I did not go to school today.
I wish I could tell you I was off playing hooky. Or that I was out today because I was at Disneyland’s 24 Hour Leap Day Extravaganza. I wasn’t. My lucky 16 year old niece was, though. And SHE played hooky today so that she could sleep. (She was there until 6:30 this morning. I don’t think I could do that anymore.)
Nope. I was at the dentist. And as far as the procedure goes that I had done, let’s just say, “OUCH” and move on.
My dentist is a family affair. My hubby’s aunt works there — the aunt we go to church with. They take very good care of us. But it is far away from where I live so it is an all day thing. And everyone is in my business. My beezwax. My life. And my ear.
Yes, my ear. Hubby’s aunt starts playing with my ear while my mouth is open and the dentist is inserting instruments that do not belong in there.
Aunt says, “Have you had this mole checked?”
Say what? What? Huh?
I said, “Jwiheihjoihlkehihlk??” Why do people try to talk to you when you have equipment in your mouth, and cotton holding your tongue down? WHY?
Aunt says, “This doesn’t look right. Dr.? What do you think?”
Doctor Dentist looks and says, “You should get that checked right away. And it’s in a sun spot, too.”
Since when do dentists learn about skin cancer in dentistry school?
Next, I see the hygenist. Like I said, all day adventure. Procedure followed by teeth cleaning. And lots of drool. I was pretty.
Aunt says, “Hygenist, what do you think of this?” as she tugs on my ear.
Hygenist says, “Well, she needs to see a periodontist, but she should definitely get that looked at first.” (I need to see a periodontist? NOW WHAT?)
GUH-REAT. I go in for a teeth procedure and come out with skin cancer. People, this is my life. Don’t worry. It’s not catching. Just for me. If you have it, I’ll get it. If it’s hereditary, I’ll inherit it. My sisters and my brother were relieved to find out that having your gall bladder removed was hereditary (mom, aunt, and grandma no longer have theirs). Relieved because I would get my gall bladder taken out for them later on in life. No problem. Got it covered. Kristin will do it.
I leave the dentist’s office, dejected and upset. Waaaa. And all that. Sniffle, sniffle. (Not really. But I have cried leaving the dentist’s before. Once, I was still IN the office, but it wasn’t my hubby’s aunt’s office. They didn’t know me. First time visit. And I cried so hard that they asked me if I wanted a lollipop. True story.)
I start up my car and decide to look in the rearview mirror at this unseemly mole.
??????WHAT THE HECK?????
I have never noticed it before. And it is cause for concern. Oh no. I am dying. Hiccup. It’s been real. I’ll miss you.
And then.
Tilt head. Quizzical look. Lean closer.
Whaaat?
Lick finger.
Rub.
Lick finger.
Rub.
It disappears. IT DISAPPEARS.
Because, folks, it was HAIR DYE!!!!!!
From my hair appointment yesterday!
Or maybe it was chocolate – you never know with me and those Cadbury mini eggs laying around.
I am going to LIVE! I have a second lease on life! I am going to change the world!
But first, is Jersey Shore on tonight? ๐
PS I promise to have a poem for you guys by this weekend.
omg. You are the best. I needed that laugh so badly ๐
Katie
Stuff like that happens to me too. At least you're blonde. I usually have black dots on my forehead or nose that people are telling me about. Yuck. I was home too, but I had a snow day.
Kimberley
First in Maine
Oh my gosh!!!!! Toooooo funny!!!! How could they not see that????? Glad you could lick it off! I would love to be playing hooky tomorrow after the long week and that lovely state test but no…..I really do need to go…it's my student teacher's last day:( I am going to miss her…it has been fun!!
4th Grade Frolics
This, for realzzzzzzzzzz, had me rollin'
Thanks for the constant comic relief ๐
Elizabeth
PS~glad you are OK.
Fun in Room 4B
Oh my word…so glad it disappeared! I was worried about you! How funny…my dentist office is also a family affair.
Bonnie
Living A Wonderful Life
You had me rollin'! Thanks for my daily smile and laugh! I really needed it! ๐
Cheryl
Crayons and Curls
While I was worried for you at first, by the end you had me laughing so hard my son started looking at me like I was crazy. Thanks for the laugh and I am glad you tried to get it off before you went to have it checked. However…that could have been an even better story…hmmmmm.
I'm crying right now from laughing!!!!!!
This was hysterical!!! I needed a good laugh! Glad you are ok!
Elisabeth
http://www.missdelk.blogspot.com
OMG! H.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s I definitely needed a good laugh. Thank you for always providing a good laugh when I need it the most.
โคFirst Grade Delightโค
imgoingfirst@gmail.com
Oh, my gosh, disaster averted! I guess that's why he's a dentist and not a dermatologist.
Buzzing with Ms. B
Whew!~
I am so glad you aren't dying!
How great though that EVERYONE in the office got to look at your ear! Thank goodness nothing dripped down your shirt yesterday!!!!
Staci
Going Nutty!
misssquirrels@yahoo.com
well me being an X hair dresser and all… (does that sound okie/hairdresserish enough?) that one had me rolling But I kinda had a feeling!!! So glad you don't have to have your ear removed!!! LMBO!!
