Happy Tuesday, people!
I thoroughly enjoyed my date with Tivo last night. How about you?
I don’t have that much to say about Real Housewives. I’m very pleased and surprised that it will be a THREE PART reunion. Now that’s what I’m talking about! I really wish the three parts were one after the other . . . I don’t want it to drag out. Just hit me!
So Lisa and Adrienne. Geesh. Not so neighborly, I guess.
I have always thought that Lisa was funny — but I can’t stand little digs when someone is doing it to me so I get where the other girls are coming from. Jackpot is Adrienne’s child so I get that Lisa calling him Crackpot is quite upsetting. I mean, if someone called MY Sydney by a different name . . . say Lassie or Bingo or Kidney, I’d be devastated. Especially if I didn’t have time to cover her hears before the other person said it. She may not be able to speak English (although I understand her perfectly), but she UNDERSTANDS it.
Adrienne also seemed to know a lot of people who know a lot of people who know Lisa’s friends that said that Lisa said this and that and the other . . . Just ask Lisa!!! That whole bit was tiring.
I don’t know what to say about Taylor. I don’t have anything yet. It’s just too sad and I don’t think I should joke.
Brandi came out way too late — I think it’s going to get a lot better next week!
Let’s move onto the Bachelor.
Did everyone see that Emily (from Brad’s season) is going to be the next Bachelorette?? Hadar at Miss Kindergarten texted me during the show (we were actually texting through most of it because we’re BBFF’s now and it’s what we do) to tell me that Emily is the next Bachelorette. SWEET!!!!!
The Bachelor started off with the drama between Emily’s mouth twitching and Courtney’s shoulders shrugging.
Then Nicki and Ben went on a one-on-one. And it rained. So Ben decided to wear a hat. This is what I said when he wore the hat.
“Nooooooooooooooo!”
“No!”
“No!”
But he didn’t listen. And he wore it. Or, rather, the hat wore him.
I decided I like Nicki. And I actually LOVED the seashell, bucket, chair, umbrella, thingamajig they were sitting in. I need one of those.
The baseball group date was cute. My worst nightmare, but cute. I’ll tell you right now that I would have been picked last. I can’t hit a ball with a bat. Or a piece of cardboard. I have no business being anywhere near where a ball could hit me. But those girls were pretty darn good.
People, Ben did not fill out those baseball pants. My hubs played baseball his whole life and I watched a lot of his games when he was a highschool senior (and I was . . . ahem . . . mouth twitch . . . shoulder shrug . . . in college) and I loved the way he looked in his uniform. From the back. When he was catching. And Ben . . . not so much.
Red team wins. The crowd goes wild. Blue team CRIES AND CRIES. Waaaa. Waaaaa. “Time with Ben is precious, ” says one misinformed girl. I thought babies were precious. Or puppies. Time with Ben? Really?
The beach. All I can say is Ben’s hair is out of control. OUT OF CONTROL. Is it wet? Or is it sweat that’s making it do that? What is wrong with it???
Courtney starts hinting that she would like to be naked with Ben. Except she doesn’t hint. I said that to be nice. Courtney tells Ben that she would like to be naked with him. Because, shoulder shrug, mouth twitch, “a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do”. Meanwhile, she says she can’t believe a stripper (Blakely) can play baseball. Well, let’s see here. In all honestly, I didn’t know a stripper (aka skinny dipper) could model. BOO-YAH!
One-on-one time with Ellyce. The writing was on the wall. Did you see it? As soon as she said she gave up her job and her bridesmaid duty in her best friend’s wedding to be there for Ben, it was over.
Ben’s face was all scrunched up and annoyed looking. He just looked so . . . I don’t even know. But I could tell. And sure enough, bam! Get in the limo town car boat and go home.
Courtney waits up for Ben. At this point, Hadar had started texting me. So I knew.
Cover your eyes. Guard your children. Hold on while I cover up Sydney’s ears.
Courtney and Ben got naked and went in the water. Without clothes on. In their birthday suits. And it wasn’t even their birthday. I know! Do you think that they . . . they didn’t, did they?
Cocktail party. Ben feels “crappy” about what he did with Courtney. Besides skinny dipping, what did he do?????? WHAT?!
Blakely opened up. I don’t care.
Emily. Emily. EMILY! What a mess. She’s a mess. I hope this is not a spoiler alert but there is NO WAY she’s going all the way to the end.
The Rose Ceremony — here we go again with THE HAIR. What is going on with THE HAIR? It’s like another girl and it wants a rose, too. Is it the humidity? Does ABC not have a hair stylist that can work with his hair? I was so distracted by it. It’s not good. Really. I should not be this worried about someone else’s hair.
I was shocked when he let Jennifer go. He kissed her at the cocktail party. I checked (thanks, Tivo!). He gives Emily the SMACKDOWN (“Stay out of my other relationships.”), KISSES Jennifer, and then keeps Emily. Go figure. I think the hair got in his eyes which led to some sort of mix-up and he made a mistake.
