ben. Talk about EXTREME.
She knocked on Ben’s door (it appeared as if he had a suite or an entire house to himself in the Bahamas) and he said he was excited to see her and was happy she was there.
And, once again, Leah brought up Lauren B.
Leah tried to make it look as if Lauren B. wasn’t as into Ben as she was. She said wasn’t trying to sabotage anything he had with someone. Uh, sure.
But . . . Ben is good. He was disappointed that she was using her time to discuss other girls. Again. And he felt a disconnect. He said something doesn’t feel right and then he asked her if it felt right to her and she said well, yeah!
Ha! Oh, Leah.
Leah, Leah, Leah.
No, no, no. NO.
He told her it would be best if they just said goodbye. And he walked her out. That’s kind of what she gets, if you ask me.
Leah was sad. She wasn’t expecting him to tell her goodbye. She said he was a fool (although she, herself, felt foolish).
Then it was the TWO on ONE.
Olivia was super excited for her uninterrupted time. You know! Olivia and Ben have been writing their love story this whole time. And it’s beautiful.
Wait. You didn’t know?
Well, Olivia does. Not sure Ben knows it, either, but Olivia does!
Dun Dun Dun. TWO ON ONE. Dun Dun Dun. (I sang a little tune to that since it rhymed)
They finally made it to the beach. Ben grabbed Olivia first.
Olivia felt like she didn’t need to prove anything to Ben. Their love is that all consuming, ever present, constantly growing kind of love. Direct quote.
Olivia told him she was an “introvert, grounded, strong, confident, in tune with her body, that deep intellectual things are her jam, she’s come to many amazing realizations lately, such as she knows Ben is right, and she’s in love with him!”
He hardly said a word.
They kissed though. Which was gross.
When Emily and Ben had alone time, Emily just said “I want this, I want to be validated, I want to grow, I want you there, I want this to be our beginning, I want, I want, I want, I want, I want”.
Then her hair got in her face so he fixed it for her. The weather was TERRIBLE on this beach. It seemed as if a hurricane was on its way.
I’m thinking maybe the Bahamas is not for me.
This is not a good look.
But there was no kissing.
And it kind of fell flat.
Olivia had no doubt in her mind whatsoever at all because of all the validation she had been getting.
Seriously – validation is the new word. It’s beating out connection.
Ben grabbed the rose and took Olivia for a little walk.
And then he said he wasn’t going to be able to reciprocate her feelings. And that he couldn’t give her the rose.
I think it was kind of mean that he carried the rose with him. Just saying. But Olivia hasn’t always been the nicest so . . . oh well.
To say Olivia was shocked is an understatement. Perhaps the understatement of the century.
She felt that Ben let go of a really good person today. And then she cried and cried. And they just left her on the beach. All by herself. As ABC tends to do on these sad little two-on-ones.
Ben was not up for a Cocktail Party. It was a weird trip in the Bahamas and he felt lonely.
Jojo and Lauren B. were both really upset because they thought they would get some time with him. Jono cried a lot.
Ben gave roses to Becca, Jojo, and Lauren B.
That means that Lauren H. (kindergarten teacher) went home. Which is really a bummer because I related to her, but . . . I knew she wasn’t for Ben. I don’t know how. I just did. I called it.
He walked her out and said he was sorry, but it wasn’t too emotional on his side. Lauren H. said she didn’t get it, she doesn’t know what he wants, she’s so sick of being alone, and why isn’t love happening for her . . .
Hang in there, Lauren! I think she quit her job (I think she said that) so YIKES.
The previews for the upcoming episodes show lots and lots and lots of tears, plus Ben playing with Amanda’s two daughters, and Ben telling TWO women that he loves them. And then possibly, maybe, at the finale, he decides he sent the wrong girl home and he calls her??? I don’t know.
Looks like it might get a little more interesting.
This Sunday, there is a special episode about the Bachelor turning 20. I am just going to be watching that one for fun . . . with a glass of wine and no laptop . . . in a Happy Valentine’s Day sort of way so thanks for understanding. 🙂
At the very very very very end of the episode, it showed a clip of a bat getting into the girls’ hotel room (or house or whatever) and they were all screaming and freaking out and laughing super hard so then I was laughing super hard (because I would have been dying if a bat was indoors) and then come to find out . . . it was just a GIGANTIC butterfly.
Oh my word these posts are my favorite! So I thought that BRINGING THE ROSE to DUMP Olivia was cruel. I was NEVER a fan of her but, man, that was hard to watch, making her stand off in the distance and watch them…that was mean…
On the group date I though all the girls had perfect wet beach hair! Did you see that? My hair is always a tangled salt water mess! I want to know THAT Bachelor secret, sexy beach hair minutes after being attacked by wild pigs.
As far as the finale goes it DOES seem like he sends girl 1 home, then girl 2 comes…who he sends home…and then calls girl 1 and asks her to come back?…gosh I'm so excited to watch!
It's not Tuesday until I have read your Bachelor recap. The whole episode my mom and I are texting each other with "are you kidding me?" "that's ridiculous" and "ugh I hope she goes home" but I love hearing your thoughts on this craziness too. I was a little sad for Lauren H because she's from my town and a teacher 🙁 BOO but I knew she wasn't going to be the one too.
The weather though! Crazy horrible hurricane type weather.
And I was thinking the same thing about the finale… like he calls the girl back AAAHHH
Teaching is a Royal Adventure says
I'm pretty sure the swimming with pigs scene was the hardest I've ever laughed watching the Bachelor. That was hilarious!
Love, Laughter and Learning in Prep! says
I felt kind of bad for giggling as Ben and Emily were speeding away from the island, with Olivia standing there howling… but man that was funny. 🙂
Miss Kindergarten says
I mean I would cry too if I was left alone on that island in that HORRIBLE hurricane weather ??
Your recap is hilarious and I don't even watch The Bachelor. Ha! 🙂