Tammy
First Grade @ Klinger Cafe
That is hilarious! (glad it wasn't anything bad!!)
Jennifer
First Grade Blue SKies
YIKES! I was ready to stand on a corner and take collections.
Glad you are going to live.
I, for one, need you to be okay.
Now that I know they are not removing body parts or essential organs, I am laughing–especially about trying to talk when people have cotton and utensils taking up valuable space.
And the drooling!
Kim
Finding JOY in 6th Grade
LOL…LOL….and more LOL! That was exactly what I needed today. Thanks!
Ann
I'm cracking up! All this trouble/worry over a spot that was washed away ๐
Journey of a Substitute Teacher
Oh my gosh…seriously?!?! With that light as bright as the sun shining on you they couldn't tell it WASN'T a growth?!?!? That's a hoot and a hollar…I'm so glad we can remain bloggy friends.
Still laughing…
Holly
Crisscross Applesauce in First Grade
Love it! Thanks for sharing, just what I needed after today. And so glad it wasn't nothing serious.
I totally agree with your new outlook on life. I would have the same if that happened to me! I hope you have a great Friday!
OMGoodness! I am so relieeevd! I am totally cracking up..did you call them back so they can sleep tonight? xoxo
LOL! That's all I can say!
โคTeri
A Cupcake for the Teacher
bahahahahaahha
Rachel
Ms. Rachelโs Room
OH-MY-WORD!!!! =)
okay, seriously?! How is the next post so much better than the last?? No wonder your principal is forcing so much language arts time on you. You are AMAZING!!!
I am sitting in a crowded dance studio (picture dance moms-seriously) watching my daughter dance while I blogstalk and I laughed out loud. OUT LOUD in front of stranger dance moms. We are new to this dance thing. Tryouts are tomorrow and so here we are at 9:30 at night on a school night in a dance studio …but now the dance mom's might think I am a crazy because I am not watching staring glaring at all the girls and critiquing them–I am on my computer laughing out loud. oh dear.
TOTALLY worth it. OH MY GOSH. hair dye/cancer. HILARIOUS.
ahasdfashdfahsdkfhajsdlhahhhhhhhh! OMG My side hurts!
LOVE. YOU!
โค Dragonflies in First โค
Omg! That was too funny!
Whew! I was seriously worried there. So glad it was dye or chocolate. That is hilarious!
2B Honey Bunch
The Best Endings
Bahahaha! So happy to hear you'll pull through. ๐
You are just the cutest! Your stories always make me laugh out loud. Keep them coming, girl!
โฅSamantha
Learning with a Happy Heart
OH MY GOSH… I had a COMPLETE opposite story…REALLY… one time the hair washer at the salon kept scrubbing my head after a dye job…. she kept putting soap on the same spot over and over.. I was enjoying the head massage but the constant rubbing on one spot got me out of my trance… and then I remembered I had a mole there and she was trying to wash it away… I had never thought of it as being "blotchy" went to the dr and YEPPERS… skin cancer….. YIKEs… this was about 5 years ago… and all is well now… my motto is check your spots and thank goodness your spot was just hair dye ๐ LOL
You are just too cute!! I didn't see the ending of that story coming but ya had me til the end!! BTW, I HATE the dentist!! I always pass out in the chair! Seriously, faint…dead away….It's a personal problem! he he!
Rebecca
Teaching First
So glad it's nothing to worry about. You had me cracking up. I hate it when they try to talk to your with their fingers in your mouth too!
Girl- you just made me laugh so hard I nearly had an asthma attack! Darn that hair dye! Too funny. So thankful you are safe and sound! Ha!
Rowdy in First Grade
And that, my friend, proves that dentists in fact DO NOT learn about skin cancer in dentistry school! bwhahaha!!
I have a supersize freckle on my face (like suuuuupersize) and my hairdresser was using the alcohol towel thing to get the dye off of my neck and she kept rubbing on a spot on my face – I had to tell her it was a freckle. She was arguing with me that it was dye! Uh, no. it's a freckle (it's really a weird splotch, but I call it a freckle) she wiped it for a while before she said, Oh yeah! it IS a freckle! Denise
Sunny Days In Second Grade
This is why I love reading your posts. Haha hilarious. You have a true talent in blogging! ๐ I'm SO glad you are going to live. ๐
Second Grade Sugar and Spice
Girl, you are too funny! Glad it was a false alarm though!!
Jenn
Finally in First
OMG – you are so stinkin' hilarious! I'm so glad you were able to lick that "skin cancer" away!
You are SO funny!! My husband actually just called up the stairs and asked if I was okay!
I am so glad you started The Bronze Horseman. Isn't it fabulous?!
-Megan
First Grade Magic
Love it!!!!
Mrs. Wills Kindergarten
Uuhh… maybe the dentistry profession needs to include classes on bedside manners. The next time you go back there, you should smear a bigger glob of brown stuff on the said "mole" and throw in some darker brown eyeliner in there. Then, tell them you're too busy to check it out but it seems to be getting bigger and changing colors. Also, have some fake hair fall out of your head as your waiting in the chair. Mean? Yes, but they deserve it after scaring you like that!