Jennifer did not seem well. Or she had the hiccups.
I guess Courtney hasn’t been to Panama. Well, I have!
No, I haven’t. Just wanted to say that.
And my champagne glass is higher than hers this week!
Well, it would be if I was standing on a chair. Or a ladder. Or stilts.
So there.
You're the best! Only your wittiness could get me involved in these shows! I REALLY… SUPER DUPER… cannot take Courtney. She bugs me, oh so much, that I cannot pay attention to anything else. I keep asking… does she have friends? What does her family think? WHO is this girl? Seriously.
Thanks for the giggles.
♥ Dragonflies in First ♥
I actually thought Courtney's comment about Blakely was pretty funny. "I didn't know strippers could play ball." Ha!
Okay, I am really tired. I missed the paragraph where you state the above mentioned stripper comment. You're right, it takes a stripper to know a stripper. And I can't understand why Emily is the next bachelorette? She never seemed over her first husband. She's too nice to send the fellas packin'.
Im pretty sure I'm more impatient waiting for these posts than waiting to actually watch the bachelor. I was so shocked when he sent Jennifer home! But the producers threatened to cut his hair if he didn't keep Emily, I'm pretty sure. Can't wait til next season and I'm praying they bring Bentley back!!! Although I probably should be saving my prayers for more meaningful things…like precious time with Benny boo!
Finally! Now that I have read your post, I can watch last night's episode. I just can't watch without your input! Thanks for providing it!!!
Camille
Questions:
1) What was with the black stuff under the baseball player's eyes? Was that to make the ladies look macho or what???
2) What was Ben thinking? I mean really, WHAT WAS BEN THINKING? How could he go skinny dipping with Courtney? How can he possibly ask someone else to marry him now? "Will you marry me? By the way, the other night while you were in your room alone, I went skinny dipping with Courtney. Will you marry me?" ICK!!!
3) Will Ben listen when all of the girls go to him and tell him about Courtney? Will he see her true colors?
4) Is Courtney just an actress especially hired to act the way she is? No one could really be that uncaring, could they?
Camille
An Open Door
I definitely agree that with Brandi on the reunion show next week, it will get really interesting. She's definitely an odd one 😉
Jodi
Fun In First
Has anyone ever seen the movie "Dodge Ball"? The reason I ask is because I think Courtney looks like the hideous Russian woman player they got to play on their team at the end of the movie! Those eyebrows get on my nerves about as bad as Ben's hair! UGH!! CAN NOT STAND HER!!
I love your updates!
ok…I actually just saw a commercial for the bachelor, and ummm…the guy is UGLY!!! why would these women be vying for his "love"??? lol…
Jen
The Teachers' Cauldron
Okay, I'm sorry but he is just one cowlick away from being Alfalfa from the Little Rascals. But I loooooove him… I feel a connection… Whattheheckever!
What is with the hair?!?!?! And yes. They did get naked. And yes, they did. I mean seriously. Courtney is, lets just say, 'overly-confident' and it's obvious she's got her own issues. But hey, she's "winning." I do not like that girl. At. ALL!
Also…if Courtney isn't who Ben 'picks' at the end, how awful for the girl he did choose to have to sit and watch that! I would be beyond pissed. Well, if it wasn't over Ben.
SUPER excited for Emily! She is all kinds of amazing.
Love your "talk about it Tuesdays!" 🙂 We pretty much watch the same shows and agree on the same things so it's a nice reality tv validation! ha!
Kelly
Beg, Borrow, Steal
I heart your sarcasm!
So how about Dance Moms?? I just finished watching it because I can't stay up that late. So much drama. I don't think Peyton is going to be back. But boy can those girls dance!
Oh no!! I missed the reunion of Real Housewives!! I will have to see if it is on again!! I haven't watched T.V. much this week. It is has been just crazy!
Ben and Courtney totally did "it". If he picks her, I hope he is watching this and thinking "wow, she isn't a nice person!". Every season I say I won't watch anymore, but it's so addicting!!
I wish he had said why he let go of Jennifer..I liked her!
And his hair is horrible!!!!!!!!!! Maybe the hat was a good idea 😉
Ok, I don't even watch (though I have in the past) and I find these posts totally engrossing!! I'm afraid to get addicted to any more reality TV…it's my primary staple. I can feel my resolve crumbling–is it too late to catch up?!
Kristen
Awesome recap, yet again!!!!!!!!!!! His hair is really chapping me…it is the only thing I can focus on during the whole ahow. I am super sad about Jennifer, we were long lost redheaded friends. I mean, he kept EMILY (who I was pretty sure he hated with a passion) over JENNIFER ( the best kisser). You're right…hus hair in his eyes must be the ONLY way that happened!
Hope you're having a good week!!! 🙂
Yippee! Thank you for supplementing my reality tv addiction!
Will you be watching the new season of the OC Housewives?