People. Listen up.
I have almost nothing to say about the Beverly Hills Housewives Reunion Part 3.
I do have to say that this here junkie still has the shakes.
I was disappointed. I wanted more. More drama. More fights. More tears. More gossip. More, more, more.
As far as Kim goes . . . it’s just sad. I have personal experience in that arena (NO, NO, NO, I’m not a recovering anything so don’t go down that road) but I do know what Kim has put her family through, and it’s just sad. Sad for the family. Thad. Tho Thad.
Thank goodness I’ve got the O.C. Housewives for my weekly fix.
Okay, The Bachelor. Ben. The guy I don’t like at all anymore. Seriously, how did he get picked?
Here we go. Ben took the girls to Belize. All by himself. I believe he paid for the trip and everything. He’s rich, you know. He lives on a vineyard. So he took them to Belize and then he decided to wear a funny looking tank top. It’s probably trendy and all that, but I didn’t like it. Maybe if it had been on Brad Womack . . . or Ryan Gosling . . .
Lindzi gets the first one on one. She is so excited.
I’m not. It’s helicopters and headphones again. Gross.
And it’s jumping off of the helicopter into a big hole in the ocean that Ben seems to know a lot about. So is he memorizing his knowledge or reading it off of cue cards?
I was SO SHOCKED when Lindzi said she was afraid of heights. You’ve got to be kidding me! No way! Surely there aren’t THREE girls on THREE different “let’s get as high as we can and jump off things” dates who are afraid of heights??? Isn’t that interesting? I just can’t believe it.
Ben is very original when he says that there’s nothing they can’t accomplish if they can’t jump off this helicopter into the ocean. I mean, that is one unique statement, don’t you agree? And I don’t know about you and yours, but as for the hubs and me, we have NEVER had to face that kind of ULTIMATE FEAR together. The worst thing must have been that time we were in the grocery store and they had run out of Ben and Jerry’s Coffee Heath Bar Crunch ice cream. I know!! To this day, I don’t know how we got over it. But we did. We accomplished something on that fateful day. So I totally get where Ben is coming from. But it could never measure up.
They go on to do other things, like put a message in a bottle, and blah, blah, blah. I may have fast forwarded a tad.
Emily gets the next one-on-one date and Courtney is SAD. Ha! Ha! Ha! I mean, that’s too bad. Maybe better luck next time.
I was so happy to see Emily and Ben RIDE BICYCLES. We have a new form of transportation!!!! No headphones required! Just pedal. And don’t get sweaty. Please, Ben. Don’t get sweaty.
They come across a lobster man and he takes them on his boat to go get their own!!!! And Emily is so happy about the spontaneity of it all. Because there’s no way this was already set up, right? Ben was just as surprised so I truly believe this was spur of the moment. Right? I’m sure the cameras weren’t already on the boat or anything like that. Nope.
I love me some lobster. Dee-lish! But I don’t feel the need to catch my own lobster. Much in the same way that I don’t feel the need to catch a cow. Or a chicken. Or even a pig, for that matter.
Ben and Emily kissed A LOT. Insert sound effects here and you get the jist of how the rest of their date went. Bleck.
Courtney continues to whine, whine, whine about her loss of connection with Ben. It’s really unbecoming.
But then, “Snap!” she gets her one on one. “Snap!”
They come across a temple. Again, this is completely out of the blue and was not put in their path on purpose.
Ben decides to tell Courtney that he wants someone weird. With an edge. Maybe he should just date himself????
As they climbed each step, they felt as if they were taking the next step in their relationship. And as they climbed higher, they were leaving all of the hurt behind them. I completely fell for this metaphor. It’s so true!! Haven’t they been together for about 3 weeks or so? I’d need to leave a lot of hurt and bitterness behind me, too, after that long in a relationship.
Courtney then tells the camera that she is high on love. “Snap!” She sums up her love for Ben by pretending to shoot all of the other girls. And then says “Kill Shot!” (which I don’t get. What does that mean? Does it mean what I think it means?). But she doesn’t want to get cocky.
Hmmmmm. Am I the only one worried about this chick?
Courtney tells Ben that she has been nothing but nice to the other girls.
What? Am I getting the girls mixed up again? Isn’t Courtney the one who’s really mean? Who doesn’t forgive? Who pretends to shoot people with her guns made of fingers?
Let’s move on to the group date. Shark diving. Why not? Who would have a fear of sharks?
Oh, Rachel does. Silly girl. Why would she be afraid of sharks? I saw Soul Surfer and Open Water and now every time I swim with sharks, I like to pet them. In fact, I’d like one for a pet. But Rachel is afraid. Like I said, silly girl.
They swim. With sharks. It’s all completely harmless.
UNTIL KACIE B. GETS ATTACKED BY ONE!
Just kidding! Thought I’d put that out there in case someone hasn’t seen it yet. Ha!
Kacie B. gets the rose.
Niki and Kacie B. warn Ben to tread lightly around Courtney.
Does this remind anyone of Jake Pavelko (ewwww – I was never a fan! Never!) and Vienna? No one wanted Jake to pick Vienna and then he did. And look what happened. Did you SEE the Bachelor Pad? Good grief. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Is Ben going to pick Courtney????????!!!!!!!!!!! Say it isn’t so!
At the “cocktail hour” (which wasn’t really a cocktail hour because Ben made up his mind and told Chris Harrison to cancel the cocktails), Courtney is all fun and bubbly and wants everyone to lighten up. She says, “Ben’s not the only guy in the world.”
Correct. Girls, get off this show and go find someone with better hair.
Before the rose ceremony can really get under way, Ben asks to speak to Courtney. The rest of the girls are all a-twitter. “Is he going to give her a rose?” “Do you think she’s going to get a rose?” “Will he?” “Won’t he?”
Niki, in her profound knowledge of rose ceremonies and mathematics, says, “It’s 50/50.”
I thought it was more 60/40 but she set me straight right quick.
Courtney accepted her rose with her baby voice. And then said “See ya. Wouldn’t want to be ya.” Hey! That rhymes!
We have to say goodby to Rachel and Emily. They cry. A lot.
And now we’re off to the hometown dates. 🙂 Can’t wait!!!
PS Did you see Courtney with the tarantula? I guess black widows and tarantulas get along, huh? BOO-YAH!