That is too funny! Glad you're okay but I'm a little jealous – I cried at the dentist one time – and NO offer of a lollipop! ๐ Lisa
First Class with Mrs. Mac
Glad the mole wasn't. I have never cried at the dentist just going or coming. I hate the smell of the office, it brings back bad orthodontist memories (I did cry there, several times).
Keep writing, its so fun to read.
jill bubbalulu.blogspot.com
Aw. Don't you just hate the dentist? I've cried too. Glad to hear you only have hair dye disease :))
Barbara
Grade ONEderful
Glad you are okay!Thank you for sharing with us and letting us laugh along with you. I look forward to your blog every day!
Glad that everything is fine and you are not going to "DYE"! I just love your BLOG and can't wait to read it each day. Thanks for sharing your sense of humor with so many people– I know I've said this before, but you crack me up! ๐
Just.peed.my.pants!!!!!!!!
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNNNYYYYYYYYY
And Jen's comment above mine…..PRICELESS!!!!!
Kristin you aren't going to "dye".
bhahahahahahahaahha
I'm sooo glad that was hair dye! You freaked me out for about 30 seconds! Hope your teeth are clean and sparkly!
Happy weekend!
Kerri b
teacherbitsandbobs
I am rolling on the floor and my husband is looking at me like I have lost my mind or maybe my kinders have finally pushed me over the edge. True story.
Need another true story…I have passed out in the dentist chair. Twice. Second time it was my husband's cousin's husband (does that make him a cousin-in-law?) and to top it off I had one of those blue rubber things in my mouth because I was getting a root canal. When I passed out I threw up. Yup! all over my cousin-in-law and because of the blue rubber thing it came out my nose. Yup! Then he asked if I wanted to go home and try another day. Heck no!! I am finally numb and I was not about to go through that again. Do it now and get it over with. I went home and spent the rest of the day in bad.
Love your blog!
Terri
OMG, that was hilarious! I love how all of these trained professionals didn't pick up on the fact that it was dye and not a mole. LOL
I just love reading your blog and nominated your for an award. Stop by to get it.
Thanks again for your great posts!
Deb
Simply the Classroom
Hahaha, that's so funny. My friend has a mole next to her mouth that we all think is food on her face ALL the time. Thanks for sharing!
I am so glad you are okay…my mom told me there were 2 things you never joke about- being sick or being pregnant! You had me worrying!
I think dentist and waiters must be trained to ask you questions when you have something in your mouth!
I am so happy all is well and ended with laughs! =)
Heather
Heather's Heart
Hi Sweet Friend! I just love your blog to pieces!! I've given you the One Lovely Blog Award. Please stop by and check it out!
Hugs,
Rebecca
Teaching First
OMGosh…."laughter is a good medicine"–thank your or sharing your life with us!!
I replied to your comment on my post, so the long version is there; here is the short version:
Class limit is 15.
I had 12 and 2 moved.
Now I have 10, 2 were absent.
Please don't hate me or boycott my blog.
My salary is circa 1995.
Do you feel better now? ๐
ReadWriteSing
I have NO idea why I can't spell today. I meant "you".
Wow! You had me worried, followed by snorting laughter. My dentist told me that I needed to see an OB/GYN because he thought I was pregnant. He was right!!!!
This post cracked me up!
Adventures of a Third Grade Teacher
I just gave you an award! Come over to my blog to check it out!!
Thanks for always giving me so much inspiration!!
I gave you an awardโฆ.check it out on my blog!!
Heather
Up Owl Night
I'm sure you got this a bajillion time but….
I love your blog and gave it an award:) Pop by to check it out:)
4th Grade Frolics
OMG I just spewed coffee all over my computer screen! Note to self- no drinking while reading Kristin's posts! I am so glad it was just chocolate (or hair dye, but come on, chocolate is just so much funnier!) and that you'll be around for a good long while to keep cracking me up!
Jennifer @ Herding Kats in Kindergarten
Hi! I gave you a little award…come and get it!
Natalie
TeacheryTidbits
Made me laugh! Glad it was only hair dye! ๐
TeachPrayLove
Kristin I heart your blog so much! I just gave you an award!
http://herdingkats.blogspot.com/2012/03/top-of-evening-to-you.html
Jennifer @ Herding Kats In Kindergarten
This cracked me up! Thanks for the early morning laugh!
Elyse
http://www.mycherrytopped.life.com
I love your stories! This was a riot! I laughed out loud and then had to share it with my hubby!
Ashley
http://firstgradesmartcookies.blogspot.com
I love your blog so much!!
I feel the same way about the dentist (I still get nitrus oxide cuz I get so anxious)……and then the dental people think I'm under the influence and they talk about how nervous I am and about my excess saliva and I'm thinking: I can still hear you! And then I ask them to turn up the nitus.
Also thanks for the reality updates, I'm still here in London with NO bachelor, real housewives, etc! having withdrawals.
Kelli
talesfromatravelingteacher.blogspot.com